OK, things are about to get messy....

by uk_ex_jw 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    I think if an elder was calling my mother like that, I would get his phone number and begin calling him several times every day and night to let him know that my mother has no interest in receiving any phone calls from him.

    ...But then, I got that kinda attitude from my mom, so I don't think she'd need any help from me.

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    Return his calls at 2-3 AM. Leave a message on the machine. Hi, this is Sister ___ I am returning your calls. Dear brother i am really not interested in seeing you alone, as it would be unseemly. Please don't pester me any more. You have a lovely wife.' Hang up.

    Repeat 2x times.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    DO NOT -------repeat---------DO NOT put ANYTHING of an apostate nature in writing to your friend or anyone else if you want to continue on a "fade".

    It will come back to bite you in the ass. A friend can easily convince themself that they are doing it for your own good.

    Get caller ID and ignore this elder's calls.

    Tell him that because of his RUDENESS he is not welcome in her home nor do you want calls from him.

    DOC

  • uk_ex_jw
    uk_ex_jw

    Thankyou for all of the comments.

    Let me give you all an idea of this Elder's reputation. I shall call him Elder D.

    He walks around the KH like a soldier, tall, and very loud - to the point of where he wouldn't need a microphone.

    Many years ago, it came to light that Elder D had 'stumbled' a 15-year-old girl out of the congregation. At the Sunday meeting, he waited for her to arrive with some of her friends to attend their meeting (the neighbouring congregation) and tore a strip off her in the foyer, in front of everybody. She said she wouldn't attend another meeting after that, and she didn't.

    Following this, he went from strength to strength. Despite claims from various members of the congregation regarding his conduct, he continued as an Elder.

    On one occasion, Elder D and his son offered to clean windows for a sister in the congregation. Whilst on his ladders, he spotted that the daughter - an unbaptised publisher, had posters of pop stars/pop bands etc on her wall.

    Once again, Elder D verbally attacked this young girl at the KH in front of everyone. She never returned after that.

    On another occasion, an unbaptised publisher was paired with Elder D as part of the Pioneer/Publisher arrangement. You know what is coming next; Yes, the UP made allegations of verbal abuse and intimidation from Elder D.

    He continued to harrass the young lad after that, driving him almost to a nervous breakdown. He was calling him, writing him letters - continuing the intimidation. Eventually, this guy left home and moved 200 miles away.

    On another occasion, a different Elder found out that his step-daughter had told one of the younger brothers, who she was courting, that she had taken drugs.

    He told Elder D, and he started going after this guy - hammering on his door, phoning him constantly, day and night. Eventually, he moved out of his studio flat and moved in with another JW couple as he couldn't take it anymore.

    Those are just some of the examples of his behaviour. He is still an Elder to this day.

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    Somebody needs to take Elder D down a few notches.

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    okage, I respectfully disagree. Telling a nosy elder to leave you alone is not apostasy. If that elder can get someone to lie and make false accusations of apostasy based on that, then I guess you can't stop. Look what the Pharisees did to Jesus!

    I have become thoroughly convinced that the JW Judicial Process is completely based on the model that Jewish religious leaders used against Jesus.

    See this thread:

    Judicial Hearing Procedures of Jehovah's Witnesses are Bible Based

  • sf
    sf

    One particular Elder - imagine, the Hitler-type Elder who makes it his business to organise and dictate everyone's lives. If you do not comply, he will make it his own mission to destroy your reputation and drive you out of the congregation.

    OUTLAW, please, may I insert mutley here?

    OR YOU CAN DO IT!!

    ITS TRULY A VERY "MUTLEY-MOMENT"(sKallys trademark now)

    F-alse

    E-vidence

    A-ppearing

    R-eal

    sKally, who implores un ex to tell mom to please relax...the wt boogeyman isn't really all that scary...it only APPEARS that way

  • nugget
    nugget

    The man is a monster and meeting with him merely is another opportunity for him to inflate his ego at someone else's expense. I would send a letter to the congregation stating that his constant calls to your mother are becoming harassment, she is concerned that she is being stalked by a man and is considering legal action against him. If the congregation does not force him to desist then she will also hold the body of elders liable and take action against them as well. If she has a need to discuss her spirituality with them she will contact them.

    If he calls state that as he has ignored her request to stop calling his behaviour is harassment which is a criminal offence in th uk. His calls are now being recorded and it is now a police matter. put the phone straight down. Your mother should make a note of every occasion he has called.

  • bigmac
    bigmac

    hi uk_ex_jw have we met on FB?--heres some more uk ex's---

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/197364/1/ex-jw-uk

  • okage
    okage

    @00DAD: I never said it would be considered apostacy. In my education of Elder behavior, based on numerous accounts on and off JWN, this Elder in question seems like a power obsessed asshole (pardon my german). And from numerous accounts, Elder's like him don't like being rejected. He has probably been an asshole all his life and when the Organization told him the Holy Spirit selected him to be an Elder, it just encouraged his behavior as Jehovah Approved.

    This Elder D will pry into every facet of their lives until he can find something to use against them. He seems to enjoy public humiliation as a means of flaunting himself, so it's not a stretch that if he can conjour rumors of apostacy, he'll make every effort to publicize it to the rest of the congregation. Until they are ready to leave on their own terms, it's best to distance themselves from Elder D.

    If he was a passive or mildly persistent Elder then I would wholeheartedly agree with your methods @00DAD, but he is an anal retentive fear monger who has the position to destroy their relationships in the congregation by putting up that thought-stopping hate-trigger called "apostate." Many JWs and exJWs here know all too well that the judicial committee doesn't need to be formed to incite fear and paranoia. A loose accusation of apostacy floated around the congregation gossipers is all it would take.

    @uk_ex_jw: it's harassment. She needs to tell him to stop calling, that she will speak with him when she has time, but mention that he's made her uncomfortable with all his persistent attempts to reach her. Then she needs to file a police report so that his next attempt to reach her will be considered harassment. This should give her the ability to get a restraining order, and since he is a figure that can ruin her reputation, his harassment can merit a gag order, or whatever it's called over there.

    Should give you your opening to leave on your terms without Elder interference.

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