NON JW ENGAGED TO A JW

Cj

Hello All!! I am 22 years old and very much in love with my fiance.We have overcome many obstacles and have many more to overcome but they have all been worth it..My fiance was raised as a JW and I was raised as a Catholic.I am non-practising and am considering converting to his beliefs.I have been doing alot of research and,truthfully,I am not in agreement with most of what I have learned.I know that we have to reach some sort of religious agreement before getting married and bringing children into the picture.I am feeling overwhelmed.I love him with all my heart and soul.I am Christian and pary to God as opposed to Jehovah..to me they are one and the same...His parents don't approve of me due to my upbringing..his father is a "minister".My father doesn't approve of my fiance because we are of different races....Does anyone have any encouraging words?Suggestions?
Christina {CJ.}

Simon

I wish you all the best Cj - unfortunately, the religious and recial differences will probably make things difficult but it's really down to both of you as to how you cope with them and no one else.
Do not underestimate the pressure that your partners familly and friends will put you under to 'join them' though - until you do you will probably always be treated as a kind of outsider.
I think love can overcome anything though, he most love you a great deal to consider marrying outside of the faith because there is a lot of pressure not to do this.

Pathofthorns

Here's a suggestion:

Don't be hasty and think and ask questions.

You're already doing that.

Don't join the religion for anyone and if you're not 100%sure and committed. Make sure you understand what you are getting into.

If your fiance has been raised in the religion, he is affected more than you can imagine, and there is nothing you can say or do to change this. You could find yourself in for more than you bargain for, and as hard as you try to understand his thinking and reasoning on certain issues, you just won't be able to.

Raising children with parents from 2 conflicting backgrounds should be interesting. You have to realize that Catholics are basically the "arch enemy" of Jehovah's Witnesses. Just look at their history in the "Proclaimer's Book" (they can show you this book). Of course, this whole thing with catholics is in their heads, but nevertheless that is the way it is .

Anyway, I wish you both well. It never hurts to just get all the facts and think about things before rushing into anything.

What city in Canada are u from ? (if you don't mind me asking?)

Path

larc

You should look at the thread where the heding is: "I am a non-witness in love with one. please help." Many things were said there that may be of help to you.

larc

I forgot to mention. The subject I just mentioned can be found under "Main", not under relationships.

thinkers wife

Cj,
Welcome! You are really in a tough spot. My advice would be not to convert unless you are totally convinced for yourself that it is the right thing for you. You will come to realize that there are many strings attached to being a JW. You need to know what these strings are before you commit to it.
One thing to consider is how strong is your fiancee in the religion.
Also has he asked you to convert? Because IMHO, if we really love someone, we don't ask or even want them to change. This is very important in a long term relationship. Acceptance of each other as we really are.
Thinkers Wife

neyank

Hi Cj,
I agree with what thinkers wife has said.
There are many strings attached to being a JW.
You must realize before tying the knot, that if he is strong in the JW faith your whole world will change.
Not only will you be marrying him, you will also be marrying the JW religion.
You may be in love at the moment, but if you aren't ready to become a JW, that love can turn into a nightmare.
Learn all you can about the WBTS.
There are many that have been thru what your thinking about doing.
I'm sure they'll be happy to give their advice.
neyank

waiting

Hey cj,

Nice to meet you. I was raised a Catholic, then converted when 18, baptized at 21 to a jw. After 30 years, am inactive.

One thing to consider about marriage. If he's a regular jw and you don't convert - he will, most likely, fight you on how to raise your children. They will be jw's, period. He's taught that their lives depend upon it. If you fight him, and divorce, you're children most likely will be taught not to get too close to you as you will be killed by God soon for not being a jw at Armageddon. It plays havoc with a child's mind, for he loves both of his parents, regardless of their religions.

Several different parents have written about the problem of being "on the outside." Jw grandparents are just as bad - speaking about the "worldly" parent.

Serious things to think about - you will be marrying the religion and his family if he stays a jw. A good time for you and him to read - anything and everything before committing. Then, it's too late to learn.

waiting

neyank

Hi waiting,
Good advice. You smart person you.

ps. I'm still waiting for an invitation to the wedding so I can see the Drifters. :-)
Ok. If not, can you at least tape them singing? :-)

neyank

Cj

I would like to thank all of you for your opinions/advice/suggestions..There is something else that I should mention..I do love my fiance and would marry him in a heartbeat...if not for all of the religious issues we have to work through.I am trying my best to keep an open mind but I REALLY don't agree with what he believes in.He is not an active JW but he has the beliefs he was raised by....A friend of mine knows all about my dliemna and has helped me talk through all of this many times.My friend is Catholic as well....I care for my friend and know that if I hadn't met my fiance,I would probably be with my friend romantically...Last night my friend was here,we watched a movie.I broke down crying over my "religious situation",he hugged me to calm me down...He almost kissed me,that is to say we almost kissed..What does this mean? I lay awake all night thinking about everything..I do love my fiance,with all my heart and soul.I am trying soooo hard to stay positive,to believe that love conquers all and that the religion issue will work itself out...Still I keep dreading the thought that my kids will know the Mommy is a big bad Catholic!! His parents will never accept me unless I conform to their beliefs..*Sigh*.So much to think about that my head is spinning!!
Thoughts?

NON JW ENGAGED TO A JW

Share this