Questions about disfellowshipping and 'non-sanctioned' shunning

by Steve_C 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  blondie

  First, the policies are confused and applied differently by BOEs. Adjustments change from era to era but older elders can and do follow older policies. Any jw can individually choose to decide that an individual is dangerous spiritually and avoid them. They shouldn't broadcast their opinion to others but they do causing others to imitate them, the fruits of gossip.

  It happened in the Bible in the case of David who committed adultery and murder but was not executed under the Law. There was no provision for human judges saying God had forgiven an Israelite, death was the end. It is not possible that David was the only "repentant" Israelite adulterer.

  (James

  2:13) . . .For the one that does not practice mercy will have [his] judgment without mercy.. . .
• 

  Steve_C

  Thanks. I appreciate everyone's comments and experiences. A bit more about what's been happening in my family recently...

  My dear mom, who was still a JW, died last week after being ill for the past several months. I was in the US in January for my oldest daughter's wedding, and the kids and I were able to visit her while she was still lucid. I'm thankful that she treated me normally, and we were able to have a real, loving mother-son connection for our last time together.

  My mom had been living with my sister and her family, who were all pretty much in JW robotic mode with me; it was sad and pathetic. My sister continued to be cold and businesslike whenever she emailed me about Mom's deteriorating condition.

  When I spoke with my sister by phone the day that Mom passed, she finally let down her JW wall and we got to cry and reminisce together. I hadn't seen my sister's non-judgemental humanity in years, and it felt wonderful, just like when we were kids. However, I'm almost sure that after the funeral the shunning will start anew.

  I won't be attending the kingdom hall service, as I don't think I could stomach the memorial talk infomercial, nor the "there's the apostate son" looks I'd be sure to get. The only reason I'd go is to support my sister, but she'll have her family and the entire congregation flocking around her, so I chose to remember Mom in my own way here in in Taiwan.
• 

  jamiebowers

  So sorry for the loss of your mom. It sounds like your sister put her cult shield down on that phone call. It's a shame that it took your mother's passing for her to be able to do so.
• 

  scotsman

  Sounds a familiarly sad story. I'm gay but not dfed or daed, out 10 yrs and when my brother discovered I was gay he said he loved me but could be friends with me and that was that. Occasionally see my mother but won't be attending her funeral for similar reasons to you, plus think I would probably experience more grief over seeing people who cut me out of their lives after 30 yrs than the death of my mother.

  Hope you're not feeling too blue, and it's great you've maintained a relationship with your kids.
• 

  Finkelstein

  Sure this happens all the time, its mostly done by active JWS to elevate there own spiritual righteous identity.

  Coming out and saying your gay is similar liken to saying the JW organization is a corrupt crook full of lies.

  If you are not officially DFed , then certainly devout JWS will socially DF you, when they deem it appropriate toward themselves.
• 

  Steve_C

  Hope you're not feeling too blue, and it's great you've maintained a relationship with your kids.

  Thanks; I'm past the blue period. Since my mom had been sick for awhile, I think I had already mentally prepared myself for her passing.

  I have a great relationship with both my kids and my ex-wife. I wrote a bit more about that here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/social/relationships/229546/1/A-happy-life-for-a-gay-ex-JW#4421320
• 

  Quendi

  First, let me extend my condolences to you, Steve_C for the loss of your mother. I am glad that you had a loving and peaceful talk before she passed away because that gave you some good memories to carry with you. Thanks also for the link you provided as I would be interested in reading your story.

  Quendi