I am a non-witness in love with one. help please

by jarrod 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Jarrod,
    Hope this goes well for you. If it is any solace. My husband is a non-JW. And the fact that he shows great interest in learning about the religion (without any chance of ever being converted) is of great benefit to our relationship. I cannot express how much this means to me, although I am no longer an active witness.
    Good Luck, and may all your dreams come true!
    TW

  • Frenchy
    Frenchy

    Jarrod: Tell us how your visit went last night.

    -Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

  • TR
    TR

    Jarrod,

    It really depends on how "devout" the family members are. Do you really want to marry a woman who's family may become estranged over this? Your girl may be shunned as a result of your relationship. If I were you, I'd wait and see if she leaves the WTS of her own accord. If that happens, she may have already screwed her relationship with her family, maybe not though. Depends on how hard-line these JW parents are. Also, your girlfriend is only 22. Pretty young still. Hasn't been out on her own yet.

    If she's typical for a JW, and she does leave the WTS, she may be in for years of depression and guilt over it. Is that the kind of situation you want? Not saying that's the case or will be, but it's very possible. I'm not trying to be negative, just realistic.

    TR

  • larc
    larc

    Another thing you need to consider is, what life will be like if she remains loyal to the religion. She won't be home a lot in the evenings and on weekends. She will be at 5 meetings a week and will be going from door to door. Also, she wil not be celebrating the following with you and your relatives: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, 4th of July, Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve. When you have children she won't want them do any of this plus no trick or treating at Halloween. Also, she won't want the children to be involved in any extra-curricular activities at school.

    Are you ready for this life style?

  • JT
    JT

    you all are GOOD i mean really good

    this is why the net poses the biggest challenge wt has ever faced

    it gives persons what we never had- a chance to ask the RIGHT QUESTIONS

    JUST COnsider how many of us would have never become a jw if we had the chance that folks have today to learn about wt

    jw praise to high heaven those who ask lots and lots of question

    the only problem is- it is only after you become a jw will you now know the right questions to ask- but oopps it's too late now to ask any questions

    I love this NET "THANG"

    JUST MY 2 JT

  • jarrod
    jarrod

    I do see where everybody is coming from. Being compatible is not just about being in love. Even though we are so close, we live in different worlds. I sat down with her father last night and he told me that in there is absolutely no way and that it is against the religion to marry, date or even befriend somebody outside of the religion. This view was shocking to me in ligh of what I have heard from other member of the religion. It seems like there is no clear cut rule. You are right in your concerns about what I am willing to accept too. I have to understand that I may not be able to accept a life with her too. I can't believe that I am in this situation. I have avioded it an hoped that it would go away. We both have. We just wanted to be honest with ourselves and those around us. We have much to think about in this difficult time to come.

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    I might be wrong but you may find it quite difficult to contact her now, you have spiritually endangered her (their words) so quite possibly she will be monitored to discourage any further contact, she must choose what she wants to do now,
    I found someone outside the jws, I married him a couple of years later,we may be divorced now ...ok someties I really dont like him much but he helped me get out and thats something I will always be grateful for, I've never regretted getting out, but it wasnt easy, I can understand why some just have to go back, some cannot survive the harsh reality that they are only loved on condition that they follow the party line,
    hope things work out for you, but it depends on how strong willed your girlfriend is.
    nelly

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Jarrod,
    I feel so badly for you and your girlfriend. Please pay close attention to what everyone has said they are accurate. And weigh all these things very carefully before comitting to anything long term.
    I am interested to your girlfriends reaction to the discussion last night?
    TW

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit