It's been quite a while since I posted here... so HELLO everyboday!
This time of year is always an interesting one for me emotionally. My parents anniversary, which we all know was the one thing anyone ever celebrated, is two days after my birthday. And this October will be 10 years since being DF'd. But even after this long, I still find this time of year difficult as it reminds me of them.
Despite having grown into an amazing person, being happy in life, becoming more spiritual than I ever would have inside the organization... I still find myself with pain over this unmovable barrier between myself and my family. And I resent their inability, or unwillingness, to move around it. Which then makes me feel like a bit of a hypocrite, because neither will I.
My conviction, in the opposite, is just as strong as theirs.
So I find myself in a place where there are amazing things calling to me. A magical path putting steps in front of me one at a time.
But this emotional monkey on my back is wearing me down. And I honestly, am not sure how to effectively shed it.
Therapists have told me to mourn their loss, as if they were dead. I tried that, and I thought it worked... but I think in the end it was more of a distraction than a solution.
Anyone had any luck with this?
I would so very much appreciate some feedback :)