The PHOTO

by Terry 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nambo

  I know just how you felt Terry because I am in the same situation, my parents split up when I was 18 months old, but I dont remember my dad.

  I found him again when I was 28 the day after asking Jehovah where he was, so I got to have an ok relationship with him, and I made a bit of an effort when a Dub to see my Mum, but I never told her I had found him,

  so there I am, seeing both of them, but being unable to even imagine that they had ever actually met each other, its just so wrong, it really rips you up inside like you wouldnt imagine unless you experienced it yourself.

  To be next to my Mother and Father at the same time, it would make me feel I was part of my own family instead of a parasite on someone elses family.

  I can imagine how precious that photo must be, my Mother selfishly got rid of anything to do with my real father so I didnt even know what he looked like until I met him at 28.

  Allthough its nowhere near as emotionally important to me, I also have a similar desire with all my half brothers and sisters being together at one time, nearest we got was 5 of us, Ive since met another one, and know of another two that none of the others ever met.

  But it will never happen.
• 

  caliber

  Thanks for sharing this bitter sweet story ... very touching
• 

  Terry

  My Dad was Military Police at Carswell in Ft.Worth and my Mom was Women's Army Corp and working at the Base Exchange (sort of like one stop shopping for military).

  The story was that my Dad-to-be came in each evening and sipped a beer and read a book quietly in a corner and played one tune over and over on the Juke Box.

  My Mom-to-be wasn't interested until her sister started talking to him and flirting. Then, the competition gene was activated and a full court press was begun.

  Now, if I had to guess---and I am guessing....I bet my Dad got my Mom pregnant at a time when--IF such things happened you "made an honest woman of her" by marriage. Sounds pretty silly and very sexist at this late date--but, this was standard operating procedure culturally.

  I can't imagine the two of them getting married for any other reason.

  Dad was an intellectual and Mom was the complete opposite.

  Nature mixes strange cocktails and the species survives with much variety, alas!

  Those two people in the photo are awfully young! And I am so much older than they are then!

  My Mother died at the same age I am now. Interesting......
• 

  Violia

  my mother died 10 yrs ago today and I have been feeling so sad. Thank you for sharing your story. Life is so short and I am glad I could spend the last few years with my mom.
• 

  Terry

  I was talking to my cousin yesterday about our mothers (who were, of course, sisters) and speculating about all the time they wasted

  being angry at each other.

  My cousin Deb admitted that whenever she was around her own mother she always came away depressed and distressed.

  I acknowledged that I often felt that way when spending time with my own mom.

  Why?

  In both cases it was because our mothers had a habit of being and thinking and talking about NEGATIVE subjects almost exclusively.

  Now, what I'm saying here is sort of negative as well--but, I want it to be cast in a light that will be positive.

  Specifically: Any of us can fall into a habit of thought or conversation where we gravitate toward what is WRONG rather than what is RIGHT with us or the world.

  Jehovah's Witnesses for all their infatuation with Paradise have an obsession with End Times and the world falling apart.

  Couldn't this account for depression among members?

  I'm trying to learn balance in my own life for maybe the first time.

  What does that look like? Well, if I find that I'm spending time on a negative I try very hard to search for the antidote and bring that to bear quickly!

  What is the remedy, the solution, the answer the plan?is more important than a simple rant rant rant!

  We all have heard that old saying: If you aren't a part of the solution you may be part of the problem.

  Sort of like that!
• 

  sabastious

  That's a great story, Terry! Remarkable! I am so happy for you.

  -Sab
• 

  still thinking

  I was adopted Terry, I never met my father. I know my mother and have a little contact with her. I understand those childhood fantasies and dreams.

  I have tears running down my face because I feel so happy for you.

  ((((((Terry)))))
• 

  rip van winkle

  Terry, I'm positive that what I may say may sound negative. Anyway, here I go.

  Before I started to put together the pieces of the WT puzzle to reveal it's true picture, I had started to withdraw from "negative" people in the congregation.

  What I found was I was alone, a lot. I could no longer deal with all the negativity, as I was dealing with a terminally ill mother and my own serious health issues.

  The "friends" spent a lot of their time unburdening themselves to me with all their problems, without concern or understanding of the heavy burdens I carried. And, honestly, their complaints were nothing extraordinary. Nothing deep or meaningful. Just even the tone of their "Hello's were negative.

  In any event, now the positive. If I had not removed myself from them, I probably would still be lying to myself about TTATT.

  I am happier since I removed the toxic people from my life. I am healthier, too.

  That kind of negative thinking permeates and is contagious. I don't want to contaminate other people and I think I have found the immunity from that disease.

  Time away from that gives time for introspection. I think that's the antidote. Everything in moderation.

  So, like you, I'm trying to balance and equalize.
• 

  james_woods

  I am still glad you found that picture, Terry, even if you have some negative thoughts about your parents.
• 

  Finkelstein

  Your story Terry reminds of how people when their young and immature and a bit naive do things like getting married to people

  who are not suitable or compatible with one another but regrettable at times produce offspring during that relationship.

  I could use myself as an example in this regard.

  All the best that we can do is to strive to not make as many mistakes as possible during are own life time.