You are now on the radar. Or at least more so then before. I would cease to communicate in any way shape or form with the BOE from this point forward. They can and will act on anything out of your mouth whether you are present or not at a JC.
How do your children feel? To what extent are they controlled by mom and what are their inclinations towards spiritual activities?
My two youngest children strive to please their mom by going along with meetings etc. to keep the peace in her home. They also look forward with a passion to spending time with me when they are allowed to do all the things their peers are doing, i.e. extra cirricular school activities, BD parties, holidays. I encourage them to cooperate when they are with mom and at the same time I diligently strive to provide them with the alternative when they are with me. It is my firm belief that any child when given the opportunity of "choice" when it comes to their maturation process and an allegience to the WBTS, will clearly discern the motivations of each parent and their ideals of upbringing. Without "alienating" the mother you can still show a life choice to your children allowing them to have a more balance view of their personal belief system.
What has been in my corner is unconditional love and displaying to them that they truly come first in my life. While I may not agree with some of their decisions, I would never abandon them hook line and sinker. Without so much as one single effort by myself they have been able to discern that they are not truly the first place in mom's life. Mom has even spelled it out for them...first is jehovah, then the organization, the elders, my new husband and then you. While she attempts to convince them that they are all important to her, her choices display otherwise. Some would argue that children can be petulant and manipulative. That may very well be true. But as they grow older, will they not seek out parental guidance that clearly gives them unbiased stimulation to promote wise and personal choices unclouded by rigid dogma and pressure at the hands of highly indoctrinated spiritual leaders? It is a choice I was never afforded.
I believe children need both parents even if both parents can not agree on a world view. I do not believe children should be used as pawns in order to irritate another parent who has a differing world view. Communication with children without derailing their other parent is possible. Asking them viewpoint questions is far more productive then dictating what they have to do, when, where, and how. Maybe they dont want to play sports, or celebrate birthdays, holidays etc? Maybe it is because of the indoctrination they are still receiving? But maybe the dont want to go to meeting, field service or participate in family bible study either? Once they learn to use a respectful voice, they can lobby for themselves. They are going to mature, and given the right tools of discernment and analyzation, they are going to break free from the bonds a religious sect, cult or creed places upon them.
My greatest fear is that upon their path to adulthood, they would ever blame me for disrupting a relationship with their mom. Kids change. What means a great deal to them today could mean the opposite 10 years from now.
I think what I am trying to say is, leave the religion and the chess games with the elders and mom out of the equation with your kids. And if you insist on going there, try to shelter them from the fact that the game is actually taking place. I am not naive. I know the type of brainwashing they are no doubt getting from mom. But dont stoop to her level. You are not Satan. Your kids will know this for certain as they become adults.
I get the feeling from your OP that you are still together with mom? What are the chances that a sit down and discussion about your views would yield favorable results from her to avoid YEARS of misery moving forward apart?
I genuinely feel for you. I wish you the best. I apologize if my comments seem off base or cause you irritation. I am living it and thought my experiences could provide material for thought.
