I SPILLED SOME OF THE BEANS WITH MY DAD.....

by DATA-DOG 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Hi everyone.

    So this weekend I decided to tell my Dad about my being re-adjusted by the Elders. I gave him a cliff notes version of my meetings. I let him know that I was being disciplined for questioning certain procedures and being accused of bad-mouthing the Elder Body and that the term apostasy was mentioned. I also told him that I believed that JW Leaders do not know everything that they think they do, and that IMO a day was coming when they would be called to account. I also said that I found it disturbing that I was not allowed to have an opinion without being labeled as devisive or a candidate for apostasy.

    I felt nervous because even though he is " worldly ", he is studying. I feel that he is studying to make my mom happy, and I really do not think that he will ever be baptized which is fine with me. He was very frank. He said that I should just do what I can while not letting anyone harm my marriage or my family. He also said that people in positions of power tend to become corrupt and want to hold on to that power. I know this doesn't sound all that important, but we DO NOT really talk so this was a double whammy for me. Without saying it, he seemed to be telling me to watch out for myself and my family. He also told me that I can't really change anyone's thinking and could make things worse for my family if I argue with the Elders. I replied that there is no defense against " authority " and he agreed. He said it will all come to light. I also told him that I felt compelled to speak up if something was not true, but I realized that you cannot reason with some people. I am hoping that I have taken a first step to some deeper conversations. Still I have to be careful because many in my family are Elders.

    My dad also realated an intersting story to me. I have a brother who is DF'd. He was df'd about 16 years ago. I know for a fact that my brother experienced some abuse when he was young. So he acted out in different ways, and was eventually DF'd. I was always led to believe that the Elders really tried to help and that he was just so stubborn that they had no choice except to DF him. My Dad tells me that he was present for much of the proceedings and that the Elders were very cold and calloused. One in particular was extremely unkind, judgemental, rude, insulting, hatefull, pompous,ect.. My dad said that he had to excuse himself on occasions because he was afraid that he would say or do something to the Elders that would have made my brother's case worse. It did no good because he was df'd anyway. To hear my Dad say how evil he thought some of them acted was eye-opening. I asked " Why would **** ever consider going back after being treated so horribly?". He agreed that my brother wouldn't be motivated to return to the Dubs. Then he said that those Elders would get whats coming to them some day.

    I am sure there was more but that is the gist of it. So what do you think? Have I opened a door? Should I just proceed with caution? Is there a direction that I should take this? I feel that I should just kinda wait and see. The crazier the Borg gets the more we can talk....

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    sounds to me like he's telling u to fly underneath the radar

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    It sounds like, if you can keep asking the right questions, he could talk himself out of the Troof. E.g. ask questions like, does he think those Elders could have been selected via Holy Spirit? If he says no, ask him to read a WT article that claims they are, then ask what he thinks now?

  • cofty
    cofty

    Its good he didn't react defensively. Proceed with caution.

  • cofty
    cofty

    Its good he didn't react defensively. Proceed with caution.

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    DD: Without saying it, he seemed to be telling me to watch out for myself and my family. He also told me that I can't really change anyone's thinking and could make things worse for my family if I argue with the Elders.

    Your dad is right. Listen to him!

    DD: My Dad tells me that he was present for much of the proceedings and that the Elders were very cold and calloused.

    How was your father, an unbaptized man, allowed to be present for any of the proceedings?

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    "I feel that I should just kinda wait and see. The crazier the Borg gets the more we can talk."

    Excellenct choice. You know your dad better than any of us. Not only have you spilled some of the beans with your dad, he's spilled some of his beans with you. Now that there's been bean spillage, it makes it easier for him to bring up any JW issues on his mind. My only warning is to try to keep your conversation one-on-one, so that you always have the option of denial, if it comes to that.

  • problemaddict
    problemaddict

    Your unbabtized father was allowed in the JC? Was your brother a minor at the time? Sounds odd.

    Just let any elder try to talk to any member of my family without me present, or without a clear display of love and respect. It would be world war three up in that piece.

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Save him before its too late....

    "Hey Dad you wont believe what I have found out about....... [optional] = Russell,Rutherford, Franz, NWT irregularities, CoC, UN, Rand Cam,....."

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Why was my dad at the JC? I have no idea!? Can you bring someone in with you? Perhaps he was just there before and after and had exchanges with the Elders. He did not go into too much detail. This was a quick conversation that I just undertook on a whim. When I say we don't really talk, I mean it! He is old school and somewhat stoic at times. He was raised old school. I saw him as a kid but I really don't remember ever playing with him or even tossing a football or baseball around, seriously.. I was always scared of him to be honest. I think he just did not know how to express himself. Also to be fair he worked a lot to feed and clothe us. We never lacked what we needed, that is one reason I get very upset when others look down on him for being " worldly ". I recently told my wife that I did not care if my Dad was ever baptized, ever set foot in a KH or smoked until he died, I would NEVER think less of him or disrespect him.

    I thank all of you for your advice. I will remain under the radar and be observant.

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