Scriptural v legal divorce

by Inisc 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Inisc

    Hi everyone, this is sort of a long story but I'll try to keep it short.

    Mrs Inisc was previously married, and before our wedding the elders were giving us a bit of a hard time as her divorce was nigh on complete but just wasn't officially finished, however what they were really concerned about was they weren't sure her ex husband had had "relations" as they like to say,as there wasn't enough satisfactory evidence in their opinion. This of course made me almost catatonic with rage, especially since we hadn't been to a meeting in about 6 f'ing months and this was what they were worried about. And I might add the wedding was entirely booked!

    And now I have just learned that a sister who is widowed has been df, for not stopping contact with a brother who is separated from his wife. Now they have been seeing each other for a while and they are both scripturaly free to remarry. Her as she is a widow, and him as his wife had an affair and he moved out quite some time ago. The divorce proceedings are ongoing and will be finalised in a few months.

    So what is it that the elders want?

    They ain't happy if you are legally divorced as this doesn't count in gods eyes apparently,

    And they ain't happy if your scripturaly divorced but the legal side isn't finished yet.

    Either way it seems they just don't want anyone to find happiness and would rather everyone stayed either in an unhappy marriage or stayed single.

    What gives?

  • solomon

    Either way it seems they just don't want anyone to find happiness and would rather everyone stayed either in an unhappy marriage or stayed single.

    that pretty much sums it up!

  • Iamallcool

    control is the name of their fucking game!

  • clearpoison

    1. Cho 6:12


  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    Yea I went through a scenario where I was scriptually free, but not legally yet. The elders gave us some heat because word got around, that wifey and I had the hots for each other.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    What gives?

    Ask them. Don't let them get away with loopy logic. Make them squirm. Make they pay the price for membership and for being Elders. Don't let them sleep at night.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I just lied about it. In fact, the now ex elder I lied to is on this board lol

  • yourmomma

    Either way it seems they just don't want anyone to find happiness and would rather everyone stayed either in an unhappy marriage or stayed single.

    ding ding ding ding ding!!!! that is the correct answer.

    in my first hall there was a couple who was new in the congregation, they had been married for a few years. the elders decided to inquire about the details of the marriage and when they found out the husband had previously been married. they demanded he provide evidence he was scriptually free, even though in his previous congregation the marriage was approved by that elder body. so he got his ex wife to put in a letter he was scriptually free, and they would not accept it. it was friggin insane. so they DF'd him, and reproved the wife. it was an absolute outrage.

    its all about control, and obeying whatever the elders tell you, no matter how wrong.

  • nugget

    It's all about the elders concerned and whether they need to feel the power. The experiences cited are outrageous and since no sin had been commited the sanctions were unnecessary. However it is hoped that these experiences help some to question why they allow these petty men to intrude into their lives.

  • mamalove

    Please go and read me last couple of threads. They deal with this subject.

    To comment on your post, these are their man-made rules. There are oh so many loop-holes, and principles that certain elder bodies interpret in different ways. It sounds like the elder body where you were associated with are kind of annoyed that you are making wedding plans when the ink isn't dry on the divorce papers. They tend to bristle at that, and also, that you are not going to meetings anymore.

    They will find any opportunity to try and flex their "authority."

    They absolutely want proof that you both have "grounds" to be remarried. They want either a confession from the person who had sex, pictures indicating hanky panky, or they will camp out and invent evidence to their satisfaction so they can sleep at night knowing that the other made did in fact, well more than likely have sex.

    Legally is all that matters. Don't let what people make up influence yourself.

Share this