After JWs--NOW WHAT???

by Smoldering Wick 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Smoldering Wick

  Ok, it's been four years for me since I left the JWs. I have been so busy trying to recover from the blow of leaving and losing friends, religion, a social group etc., that I haven't considered (too much) about what's next. I mean, I've tried to be open minded and listen to other people's beliefs hoping that somewhere/sometime/something would click. I thought wow, if only I'd get a visit from a big bright light to my living room where a commanding voice would tell me "THIS IS THE WAY!" and that would be it. um...it hasn't happened yet lol

  Being raised a JW...and only a JW, it's kinda hard to accept another religion. We were taught we had the truth and all other religions are false and doomed for destruction. I thought (briefly) about visiting other churches in my area, just to see what goes on there. But, to me...it would be just like becoming a JW again. I'd have to join a group, an organization...attend meetings, read their literature...and if I didn't think like them, would they accept me?

  I have even given thought to NOT believing in anything. I particularly liked this way as it required very little effort on my part except to try and erase old beliefs as they popped up in everyday life.

  Lately, I have been interested in learning more about beliefs & practices that were forbidden for me to investigate as a JW. Astrology, Precognition, Psychic experiences, ESP, Astral Projection, Spirits, Aliens you name it lol

  Yesterday, I got brave enough to go into a small store called "The Magick Circle."
  

  The Magick Circle is a Pagan shop that welcomes all who are following their own spiritual path. Magick, for us, is a way of life.. Our store stocks the essentials for the practicing pagan. Candles, oils, herbs, incense, cauldrons, crystal balls, tarot decks, athames, besoms as well as good informative books for those who are new to the old religion.

  I was greeted by a ghostly man in his late 50s wearing a Witches Pentacle. The air was thick with the smell of incense and herbs. I walked through two beaded entrance ways and into the way back where I saw ceremonial items including robes for sale. There were three rooms in the store, I couldn't stay long in any room, I felt strange. I started up a conversation with the ghostly man...and noticed he was rather uneasy (we both were!) I asked him about something I had been doing research online about...he feigned interest. When I looked into his eyes...they seemed dark and very distant. As soon as I did this he cut short the conversation and immediately left me. When I walked out of the store, I felt nauseated and anxious, my head even began to hurt! Maybe it was the smell of all the incense...I have a feeling that was the first and last time in that store for me! Before I left the store, I picked up a couple of news letters that had listings of various groups that met in our area. The groups ranged from Yoga, Philosophy, the Environment, Meditation, Zen Buddhism, Dreams & Metaphysics.

  I noticed that one of the groups was holding a meeting that evening...so I decided to go.

  I will write about my experience at the meeting next time! lol

  I was just wondering...have you all been searching? ...or are you content just to be an ExJW? Are you Christian, Pagan, Atheist, Agnostic? How did it feel the first time you began to believe something other than JW doctrine?

  "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
• 

  hooberus

  "I thought wow, if only I'd get a visit from a big bright light to my living room where a commanding voice would tell me "THIS IS THE WAY!" and that would be it. um...it hasn't happened yet"

  Jesus said that He was the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). Have you ever thought about a personal relationship with Jesus? I'm not talking about joining an organization, but a real relationship.(1 Timothy 2:5). You can pray to Jesus (Acts 7:59, 1 Corinthians 1:2). I went to church for years and never had this relationship, until when I was 22, I believed that Jesus Christ died for me and that his blood washed away my own sins. Find a good translation of the Bible like the King James Version and read the Gospel of John. I will pray for you that you find what you are seeking.
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  JBean

  Smoldering... Hi there! I commend you for your courage to go into a store like that! I've been tempted many times... but lacked the guts! : ) I posed the question of "what now" a while ago, and was kindly reminded that Jesus said we were to KEEP asking and we would receive, whatever we were asking for in his name. I decided that this was exactly what I would do. That there more than likely would never be a great light bulb going off, but "the way" would be found gradually. Only in looking back would we be able to see exactly how far we have come. Anyhow... that is just my advice... to keep reading, researching and asking! Also... PLEASE let us know how that meeting go attended went! I'm very interested! Jbean
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  HappyHeathen

  Smoldering,
  I certainly relate to your feelings. I have been out of the WT for over 25 years, but looking back, see that I went through a progression of phases in regard to religion.

  The first two years, I kidded myself that I might go back to the KH someday and felt like a bad little girl for even discussing religion. Eventually, when I had to admit that I lost faith in WT teachings, I attended a few churches while my children were little for a short time, but they all felt “too organizational” which made me uncomfortable – the bottom line was they all believed, as dubs do, that only THEY had the key to salvation, which turned me off immensely.

