by tyydyy 14 Replies latest jw friends
I was wondering about he differences between men and women.
Could it be that women leave for different reasons than men? Do men tend to leave because of evidence and logic? Do women tend to leave because they were mistreated by the system that holds down women? Or could it be the loss of family? We all come to the same place eventually but what was the reason initially. What was the straw that broke the camels back?
I'm just curious.
TimB
I was much more irritated by the way I saw deserving brothers passed over in favor of some ass kisser and the way an elder could be knocked down and all priviledges taken away just because he exposed what another elder was doing. Also all the stuff that got shoved under the rug when it pertained to relatives of important elders. No, I wouldn't say it was the way the sisters were treated as much as the way I saw what the elders would do to the brothers.
Target
I noticed a great lack of love in the organization. How could they be Jesus' disciples if there was no love among them? After I realized that it was OK to question what I had been taught, I read Crisis Of Conscience by Raymond Franz. Then I was set free.
I think in most cases it is the MISTREATMENT FOR BOTH
men--- can't get appointed - they get the shaft from local elders, etc
women---women well they get the shaft just for being women
not to smart, can't over rule a male child 14 yrs old and baptized-
must listen to the most A$$ Holeness brother in the hall simply cause he is male and baptized
due to these reasons it causes many to RETHINK WHAT THEY WERE TAUGHT
about all the love and kindness esp when they don't see it
at that point you combine all this mistreatment with some GOOFY DOGMAS that have always been lurking in the back of men and women's minds as gooofy you to a recipe for a new APOSTATE
SMILE
Tim,
You are onto something. Not that we should stereotype, but of course there are general trends.
For example, I told my ex gf 'tell your family to "bump off" if they don't like it that we are still friends'.
Well, guess what? We are not still friends. She immediately told me 'hey that's it, you've gone too far, don't talk to me anymore'.
She told me she didn't want to throw away her family. Well, that's not what I said. I simply said to stand up to them...they must accept her.
But she fears they will cut her off.
So she won't be leaving until someone or something hurts her, no doubt. She is not very responsive to logic at this point.
Again, it's not just because of her gender but of course it has played a role.
cellomould
"In other words, your God is the warden of a prison where the only prisoner is your God." Jose Saramago, The Gospel According to Jesus Christ
Interesting question Tim. Personally, I left initially over the mistreatment I and my children received at the hands of the elders. I saw the hypocrisy and just couldn't deal with it anymore. Some of the guys that I've talked to about it, though, left because they had doubts. Reasoning on those doubts led to their departure. This was strange to me when I first started discussing it because I had NEVER entertained any doubts about the truthfulness of the society. It took a huge emotional event to prompt me to hit the door.
Dana
I left for three reasons:
1) FREEDOM
2) FREEDOM
3) FREEDOM
I left because of the hypocrisy and the fact that I was used and abused by one of those bastards!!!!
Two-faced congregation I used to attend.
Yes, women are more emotional and if we don't get justice for a wrong or see justice for someone else wronged, well that generally gets me pissed and I can't stand anyone who cannot sympethise with their fellow man, no matter who he/she may be!
I can see that so far, women tend to make the decision to leave because of personal issues and men because of doctrinal issues. Interesting......
Does this carry over to other decisions in life? Is that why men and women have a hard time agreeing sometimes?
TimB
I dont think you will find any big difference.
Some people leave because their gut instinct tells them that they should be free people.
Other people leave because their logic tells them that they should be free people. Usually, they only listened to that logic after they had been beaten to a point that their gut said "no more! find a way out of this mess".
I've seen plenty of the "pure emotion" males, and "pure logic" female ex's. I don't think it is a sex thing.
