Live, and Let Live!

SophieG

Hey lovely, people!

Just an update.

Well, I think my family is going to leave me alone. As long as I shut it and don’t rock their boat, I think I will be able to keep the ties.

After the initial blow-up (when a close JW girlfriend freaked out that I was walking away and contacted some family members), I gave them all some space to digest this new change in our family dynamic. I did not speak to them for about a month. A few weeks back I heard that they were all hanging at a relative’s place and I just showed up. I was all smiles and happy-joy-joy. I think that they were just so happy to see me they did not care and it was family business as usual. I decided then that from this point forward it’s just best to “keep the peace” and stay as neutral about the Org.

When the JW talk starts *eye-roll* I just remain quiet and respect that even though I KNOW this org is built on a house of cards, it’s where they want to live. I am hoping by just being neutral and LIVING the best life possible they will start to wonder: Why did Sophie leave? If they ask, only then will I open my mouth and share how wonderful life can be with the constant control, indoctrination, contradiction, lies and restrictions that I truly believe is causing the majority of stress in the lives of my loved ones.

I do not want this crazy cult to take away the most important thing in my life: my family. I refuse to let them. I think that people should be able to make choices about their lives and not have to be penalized for them, especially the loss of loved ones. I just want to live my life…and for the WTBS to leave me alone!!! (*cue MJ’s: LEAVE ME ALONE...feel free to sing along! )

I am so grateful for JWN and all you crazy, smart, funny people. You have helped me tremendously on this part of my journey! THANK YOU!

Side note: Some sister sent me a friend request and I was like: OH HELL NO! LOL! I don’t need another JW friend…I am trying to get rid of the ones I have!!!

Lozhasleft

Carry on with your thought out strategy, it appears to be working for you. Well done Sophie.

Loz x

Ding

I hope it continues to work out for you.

Even if they ask, if you want to preserve the relationships, be very guarded in what you say.

With the us v. them mindset of the WT, often questions are asked for the purpose of catching you in something you might say so they can smoke you out and condemn you (much as the Pharisees did with Jesus).

If you answer directly, they'll accuse you of apostasy or sowing discord.

If your top goal is to preserve family relationships, have a non-committal answer ready in case a family member or elder asks you point blank what's wrong, why you aren't attending meetings, doing field service, etc.

SophieG

Aww...Thank you Loz. I have family members that went to the Annual Meeting and it took every ounce of ”shut –it” not to ask them about the “NEW LIGHT”. I saw photos of WTBS "stuff" and I was thinking the whole time: Hmmmm...so THAT'S where the money goes. Um--hmmm...jokers!

I just walked away…it was so hard, though!

Hey Ding! I plan on just keeping it totally neutral if a question comes up. I have a mantra: I am SOOO HAPPY!!! and that is it! I don't plan on talking about the org and the obvious issues. I intent to sow seeds that there is life outside of WTBS and I am living it...quietly and calmly!

So far, no one has tried to "find" me and I am not looking for them either.

..and OH! One of my friends is getting tired of the madness too and is working on LIVING without this mess. It was touchy at first because I did not want to get into another blowup but as time went on I realized a kindred spirit. We DO NOT discuss org stuff...only the lives we want to live!

panhandlegirl

Glad things are working out for you. I agree with "live and let live." Your mantra is a good one. You got to do what you got to do!

PHG

Phizzy

Well done Sophie !

A similar strategy has worked for me, we do not discuss religion or WT Org stuff with our JW family, and we seem to have established a peaceable way of going on.

I don't want a huge barrier erected between me and them, and as things are , at some stage I may be able to help some of the younger ones leave, but even if I do not manage that, we still have a familial relationship.

O.K, it is hard to keep my mouth shut, but the alternative is to speak out, get myself DF'd, and all that lot remain as JW's anyway. No gain there for me, all loss for me, and no loss for them as they will see it, they would just be avoiding an Apostate as they have been taught, and will believe it is "Jehovah's will".

Carry on my dear, good luck, and keep on enjoying your life of freedom !

DesirousOfChange

I just walked away…it was so hard, though!

I find it so hard to silence myself when I think of all the damn damage and the cost they have inflicted upon me and my family as a result of adhering to their ridiculous prophecies.

Doc

wha happened?

ACTING NORMAL and living a decent life is the best way to refute their stupid ideologies. I remember one friend's reaction to me telling him I hadn't been to a meeting in 6 years. I finally told him, so much for returning to their vomit. oh yea. He's also the friend who is going throu a divorce

J. Hofer

sophieg, i'm pretty much at the same spot. works quite well. after all the JWs are not the only nutters out there. but i know how it's like to keep the mouth shut when the JW talk starts... grab some beer and everything's fine.

nuthouse escapee

That's wonderful news Sophie. Your strategy seems to be working so far. I hope you will be able to keep your relationship with your family. When they start the JW blah, blah, blah just zone out and "go to a happy place" lol. I like your mantra of just telling them how happy you are. Leslie

Live, and Let Live!

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