"we need to help that brother"

by TimeBandit 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TimeBandit
    TimeBandit

    At the last District Convention I went to (2010) I was sitting in my seat during the lunch break. I was listening to two brothers sitting together chatting in the row in front of me. They were talking about brother 'so and so'. They discussed how they might encourage him and personally help him out spiritually. One said to the other "We need to help that brother". It was really a very heartwarming conversation.

    Then I got to thinking about my own spirituality. How I was getting less and less time in service. How discouraged I was because despite all my attempts, no one ever seemed to notice how poorly I was doing. I got to wondering why no one ever got together like that for my benefit. How come I'm not doing very well, am very discouraged, and no one noticed that and takes ME under their wing.

    At first, I was happy to have heard their chat, but then I was really depressed and sad that no one ever tried to help me like that. One of the things that led me to leave the JWs was the lack of love and interest toward me. On the other hand, if I hadn't been ignored and neglected I would probably still be trapped in a cult with no future. So even though I was discouraged and depressed about it, those emotions were worth what I have now: freedom.

    Chris-

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Just like a dubious parent, the JWs tend to pay you the most attention if you've done something wrong. And then that's only to spank you. Gotta love 'em.

    --sd-7

  • Emery
    Emery

    I've learned that there are some sincere loving witnesses in the organization. Some do their best to be examples and demonstrate christian love but sadly they are few and far between.

  • puffthedragon
    puffthedragon

    Time bandit, dont feel so bad. When I began my fade, all I got was unencouraging text messages from an elder in my hall.

    tIme 4 may?

    need time NOW!

    time?

    we are hre 4 u if you need to talk

    I literally went 7 months where all the texts from him, once a month were asking for time. the answer was always zero. I finally texted him back and told him that I promised if I got time to turn in, I would not forget and he did not need to keep texting me.

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    I've learned that there are some sincere loving witnesses in the organization. Some do their best to be examples and demonstrate christian love but sadly they are few and far between.

    Agreed.

    --sd-7

  • TimeBandit
    TimeBandit

    As an ex-jw, I have had more support and kindness from other ex-jws than I received from jws in nearly 30 years in the cult. Yeah, I did know a few truly loving/caring jws, but they were few and far between like stated above. I've had a rough trip leaving the Jws, but my life is better now than ever before.

    Thanks for the support. Thanks for this forum.

    Chris-

  • EmptyInside
    EmptyInside

    I feel the same way TmeBandit.

    Early in my fade,I did confide in my best friend about my doubts. She hardly speaks to me now,not even by e-mail. I thought she would try to encourage me,but she has already given up on me. I didn't go into specifics as to what my doubts were,and in no way tried to discouage her.

    And I'm pretty much invisible to my congregation. It's rather perplexing,but at the same time,I'm relieved. There is no need trying to explain my reasons for no longer attending meetings.

    I appreciate this forum too,and other ex-Witnesses. This is the only place I can be open and be myself.

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    tIme 4 may?

    need time NOW!

    time?

    we are hre 4 u if you need to talk

    Now there's some high-powered Christianity in action!

  • pontoon
    pontoon

    Talk is cheap. Brothers most likely did talk about helping you, but following up and doing it is lacking. My old cong was quite spiritual, at elder meetings we were always identifying who needed help and making assignments to do so. Usually what would happen is the elder would contact that person at the last minute, a day or two before the next elder's meeting just so he would be able to say he carried out his assignment, if at all. Probably the same in most areas.

  • witchtowerwitch
    witchtowerwitch

    their are clicks in there.Their is NO LOVE AT ALL.I was in the borg for 40 years,so i know what i'm talking about!The only ones that ever get any attention,are the suck a$$es ok,but if your a strong willed person,they will never notice you,in fact they will try to get you out of the hall.No invites to jw house parties,no encouragement to anything accept to give money or bust your a$$ building halls,or running around doing hard work for everyone else in there ok!If you had a problem,or were a sinner,then you got shown the door!The witchtower is narcissistic,and so are all of the elders and rank and file,it's part of their fxxked up thinking.Oh well everything will be fixed in the new order,yeah right!

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