Jehovah doesn't like that

by outsmartthesystem 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • outsmartthesystem

    No matter what the situation children are now on a kick of saying "Jehovah doesn't like that". Birthdays? Jehovah doesn't like that. Monsters? Jehovah doesn't like that. Magic? Jehovah doesn't like that. And now I think I've reached a boiling point. My 3 year old got finished going to the bathroom. I reminded her, "don't forget to flush your turdies". She got a stern look on her face and said "Beehobah doesn't like that word. Mama says we have to call it poop".

    So what is it about the word "poop" that is so much more acceptable to the Great Killing Machine in the Sky than the word "turd"? Answer - Nothing. Personal preference. But she is putting her personal preference off on the children as though it is coming from God. I will not stand for that. But how should I approach it? Should I tell her that it is completely unfair for her to say, unless it is explicitly written in the pages of the bible, what is and is not liked by God? And then make her show me from the pages of the bible where it says that God does or does not like certain things? I think such an approach will get a knee jerk reaction.....but I am starting to no longer care.

    Should I plead with her to put herself in my shoes? What if I started telling them my opinions and passing them off as what God does or does not like?

    This situation will be addressed, I just don't know how yet

  • outsmartthesystem

    To tell the truth.....I don't even want her telling the children "Jehovah doesn't like that".....even if it is explicitly stated in the bible because I think it is part of the indoctrination process (fear) of early childhood. But when she says "why?" "Why don't you want me telling them that Jehovah doesn't like things that you agree are bad?"...........what do I say?

  • snare&racket

    I am unsure of your home situation. Are you a JW? Were you ever a JW?

    I would be straight and honest.

    Sit down with your wife and say I want to discuss the upbringing of our children and what they deem right and wrong. Ask, is it right that you want them to live according to what Jehovah says is right and wrong?

    When she says yes... ask if this is negotiable ?

    Her face at this point will drop in confusion..

    Then ask her if you can explain.....

    Hopefully she will say yes.

    Then get your bible....

    For each relevant verse, first ask your wife " Do you think we should teach our children that slavery/genocide/rape is good or bad?"

    Isaiah 13: 9, 15,16

    1 Samuel 15:2-3

    Exodus 21:7-11

    Leviticus 25:44-46

    Exodus 21:7-11

    Exodus 21:2-6

    Exodus 21:20-21

    Colossians 3:22 Ephesians 6:5 1 Timothy 6:1-2 (Slavery is also not condemned in New Testament)

    Zechariah 14:1-3

    Deuteronomy 13:13-19

    1 Kings 13: 1&2

    Jeremiah 51:20-23

    Jeremiah 11:22-22

    Deuteronomy 20:10-14

    Judges 21:10-24

    Numbers 31:1-54

    Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (relates to rape)

    Deuteronomy 21:10-15

    2 Samuel 12: 13, 14, 18

    2 Kings 2:23-24

    Hosea 9:11-16

    Ezekiel 9:5-7

    Exodus 12:29-30

    Leviticus 26:3,4,9, 18-22

    Joshua 8 : 18-27

    Deuteronomy 22:23-27

    If she says, that this was the old testament, first ask if that changes what Jehovah thought was right and then read the bible verse that says Jehovah never changes. Also note the verses above in the NT.

    Then I would ask if it would be better if you raised your children on what both you and her felt were moral today in 2012, as you do not agree with the actions ordered or commanded by god in the above verses. How can you do this? Well the 'golden rule' of treating others how you want to be treated only works if you ae a good person. Hitlers idea of how to be treated and treat others is not the same as Ghandi's.

    So how about just being a good person, in that you dont hurt or cause harm to others, work hard and and try to contribute to humanity. It is that easy.

    I would 100% do this. I have done this myself with my family, hence I have the list. However.. as sure as I am that you agree with what I am saying, I understand that not everyone would be so straight for fear of reprisal etc. It is difficult with a wife. But for me personally, I could not have my children being brought up on lies and the 'morals' of the bible. No way !

    Mamba x

    All the best mate, I really feel for you.

    Ps..... Also negotiate an agreement that your kids dont say " flush this sh*t" not because Jah-hoo-ha doesnt like it, but because Mummy and Daddy says it is not nice and not allowed to be said in the house. This respects everyone's point of view and still allows rules in the house with authority. If you dont have a problem with them saying "terd" then this is an issue between you and your wife, not the bible.

  • ruderedhead

    That is ridiculous! I hope you will exert your headship, and tell your wife (kindly) that unless she can show you from the Bible where something is wrong, that you do not want her telling your children that Jehovah doesn't like it, when it is actually something SHE does not like. Does she think Jehovah likes it when she does that?

    I feel badly for you in your situation, but your poor kids are going to be messed up for a long time if you do not put a stop to this nonsense now. You know that at their ages, they are like little sponges, absorbing everything, and you and Mom are their authority figures, they think you have all the answers. You must refute the wrong things Mom says, without saying Mom is wrong, but showing/explaining to them why you are telling them something different. Children will listen to reason!

    And please make sure they are spending as little time as possible with jw relatives that will back up Mom's indoctrination, even if it means foregoing somethings you want to do. They will help mess up your kids, and you can't get back the time lost. Easier to stop it now, than try to undo the damage later. Or perhaps have your children shun you later!

    All the best


  • earthfire

    My heart goes out to you. This is a common situation but never easy. The big problem with this is that guilt is already being used to begin control. I mean if you make Jehovah feel bad then you've really done something wrong, if God himself is mad at you then you must be bad and deserving punishment of some kind. Even if it is for a meaningless word. This is where it starts. As their parent you have equal rights in your kids being brought up how "you" see fit too. If they don't want to go to the meeting, say well they can stay home with me. Your wife may be angry but it then will become your kids choice of whether or not they will be JW's in the future. I do like the idea of using the bible scriptures to make your point. If you handle it with love and true concern then your wife won't have a real reason to become angry and you'll have a better chance. I truly hope it goes easier than expected.

  • konceptual99

    Not an easy situation at all but I would concur with the other posters. Even as fully in JWs my wife and I have very very rarely used the "Jehovah doesn't like x" line (I'd love to say never but I would be lying) because we have always thought that you need to base decsions on principles. We have also always thought that that line of reasoning has a very finite shelf life 'cos very soon kids start asking "why". As they get older you will have little or no real control over your kids so they have to be able to base the choices they make on solid principles.

    To me it has always been the mental equivilent of smacking - and that was way before I started on my spiral of questioning!

  • bigmac

    i must be missing something here.

    i thought the man--the husband --is head of the house--whether he's a j-dub or not.

    why not lay down a few rules--see what happens--at the worst--you will soon find out where you stand.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Oh brother!

    With such a youngun, I'd probably make a game of it. I'd constantly ask her if Jehovah likes this or that and treat him like he's an imaginary friend. Does Jehovah like tea? Well, we should pour him some. Does Jehovah like to feed the dog? etc.

  • 00DAD

    OSTS: But she is putting her personal preference off on the children as though it is coming from God.

    Remember: She learned this from the GB. She is simply following their example.

  • 00DAD

    OSTS: But she is putting her personal preference off on the children as though it is coming from God.

    Remember: She learned this from the GB. She is simply following their example.

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