Do JWs treat women like second-class citizens, like their husbands' property?

by matt2414 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  LongHairGal

  matt2414:

  Well, of course they do. Naturally, the attitude varies from place to place and some married women there get on well with the brothers and they don't feel that attitude as much, but it is still there.

  However, if you are a single woman like I am, you are in another category entirely. I was not raised in the religion but came in as a young adult with an education and a job. They didn't know how to relate to me. I got "fear", "intimidation", "hostility", "contempt" or some variation of these from certain men there. I did well with elderly couples I suppose because they lived long enough to see the bigger picture and I did well with a few single moms or divorcees. Anybody who knew what it was like to go out and support themselves treated me well. The problems I had basically stemmed from born-ins who did not have a clue how the real world worked and certain retirees who forgot what it was like to go to work and seemed to have developed selective memory loss.

  wha happened:

  Interesting what you mentioned about that brother who said about the women: "where are they going to go. We're it." Well, I'll tell you where I went: I looked outside the religion for men to date! I saw what was around in the hall and there was nobody for a woman who was over 35 and had a brain in her head.

  I saw the attitude of guys like what you mentioned. Some were lucky they had $20 dollars in their pocket and they weren't much to look at but some sister eventually settled for them. I wasn't one of those women.
• 

  blondie

  In the bible women consider their husbands their husbandly "owner.

  Men who had sex with married or engaged women were put to death because they were some man's property. If the women was single, he had to pay the father 30 pieces of silver but he was not put to death because she was not owned.

  Women could not inherit property because they were property and they became the property of the male family member that inherited the husband's possessions.
• 

  glenster

  This is one of at least several issues I'd recommend the progressive/reform
  end of the scale for. The JWs leaders as usual aren't there.
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complementarianism
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_feminism
• 

  sd-7

  Yes. Just ask Selma. She'll tell you, once she's done sweeping her teeth off the floor...that'll teach her to 'make a point'...

  It was true in my judicial committee two years ago--the elders didn't speak to my wife without me being present. But they were sure to send her out for my committee.

  Women are usually the smart ones in JW congregations, and usually the more likely to help somebody out. A shame they can't be elders...You know, one thing about what Paul wrote was "I do not permit a woman to speak in the congregation." He said "I", not God. That was his personal opinion. He probably had no idea his letters would be considered scripture one day. Clearly, women received holy spirit same as men, so...that said, surely God didn't expect women to simply keep silent when the spirit was with them.

  My wife did once say to me that she had a 'good owner'. I know it was a scriptural reference, but it still kind of weirded me out. Adults are equals, period. Screw any Biblical reasoning around that. Anything that violates the right of a human to equal treatment is wrong. Considering all that, no wonder so many JW women are depressed and screwed up. A shame...

  --sd-7
• 

  Giordano

  It makes perfect sense when you remember this is a 19th century religion that got it's start when women couldn't vote and had few 'rights'.

  The WTBTS hasn't changed it's view point.
• 

  Magwitch

  The way my elder husband treated me for 20 years was very similar to how Afghan men treat their wives. I just wanted basic human rights like being able to have my witness parents visit or be able to visit them. I was his property and he was not going to share me with anyone.

  It makes me ill that when I reached out for help (twice in 20 years) to an elder about my husbands headship being unbearable, I was squashed like a bug. It was the good ol boys club and I was a woman.
• 

  LongHairGal

  matt2414:

  You are right. Why would women seek out Jesus'

  company if he were a male chauvinist pig??? This, in and of itself, shows that the JW religion does not follow the new testament but conveniently ignores it and sticks to the old testament with its bloodthirsty, cruel god. Nothing but a brutal history of wars, concubines, rape, slavery, blood sacrifices. Yuck.

  sd-7:

  You are right that many JW women are depressed and I am glad I never had a "husbandly" head there. I wasn't having any of their abuse!
• 

  Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

  Um, how can you be second class when you aren't really concidered a citizen in the first place?
• 

  Jim_TX

  LongHailGal said: Interesting what you mentioned about that brother who said about the women: "where are they going to go. We're it." tell you where I went: I looked outside the religion for men to date! I saw what was around in the hall and there was nobody for a woman who was over 35 and had a brain in her head.

  I saw the attitude of guys like what you mentioned. Some were lucky they had $20 dollars in their pocket and they weren't much to look at but some sister eventually settled for them. I wasn't one of those women.

  Ouch! That stings. I was one of them fellers trying to get a young JW-gal interested in me, with no success.

  I remember several of the young gals who looked outside, and the next thing everyone knew, they were 'publicly reproved' or somesuch. Soon after, they were pregnant, and after that, they were married to the fellers that they found outside. No big deal, I suppose. They had to do what they had to do.

  I guess I have to agree that I wasn't that much of a 'catch'. I was an awkward, single, poorly paid, young fella and had very few skills in the dating scene.

  I finally gave up on trying to get one JW-gal interested, and found myself a non-JW gal. Well, then this JW-gal comes back. Turns out, she was trying to score a JW-fella that had gone off to Bethel. (I think that she was trying to marry 'up' in the borg.) He pretty much turned her down cold (and eventually married some other JW-gal), so that left her... boyfriendless - and no prospects, since I had quit bothering her and found someone else.

  Well, long story short - I wound up marrying the JW-gal, and shouldn't have.

  Anyway - to address the original topic - I never did mistreat - my JW-wife. She was an equal. Well, until later when she got all uppity and started treating me like crap, since she was all JW-holy, and I wasn't a JW anymore.

  Divorce-time. (cue Hammer Time... nah nah nah nah nah ... you can't touch this...)

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  LongHairGal

  Jim-TX:

  Sorry if that stings, but if you were a woman in that religion you would have been far more insulted. Believe me.

  I never thought all JW guys were bad it is just that most of them were too young for me (I was in an awkward age range). The few older guys that were left over around the circuit were either totally undesirable or were playing games. So, I looked outside the religion.