Finding A Brother to Take Special Interest in a Teen May Have Backfired

by OnTheWayOut 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    So my sister-in-law got reinstated a few years back, after more than 15 years out. I thought it was so that her mother could get baptized and not have to worry about shunning her. (That did happen.) But it got clearer that she got reinstated as her son (my nephew) got older so that she could control him as he grew up, trying to keep him from the wrong crowds and from getting some girl pregnant (like how his mother wound up and got disfellowshipped when he was born).

    Around the time he was 14 up to 15, I tried to tell the nephew to wait until he was an adult before he considered baptism. I couldn't really say more, as he would have told my entire in-law family just about anything I would say to him. I thought I might have gotten him to see the wisdom in waiting, but I really wasn't sure what the nephew was going to do.

    In his junior year of high school, his mother found "some brother" to take a special interest in the nephew. I say "some brother" because I know little about him. It was apparent that "some brother" laid it on really thick about the JW's and how it was important to get "in the ark" before Armageddon rained on the world. The JW family was very excited and encouraging when the nephew got baptized early in his senior year of high school. He really felt that he found his place where he belonged.

    So fast forward to just past the nephew's graduation from high school. Everyone in the family (including all the JW's) wants the best for him and tried to help him to weigh and consider his options. They all had high hopes for him to go to college, at least for some kind of trade. I was a bit disappointed that he didn't pursue a football scholarship as he was a big guy. But as a JW, that wasn't going to happen. He had given up on sports about the same time he recieved special attention from "some brother."

    But every last frigging JW is currently very disappointed by his goals. The nephew has been pioneer recruiting for a little while and works some minor job at the mall. He wants to keep doing just that- pioneer recruiting and working at the mall part-time, and put in his Bethel application then serve at Bethel for the rest of "this system."

    Oh, the long-time JW's know that's a bad idea. But that's the kind of stuff he was fed by the special attention from "some brother." "The end is near." "There's nothing finer than serving Jehovah fully while you have the youthful energy." Blah blah blah. The very people who were so thrilled don't understand what happened. While it's so sad for the nephew, I hope it wakes some of them up.

    I told my wife she has to get through to him that Bethel isn't hiring. The printing is going to Canada and the buildings are being sold and they have more Bethelites than they need. She comes back with the response that she knows of someone who recently got called to Bethel. "Okay, fine. An occasional brother is called. But you know they have been sending people home for quite awhile. They are likely to use the nephew for 5 to 10 years if he was one of the tiny few that gets in, then send him packing just like the rest- without a future and with a bunch of wasted years."

    She knew I was right and didn't argue. I probably will hear very little of the details on what they will do, but I will be listening.

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Going to Bethel may be just what he needs. He will see all the cultlike activities and it may wake him up. I know many brothers who went to Bethel and are now out of the org. I know one sister who is very hurt by being turned out after years and years of service at Bethel. She was given a pink slip and had to go home and find a real job. A very eye opening experience.

    I hope your nephew doesn't get called, of course. Hopefully he will come to his senses before that.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I have similar thoughts. I hope he doesn't go but I see how this can speed up a potential exit. Still, he would be better off going to school before his dreams don't come true.

  • Diest
    Diest

    Id rather someone go to bethel than work a shit job at the mall. At least bethel sounds cool on a reseme to someoen that doesnt know.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I think getting a computer programming job that requires missing all the boasting sessions, involves celebrating pagan holidays, and pays something on the order of 900 toilet papers an hour would be the ultimate. They don't like the idea of getting a reasonable job--so get one that is going to give the witlesses nothing. And donate nothing of that to the witlesses--I recommend that, if you have material excess because of your work, you buy gold and silver and keep both. When hyperinflation hits, you will be glad you did while the witlesses are going to be scrambling for their next meal.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Thanks for your unusual take, Diest. I think the family hopes he takes advantage of his youth and the willingness of others to help and doesn't settle for the "shit job" and waiting to get into Bethel, but goes to college. Of course, that flies in the face of what WTS teaches.

    WTW, sure. Sounds great.

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I feel so sorry for him though I was just like him when I was his age.

    I wanted to go to Bethel so bad. I visited when I was 19 years old and I loved it. Being a sister it was something I thought would never happen, but then my husband and I both got in with the temporary construction program while they were building 90 Sands.

    I was 28 years old when we went and to tell you the truth I loved a huge amount of Bethel. It beat the heck out of ridding around in a over crowded car for 8 to 10 hours a day with people who hate you. Pioneering I was working 30 plus hours a week at low paying jobs struggling just to survive while my husband hardly worked so he could be the only elder in the hall. We did not have a marriage but the CO told me not to worry that I could have my husband in the new system as Jehovah was using him now I stupidly bought all the crap. So at Bethel even though I worked 5 and a half days a week and all day Sunday was taken up with the meetings and field service I still had more time, more time for myself and as a couple for the first time in my marriage I had a husband.

    The huge problem is the pecking order of things. I saw new boys treated like dirt by some of the old timers. One brother in the hall we went to was bullied horribly in the laundry department. There was hazing where I worked though they would never call it hazing.

    There was so much meanness and hatefulness. I was sick seeing it all. I truly when I was there bought into it all. I in my heart of hearts thought it was the "truth" the true religion. I would not have been at Bethel if I did not believe it, I am just not that kind of person who could fake things. I just could not understand and wrap my mind around what I was seeing.

    Our fist table assignment was a couple who were in their mid 40's. He had came in when he was 19 years old and married his wife when he was early 20's. Bethel was all he knew. I will never forget my first week at Bethel and how they both seemed to HATE BETHEL! I was shocked. They made discouraging, hateful remarks about life at Bethel. It was like they were trapped. I just could not wrap my mind around what I was seeing.

    I know where I live they just downsized out one of the couples that where there when we were. I thought they were old when I was there and here almost 20 years latter they were kicked out. Bethel was all they knew, rumor had it the husband gave up a very promising career to go to Bethel. They have to be in the mid 70's. Now they are out of the only home they ever truly knew living about 70 miles from where I am.

    Truly the best thing that could happen to your nephew is that he gets assigned to a job where they bully him and he get hazed in such away that it wakes him up.

    I am truly sorry because it is such a shame and a huge waste of his young life.

    LITS

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Thanks for your input, LITS. I would love for the nephew to bump into former Bethelites. But I really can't arrange it.

    Sending anyone past retirement age home (and really anyone who put in more than 5 years) just because they are watching the bottom line and don't want to take care of them should be considered a crime.

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