I am going to be with a JW friend for the next few days. We planned this vacation some time ago.
I haven't spoken to her since she hung up on me. At the time, I was trying to explain my pain with Eric's death. I told her it was one of the contributing reasons why I have challenges with the WTS. When I told her about the pain he was in about being disfellowshipped (which later he learned to be a DA but when you're cutoff from your family, what's the damn difference), she snapped and said "there HAD to be more reasons than THAT." Her focus was clearly on the DF, not the suicide. I told her of his 7,000+ posts that ranged from kind and gentle encouragement to internal pain at the loss of his family. I started reading one of his posts and "click"
There was one text message exchange where I *heard* the full cult persona: "I love our Creator and will continue to imitate His love in my life. You have rendered judgement on Jehovah's Witnesses and that's the end of it. That's your choice. We all have an accounting."
I don't know WHO that person is....
Since then, conversations have been swirling in my head.
- Her 80 year old grandmother told me (with respect to the Trinity), "Jehovah is not a God of confusion!" My self talk now goes like this... "He isn't? Well can we talk about 1975? YOU were there! What about the generation change? HUH? Did Jehovah LIE to the F&DS or did the F&DS lie to YOU? OH WAIT! I'M SORRY!!! THE NOW DEFUNCT F&DS, WASN'T REALLY THE F&DS... YEAH OKAY... NOT A GOD OF CONFUSION? ARE YA' KIDDING ME?" and
- Kay (not her real name), who is the F&DS? The annointed? Are you sure? REALLY sure? Okay... and
- You hung up on me. Why talk to you....
*huge sigh*
We've known each other for years. We used to be able to REALLY talk to each other. Right now, I'm one of very few worldly ties left. Trying to decide if it's more right to stay away from "spiritual matters" for the sake of the relationship she doesn't even realize she may one day need with a wordly? Or if I should back away from this insanity. Maybe I just feel sorry for her. It's going to bother me the whole time.
I wish I could exchange ideas with all of you, but I'm on lockdown after 11 tomorrow. Just say a prayer or send a good wish that the right thing happens... whatever it is.