  My husband (now my ex and also an ex-dub) began studying Buddhism and Hinduism and shared some of their beliefs with me, especially those of Yogananda. For some reason, those discussions began to trigger a lot of questions about the Bible and Christianity – I realized that I had been disturbed for a long time about some beliefs intrinsic to both.

  I suppose I am agnostic at this point. I can’t say I disbelieve in God, but for whatever reasons he has chosen, I believe he has estranged himself from humans. There are times when I envy people who can believe! During times of stress and unhappiness, we all prefer to have the easy answers to life that religion provides. But I guess I’m too damn logical to buy into it.

  My advice is take a break from religion – don’t force it. Just live your life, help others, and be the best person you can. Somewhere along the way, the answers will come to you. You may not agree with my views in 25 years, but you will arrive at answers that work for you. Good luck on your journey.
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  Smoldering Wick

  Have you ever thought about a personal relationship with Jesus? You can pray to Jesus --hooberus

  hoob...I appreciate your comments. Yes, I have thought about Jesus. But, praying to him would require that I believed He is God. I investigated this...got to the point where I could 'prove' Jesus was God AND Jesus wasn't God from the same Bible! I am open to the idea of Christianity, but I still would like to investigate other non-Christian paths. At one time, I even began to doubt the Bible and the existence of God. However, my gut instincts tell me there is a Supreme Being...how far and where this takes me I am willing to journey.

  Anyhow... that is just my advice... to keep reading, researching and asking! Also... PLEASE let us know how that meeting go attended went! I'm very interested! Jbean

  Jbean...thanks for your advice...well taken. I think I will take my researching slowly at first. I do not want to discount anything without giving it needed thought.

  Well, as asked...here's my experience lol:

  The Ad said: Metaphysical Society meeting no fee 7:30 p.m.

  My niece (raised as a JW), her friend and I attended. When we walked in I immediately recognized the host. He was a college professor that I had met on a couple of occasions over the years...he also was the son of an older JW couple who were good friends with my parents! I thought how small my world really was. An ExJW was the president of the local Metaphysical Society!

  I don't know what I was expecting...a group of long haired people sharing a bong and talking about levitation I suppose. It wasn't like that at all (too bad! lol) The topic I read on the door was "New World Order" which surprised me of course. The small group of eight people started out talking about Alternative Health,
  Alternative News Items and then instead of the intended topic of "New World Order"...we talked about Jehovah's Witnesses and the Basics of Metaphysics.

  The two hour meeting was quite enlightening. This is how The College of Metaphysical Studies defines Metaphysics:

  What is Metaphysics? Metaphysics is the science or philosophy which systematically investigates the nature of first causes or principles of all existence, ultimate reality, knowledge, being and the nature of the universe. It is a philosophical doctrine that all things are a part of one main source, and that each thing, animate or inanimate, should be respected for its particular form of this one main source; therefore each thing has an independent function and is dependent on every other thing, and all are contributing to the main source. Metaphysics is a belief system. It covers a broad spectrum of ideas and concepts as well as providing a mental discipline we commonly refer to as The Science of Being. The old dictate of "know thyself" is apropos for a person practicing metaphysics. Metaphysics is the way to interpret and understand life on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual planes. The division of psychology dealing with metaphysical concepts is called parapsychology as it deals with things that go beyond the five senses. Metaphysics is seen as a Science because our belief system is demonstrated and manifested in concrete terms, a philosophy since it helps us to understand life and for many it serves as a Religion because it teaches us our relationship with God. We firmly believe that the wisdom of humanity is within. No topic is too much or too little to consider in metaphysical terms. It is truly an all-encompassing belief system. The emphasis is on the exploration of reality and how our level of consciousness determines the quality of life. While metaphysics is practiced by many as a religion, it is basically a belief system. Unity, Science of Mind and Religious Science are examples of Metaphysical religions. There are many who consider themselves metaphysicians but attend no worship services. However, they live their lives everyday in a metaphysical pattern. There is a great comfort in belonging to a group of people who think as you do but metaphysics makes no requirements for membership in any organization.

  Beliefs that I liked about Metaphysics were: That there was a Supreme Force in Nature. It didn't matter what you called that force or how you even viewed it. I liked the fact that there was no organization you had to be a part of to believe. Your path is individual rather than part of an organization. All religions are Metaphysical...meaning they believe in a Supreme being behind nature. You do not have to accept a dogma. As a JW, you accept that a man "Charles T. Russell" was chosen by God to receive divine inspiration. He and later a group of men defined the belief structure or dogma that makes up Jehovah's Witnesses theology. In order for a person to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses they have to fully accept the entire belief system set out by these men. If a person doubts even one part of that belief system, they are no longer considered a Jehovah's Witness. The belief system of Metaphysics is quite broad. Basically, the thought is that we are all one with the Ultimate Energy. Our path is to continually strive to move forward. As long as we are moving forward, we are on the right path. In Metaphysics, you do not impose your thoughts or beliefs on others. (I thought that was very cool)

  Well, that was my meeting. I'm not sure if I'm going to attend next week. I might. I would like another chance to talk to the ExJW who hosts the meetings. It looked like we had similar backgrounds and ideas. Anyway, it was good to finally get out of my shell and meet real live "worldly" people. I know I have a lot more to learn, and I can't wait.

