The shift: from follower to wanting to leave (page 2)

DJS

Magnum,

Thank you for sharing your experience. I've come to think of you as one of the most respected and helpful contributors on this site. Upon exiting the cult, and even before, I spent years examining and evaluating my theism and how I got myself trapped in the cult, allowing the control and being blind to the Dark Lords' nonsense for so long.

I sought to understand me; I was no longer looking for answers, as I had realized by that time that I didn't even know the questions. Everything I thought I knew I had to learn again. I hope you can come to some sort of understanding and put it behind you enough to hit the hyper drive, living and enjoying life to its fullest measure.

ParadiseBeauty,

I echo others when they suggest that you slip away quietly and quickly. We know you feel strongly about discussing your revelation with others, but there is no good that can come from it. It will cause you needless emotional stress and you won't have accomplished anything other than being branded with the "A."

Slip away, quietly and quickly.

LostGeneration

Paradisebeauty - Congrats on waking up to the deception and lies of the WTS. Others have already stated it, but right now you are in an extremely emotional and vulnerable position, so its best to do nothing. Its always best to operate from a position of strength, though that is very difficult even in the best circumstances because of the power structure of the cult.

Take a few months, absorb it all. Think about it and your situation. Then make your move.

paradisebeauty

@ oppostate

I feel the same way about this:

I came to understand that no organization can lay claim to being God's representative on Earth, nor his "Channel".

and I believe to claim this is the true "brazen conduct" in front of God

I also feel like the years in this org made me feel separated from other people, from humanity. I need to get to know people who are outside of this org.

I am thinking of the 12 years in this org as being just a step in my search for God. But I like the way you named your moment of awakening: "epiphany" - I might borrow that.

Magnum

DJS - thank you. I can honestly say that I have come to think of you likewise.

I hope you can come to some sort of understanding and put it behind you enough to hit the hyper drive, living and enjoying life to its fullest measure.

Again, thanks. I will try.

paradisebeauty

@ Magnum

I believe there are answers - I hope!

It's just that they are not in an organization, they are in a personal relationship with God and Jesus. I believe Jesus is the only mediator between God and human being. We need nobody else, an certainly.

I decided to study the new testament by myself, there are different translations of the Bible available.

I am also thinking of going to other christian's groups meetings but I'll have to do this discreetly, at least in the beginning, until I am ready to come out with what I believe now ...

paradisebeauty

@ Phizzy, John Aquilla, freemindfade, Oubliette, clarity, DJS, LostGeneration,

Thank you all for the advice and encouragement,

I will have to learn to shut up ... it's gonna be difficult because I hate to fake and pretend ... but I am aware I need to keep things a secret for know as I am not emotionally ready for what it is going to happen ...

I am so glad we can talk through this forum!

cantleave

I remember that happening to me about 6 years ago. Enjoy the ride.

FayeDunaway

The shift in my thinking was gradual, I had always had strong doubts. I have a questioning mind and never took in information without questioning it. However, I tried to make it work and just go along with it most of my life. My parents are very devout witnesses. Eventually though I couldn't stand it anymore. I had my own family and they were growing up. I didn't want them to feel pressure to be baptized and repeat this cycle. I wanted them to be free. Many factors were involved, but I started reading the bible on my own. My eyes were opened, as yours are now open. I read had many of the same thoughts as you, about the scriptures. I felt a very deep connection to Jesus. I felt strongly that all who accept him as their savior should partake at the memorial. It is so clear in the bible. After passing the emblems along one memorial, I promised to myself and to him I would never reject him again. We were able to move, which helped a lot with the fade. My parents and brother are still in and hardly talk to me. I researched a whole lot about which church to choose...I like to worship with others. As long as you don't go extreme, they are very similar with slight differences. I couldn't quite accept Catholicism with its rosaries and Mary worship which is unbiblical (on the other hand, witnesses NEVER talk about her! Funny.)..I chose a liberal denominational church and have been there a good number of years now. One person there annoys me, but I figure that will happen anywhere I go. For you I recommend worshipping at a church because I read your other post and you need friends, as I did. But take your time and pray about it. Keep your receptors open and God will help you find the way as he did me.

paradisebeauty

@ FayeDunaway

I was a witness for 12 years and some years before I went on and off with studying with them.

I met a lot of jw's but I am not sure I could say about any of them that they are my really true best friend forever, they are more like acquaintances ... most of them look for you when they need something ...

It's not so much about friends, but I think I would need to go to religious meetings from time to time, plus being present at the commemoration of Jesus and being allowed to take part without others thinking you went nuts ...

I like the way they did it in this church, except the cross, everything happened according to the Bible. But don't know if they always keep it on 14th nissan, or it was just this year because it happened to be on a Friday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iruN1ZD6F5w

I am glad you found a group of Christians to meet with. I hope I will, too.

Ding

Welcome to freedom!

One question that always bugged me about God supposedly always working through one and only one organization was how Brother Russell and his followers could have been in the truth, given that he refused to submit to the authority of any existing organization but started up his own instead.

How could his organization then be the one true organization through with Jehovah had always been working?

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

Share this