First off a big thanks to everyone here, you have received me with much love and support. I appreciate all that have contributed their time and hardwork over the years here at JWN.
This post here is directed to those who are on the fence like I was. I hope this helps you in some way to understand both the doubts and indoctrination.
I am also currently an active Jehovah’s Witness and have been for almost 20 years (26 years old). I myself have been doing an objective and unbiased personal study within the past year to validate/invalidate my spiritual foundation as a witness. It has taken a lot of courage and at the same time an enormous amount of humility before researching the history and developments of the Watchtower Society.
We all have presuppositions (assumptions). Our presuppositions are organic and change according to data. Our beliefs are based on arguments, points, and the best available evidence. The assumptions I had about the organization came from the trust I had in the Faithful Slave and the arguments presented in the Watchtower publications. I still feel the organization offers many great benefits; the brotherhood network aka (the blood card discount), if you travel and go to another country you can stay at a random brother’s house and feel a sense of comfort knowing you both share the same faith. The fellowship can be clean and enjoyable, IF you avoid the Pharisaical friends. You sense a real respect for spiritual accountability and find many who have a sincere love for Jehovah.
I first began within the publications and worked my way outside of them when defending my witness beliefs against Trinitarians and the mentally diseased :))
It took me down the path of apologetics and I finally worked my way towards reading Ray Franz book's "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom". Before I knew it, the veil was pierced and I was truly awakened with the love and scriptures shown in his writtings. Today I cannot even fathom any form of regret after doing so. I am forever indebted to my doubts, those hypocrites at the kingdom hall, Ray Franz, and God himself for leading me to read these life saving works. Now in hindsight, I really couldn't see how I could have continued living life as a blind JW, not knowing the information found in these books. The saying, "knowledge is power" has become so real to me, I should have it tattooed.
For all those lurking or on the fence, if you haven't already, read "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz. I hope you do read this and see that so many people on this forum are sincere lovers of truth as you are. The intention is certainly not to cause anyone to fall into spiritual turmoil. I hope that many here can attest to my promise that, YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT! You owe it to yourself to validate or invalidate your foundation of faith. Knowing it both backwards and forwards if you choose to remain. Make it your due diligence to find truth where ever it may lead you. I want every one of you ask to yourself, has any Jehovah's Witness ever regretted learning the truth about the truth? Start your objective investigation.