After reading Flipper's thread about Steve Hassan's latest book it got me thinking about the stuff on phobias he mentions. Apparently cults deliberately instill phobias in you to cut you off from the real world.
We were constantly being told if we were struggling it showed we were doing everything right because the devil only persecutes those that are doing well.
If I ever said to anyone I am thinking of taking up a hobby or doing some exercise or (very rarely) planning a holiday they were instantly critical. 'How do you have time for that, what about doing more field service'.
I think maybe I've been struggling for years with the fear of doing things to be happy. I'm not giving up on it, I like being happy, but it but it seems to be more of a struggle than it should be. People who have never been in the Borg easily accept that it is their right to be happy, which of course it is. So I think it must be a phobia, like Hassan says.
You know - if everything is going well the Devil has already got you - these things sink in as a small kid don't they? I often have this feeling that everything is going so well it's bound to go belly-up any minute.
I've got to fight the programming. This make any sense to anyone?