Hi all I'm new to this, I joined because from what I can see this is the best ex JW forum out there.
Anyway I'm male, 20, live in UK and left the WTBTS after 2 years of being a student.
There was this girl called Natalya and she has really took me on one hell of a ride. She was very helpful in my exit, because she often had debates with me and tried again and again to help me see sense. Well, she did, although I did much of this myself. Anyway we dated before I found the ‘truth’ and to be honest, I never really stopped having these feelings for her even though we fell out a few times. Last year when I was still in the sect we used to play pool (billiards) together at the pub and people made observations that we would be very good together etc, and would possibly get married. Well I confessed my feelings for her earlier in December and she claimed she feels the same way, but we agreed that we have very different values and that it couldn’t possibly work out. Well, next week we had an argument about something silly and she then said she only told me she feels the same way to spare my feelings. Yes, I was gutted alright.
Fast forward a month and we’re talking again, and she accompanies me to a meeting. Great! I thought. We could be baptised together then get married. It wasn’t to be, she went to only two meetings and quit. Fast forward even further and I’ve left the borg. Now she wants to see me every day to the extent that she even used to phone me up to beg me to come meet her and walk inconvenient distances to see her. Nine times out of ten I put my foot down and said no. Well, it was her birthday two days ago and got her quite an expensive present (for someone with only a part time job). She begs me to go to a house party, I go..but it didn;t really go well and we hardly connected, she got on much better with another guy who was a bit more confident than I am.
The next day Natalya and I, as well as the other people who went bowling including another lad whom I’d been introduced to before went ten pin bowling. Natalya and I connected quite well this time, but not as well as her and the other guy, so I began to realise at this point that its pretty much game over. This analogy was confirmed when my new friend, ‘Cedric’ told me that Natalya and that new mystery guy slept in the same bed last night. DAMN! And to cop it all of she ignored my message asking if she liked her present the next day. I don’t think she did because it was a cup with a message telling her she’s gorgeous. I only wanted to make her feel special! Oh and it gets worse, she didn’t even thank me. The hope of a relationship with her, and possibly the friendship is over.
The reason I think she screwed me over is because she had me wrapped round her little finger, right? So what can I do? I’m so confused, depressed and feeling almost suicidal. I just can’t believe this could happen to me.. I had relationships before all of this and I will admit, a couple of them were something special. But this..this was the big one. I’d never quite felt this way before, it was a more intense kind of love.
Anyhow, sorry to bore you all, but I was wondering if any of you had any suggestions, because I think some of you may have been through something similar?
All suggestions and comments welcome.
Thank you all!