  "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
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  Smoldering Wick

  My advice is take a break from religion – don’t force it. Just live your life, help others, and be the best person you can. Somewhere along the way, the answers will come to you. You may not agree with my views in 25 years, but you will arrive at answers that work for you. Good luck on your journey.--HappyHeathen

  HH, thanks for your words. I have been taking a break from religion and I do not intend to view my journey as one of religion but, a journey of spirituality. I'm reminded of a proverb..."When the student is ready, the Teacher will come." I'm not sure if this is true in my case...but, you're right, I'm not going to force it. Ü

  "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
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  pandora

  Smoldering Wick-
  I have a friend (X-JW) who went into something similar to this. She found that it was what she was most comfortable with. I thought it was a Wicca thing, but what you wrote about sounds very familiar. It could be the same thing and I am just wrong on the wicca interpratation. Anyway, she has moved on since into something even more spiratual in nature and she is very happy with it.
  As for me, the spiritual side of life has always intrigued me. The thought of using something other than the five senses. But I realized after looking back on my JW life, I never really believed,,, no, let me rephrase that. I always believed what they told me. But I never truely worshipped Jehovah. I grew up in the religion. I believed what they told me. But I never took Jehovah to heart. I know, that is kinda sad. I never made a relationship with him. I just lived by the rules until I was old enough not to. Sad thing is, I still believed. So, of course, that screwed me up for years to come. Anyway, there is a point here. In wondering, when I finally realized it was a load, what to do next, I thought of many different things and found that I didn't give a wit about most. I hated any kind of ritual, including church. My aformentioned friend spoke of ceramonies and rituals and offerings of some sort. I knew I could never carry through with any of those sorts of things. ( I sell Avon and can't even commit to their every other week meetings ) I absolutely hate the thought of having to be at meetings. But I am torn. I would love to find the commorodory found among church members. I love that big family. I have since thought about the Universal Unitarians. They seem to have the most liberal approch. See, I question the very existance of the Man himself. So they would except me. (so they say) But, yet again, there are meetings to attend.
  As you see, I am not there yet. I just want you to know that you are not alone in wondering, and maybe not making the choice yet. At this point, the only thing I am sure of is that I don't think HE exists and if he does, well from all reports he is a blood thirsty bad man and I want no part of him. So where does that put me? Who knows. I have a good family now. I have moved past my blood family (most JW's) and am happy with the small family I have made for myself. I am happy knowing I control my destiny. Happy knowing some blood thirsty god isn't out to get me. I breath easy knowing that I live this ONE LIFE for myself and my family.
  I may not know what orginazation I want to associate with or if I ever will, but as long as I put my family first I will be happy. I will never leave my family behind for anyone/anything. They are mine. Forever. For Always.

  Good Luck to you. You will definately find your true course. Don't settle for anything less than that one thing that makes you truely happy. Love yourself first.
  -P(J)
• 

  Introspection

  Hi Smolder,

  To be perfectly blunt, you can look for something external that you may like, but it may be somewhat superficial. If this spirituality stuff IS all within us, why do we have to go anywhere or learn anything, I mean really? Sure, you can read about different things and there's certainly nothing wrong with that, but there are a lot of people out there who searches high and low to find something that even they would agree is within themselves. That's just a little silly when you take a step back and really look at what's going on.

  You can believe things - it's kind of hard to function without believing in anything. But just don't be so inflexible with your beliefs that you are closed to new perspectives. Some may go on to another religion or some belief system and there may be nothing wrong with that, but it's a matter of how you approach it. As time goes on your perspective may change again, but if you latch on to another belief system and give no real consideration to whether it makes sense, (even if "you" "like" it (for the time being)) then you're going to be in another situation where you have all this cognitive dissonance going on in your head. Just be honest with what you believe and why you believe it.

  In answer to your question, I have kind of stopped searching. At this point you might say anything I learn would just be a matter of "deepening", but there are some principles that's fairly universal. And again this is the point I'm trying to make; there's nothing to search for really, you just have to see what's already here.
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  ashitaka

  Perhaps we should all just look for the Tipi deep inside the depths of our bungholes, in Nicaragua.

  ashi
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  Introspection

  Shut up Ashi, you're giving away my secret agenda!

  I suppose that picture doesn't help bolster my credibility, but I like it that way. People can read the words for what they are.