Can't get work after pioneering

by ekruks 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hortensia

    " tell me it must be I offended the holy spirit, that I am letting the demons get to me. They tell me I need to pray more, read the Bible more, and be more submissive, then I will feel peace of mind."

    Yeah, I got that sermon too. What it really means is that they don't really give a damn, and they want to make it your fault for not being good enough. The result for me is that I got so damned depressed I stopped attending meetings, and then I found out I felt a lot better as long as I didn't go to a meeting. Haha!

  • jgnat

    Hey, eruks.

    I'm wondering, since the social services in the UK are at least as robust as they are in Canada, if there might be a career support agency that can help you? They might help you build a skills-based resume, and perhaps work experience in another field.

    An idea, anyways.

    Is there a reason you are still heading to the elders for "support"? My hubby is still a JW but I've convinced him that for some things, it is better that they stay in the dark. Their "advice" would only harm.

    If I were you, I'd save the most raggedy clothing for meeting days.

  • JWdaughter

    If your resume is really saying "college dropout who cleans windows" then I'd say you need to revamp your resume! Seriously, if you ran a business for years and all, that is experience. You can speak to someone at job center or a professional resume consultant and find a way to make your resume more desirable.

    BUT, I think that is stopgap. You have to eat now, so you need to diversify into any home services that you are qualified for,

    AND, this is more important-get that student loan that your family discouraged you from getting years ago. Go back to uni and do what you always wanted to do. Whatever part of your depression/tiredness is situational will soon correct itself and help a doctor deal with any real physical illness. Do something to improve your life and move forward.

    You might want to speak to a charity that helps men get their lives back in order after homelessness, drugs, jail. Though you don't have THOSE issues, they would likely have resources and useful information for you to get you on your feet since you don't have family resources anymore. It is kind of sad that merely stepping away from a religious organization can render you as bereft of family as a criminal/lowlife, but deal with the reality you have and step out bravely to confront your future and improve your outlook and your life.

    My best to you.

  • ekruks

    I would like to thank you all for your suggestions and support !!

    If anyone else is thinking to do this, GO FOR IT!

    I did some work for a local company who didn't pay me, so that goes with the ideas on here to work for free for experience... didn't help with the bills, but I put it on my CV/resume..... revamped my CV heavily, not mentioning the window cleaning. Instead wrote that I had been doing ministry, but I specified my role was equivalent to sales, and described servant duties as if I was a supervisor assisting management (it's how a business would see it!!)

    An elder was willing to go on my CV as a reference (he's not in a different city and was always friendly to me - he feels I am depressed due to stress from imperfection in the congregation), so I wrote that he was my mentor in sales (I think this helped!)

    I almost left when I arrived early for one interview and overheard candidates before me talking about their degrees. I was telling myself I couldn't pull this off and to just go and wipe some windows. But what I want to share with you is that no one questioned that I had been a salesman (well, we all have been selling the Watchtower; ministry tactics are sales techniques). I was worried they knew someone whose windows I had cleaned, and throw out the dumb window cleaner - but I was ignoring how influenced people are by apperance - I was all dressed up as if it were the assembly, suit, tie, polish shoes, and we are used to dressing like that. I almost threw up when they told me I got the job!

    I feel like I have thrown a lot of time and opportunities away, as I see people younger than me in jobs that pay more. BUT this is a lot better than cleaning windows - I don't earn much more and it's a much easier day, with a lot less stress (ironic because brothers say window cleaning is the stress-free way, but too many winters with low heating, not enough food, no money to fix car, no thank you!)No window cleaning customer ever gave me perks like phone, laptop, fuel allowance, or said they will pay for work-related training.

  • jgnat

    It took a month...not bad! Not bad at all! You did good.

  • ekruks

    jgnat, I thank you for your encouraging advice, which was very helpful.

    I agree it's better that the brothers stay in the dark - their advice can be rather aggressively forceful, stressful and just wrong - I play down to them my career aspirations, but I want to get out my rather poorly-made flat, get a car that doesn't break down a lot and find a girlfriend, maybe marry (very mixed feelings there) and have kids - these ideas seem so natural now, and I can see this is why I was depressed, but my family and the elders think I'm inmature. I mentioned my thoughts to work where I am for a while then try to get a management position somewhere, and my parents acted like I was talking of being a terrorist.

    It must be so tough not being able to talk with your husband about the deception of the Watchtower, it being something that literally controls every aspect of our lives. I hate being single, but I realise others have harder matters. Though, like you, I go to meetings to please family, often use illness to get out of it (meetings do give me a lot of stress!), but recently I have been pressuring the boss to give me meeting nights to work, while telling the brothers I had no choice and need a job. They just tell me to be humble and clean windows - they are so ignorant about money - I found trying to survive without enough money to be incredibly stressful, but they seem content with such stress; how brainwashed we were!

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