Adventures In Freaking Out My JW Friends

by SophieG 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • SophieG

    *Hi guys! Just sharing this across the forums*

    I drove one of my JW friends crazy. I did it because I wanted to plant a seed. I have a sneaky suspicion I did, because she is a thinker and as much as she will try to not see it, subconsciously I think she will start to notice. She won’t be able to help herself.

    So I started with something benign. Like those “real-life” examples for every time there is an important point the Watchtower wants folks to get. I always questioned those, because they seemed so similar to what we read in newsstand magazines. How can we even verify that these people really exist? She says: the slave does not lie???? Oh boy! I had to get away from that, because she’d flip out.

    I went for the Mind Control techniques next, because I felt like doctrinal issues would be too much. I was trying to show her ways that JWs are controlled without their awareness. For example thought control. You are always told what to think, it’s constantly repeated for emphasis, you can’t have a thought that questions this and if you do, you are a bad servant of Jehovah. I asked her: I thought we were supposed to test the inspired sayings and make sure of what is true? So wait... when I am doing what the bible says I CAN do I am a bad person??? I think her brain somersaulted.

    We kept going back and forth it was weird. Even though she kept trying to get out of the conversation a few times, it was like she could not. Every time she tried the apostate thing I never went there, I kept emphasizing ways of thought control.

    I don’t THINK that as JWs we realize how much we don’t THINK for ourselves until someone brings it to our attention. You are always TOLD WHAT/HOW TO THINK/WHAT TO SAY…. And God forbid you have a doubt…ROOT IT OUT! It’s so controlling and conforming. People SHOULD be asking, WHY can't think for myself???

    But no one sees it till it’s brought to their attention and when it is, IT SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!!! In real life if you doubt something you would investigate! Outside of JW environment you’d say: HUH? But inside the JW world we just take for granted what we are told to think. It’s inconceivable that “the slave” could do something wrong!!!! Least of all try to control us and WHY??? (That’s another wormhole)

    I know what I said was making sense. It’s just that I think it scares her to hear that! Now that I presented that to her will she start to notice all the red flags to look for?

    Last thing she said: I am blocking your number. I think I freaked her out. Another bites the dust!

  • whathappened

    Well I hope she listens to you and takes it to heart.

    Maybe your should tell her to "make it a matter of prayer to Jehovah."

  • out4good3

    What you're saying about total conformity and thought control is spot on.

    Not to long ago, there was a show on that highlighted how the people of North Korea venerated their dear leader so much so that when presented with an idea that contradicted what dear leader said, the people were at a loss of even being able to conceive of the leader being wrong. When presented with the contradictory thought, they had this "deer in the headlights" look that made it appear that that information couldn't even be processed.

    Well, me and my wife got into a long conversation about that and she spoke about how controlled and conditioned they are to accept whatever their leader said as truth and of the overwhelming fear they might have had for their life if they publicly contemplated that the leader might be wrong in the slightest degree. During this conversation, I look for, within her, even the slightest degree that she would see the correlation between how controlled the NOrth Koreans were as a people when compared to being JW.

    She could talk about and was disgusted this type of control in a objective fashion as long as its application was elsewhere, but, as soon as verbal correlation is made towards the soceity, then the same reasoning is just the opinion of opposers and apostates.

    It was really an unnerving thing to watch.

  • SophieG

    Outforgood: That is amazing. That was the exact thing I said to my friend…that she could not see it because she was too close to it. With your wife it’s the same thing, she can recognize it at a distance, see that it is bad/wrong, but even though she is in the SAME situation it would be inconceivable to her!

    I know I did not notice it at first when I was in, but over a period of time, I was REACTING to the control without knowing that was what was happening to me.

    Which leads me to wonder: Are some of us born/trained with an GOOD inherent form of self-control that helps us made good decisions and keeps us out of trouble? And because we already have that, when unrealistic, inappropriate forms of control present themselves, we instinctively start to pay attention and react to them?

    I respond very well to the right type of control…but if I get a sense that I am being controlled when I don’t need to be, I start an inner revolt…next I start to speak up!!!! (YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME)

    (If you guys could have seen my face at some of the meetings when something was said to keep us in line…hilarious!!!)

  • outsmartthesystem

    Sophie - I faded more than a year ago (but am well on my way to being DFd). My initial wake up call happened at a meeting several years ago. A brother was on stage and asked a question. A sister raised her hand and answered something to the affect of "We just need to do whatever the Governing Body says. Even if we think it makes no sense. Even if we are opposed to it.....we must realize that WE are not directed by Jehovah like THEY are. Whatever they say we need to do it and believe it. No questions." The brother on stage commended her and I looked around me and there were 40 heads nodding in approval. My jaw dropped. I was bug-eyed. My heart raced. I broke into a sweat. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

    Yes, most don't even realize they are being controlled. but some (like my wife) do. She admits that her beliefs will change on a whim when she is told to. She admits that she does what the GB says.....period. But she WANTS to do what they say because God wants her to.

  • Fernando

    I wonder how she as a thinker would deal with a request to explain legalism and its exact opposite from her heart?

    (It appears only once in the Wt library, in an article likely written by Ray Franz, which reads like a summary of his book ISOCF)

  • moshe

    I am probably off topic, by I have to share this as I remember it right now--

    I have told this story before-- it's what can happen after you leave the KH. I was known as a rabid apostate (far and wide) and one day I was driving in a neighboring city ( I had moved back to the area after a 5 year absence) and I saw a 60ish sister we had been close to in that old KH and her companion out in field service.

    I had been doing yard work and the rake was in my car. It was autumn and leaves were everywhere. An idea popped into my head, hmm. I pulled around the block ahead of the two sisters and found a house that had lots of leaves and it looked like nobody was home. I parked my car and got my rake out- started raking up the leaves- with my back to the sisters as they walked up to me with a friendly greeting - my hat was pulled down low and I was bent over like Igor - I spun around and gave them a loud, HELLO sister faithful! - She let out a scream and took off running down the sidewalk as fast as she could- the young sister was left standing speechless- she had no idea who I was or what had just happened- finally I told her I was an ex-JW , so she got the idea and made a quick exit, too. I pulled a simliar prank soon after, by pretending I was working on my car in front of vacant house- with the hood up and bent over the engine- same results- when I popped up to greet the JWs (they knew me)--Hello!!- they skeedaddled as fast as they could from the territory- I heard (from an unbelieving sister's husband) that sisters refused to go out in service without a brother- they were all so scared of meeting Igor the apostate--

    I really don't know why ex-Jws get stressed out when they see JWs- believe me, they are the ones who are getting a panic attack- 'cause apostates scare them so much--

  • outsmartthesystem

    "She let out a scream and took off running down the sidewalk as fast as she could"

    This just shows the irrational fear the the GB has put into the minds of JWs. Where is the scripture that says you should be morbidly afraid of ex witnesses?

  • steve2

    The urge JWs experience to flee from ex-JWs is activated in the same part of the primal brain as the urge ex-JWs experience to approach JWs. It's all part of a common urge-based dance among humans: Approach - retreat, approach - retreat, approach - retreat.

  • sseveninches

    You are always told what to think, it’s constantly repeated for emphasis, you can’t have a thought that questions this and if you do, you are a bad servant of Jehovah. I asked her: I thought we were supposed to test the inspired sayings and make sure of what is true? So wait... when I am doing what the bible says I CAN do I am a bad person???

    This thought came to me during a recent meeting, and I couldn't get my mind off of it. It's a pure violation of what the Bible says, but no one can see it.

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