If you are dating or married to a JW: A few questions

by Lady Lee 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • ABibleStudent

    Lady Lee - Robert it sounds like you got out before you wound up trapped in a marriage with a JW. Good for you.

    Hi Lady Lee, I was never in any danger of marrying a JW. My former friend was "spiritually strong" (i.e., mind-controlled) JW, so dating and marrying me was never a possibility without me being a JW. I am a Christian, so becoming a JW was never a possibility.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • dinah

    I grew up in a "divided home" If I can help, Lee, let me know.

  • ilikecheese

    1. What have been the biggest surprises or problems you have faced regarding your relationship and the impact the JW beliefs have had on you?
    2. How have you dealt with religious issues in the home?
    3. How have you been treated because you never were a JW and refused to become one?
    4. What information would you want therapists to know about your situation?
    5. Any other thoughts?

    1. To start off, I've been dating an unbaptized member for a few years; he's a critical thinking JW to some extent who just feels that they're the best option. When we first started getting serious, he started trying to push his beliefs on me. Not in a really crazy obvious way, but he started with dropping hints, then he started putting a little bit of pressure on me, and then he actually broke up with me once because of it. However, I have not one iota of interest in getting involved and I find their beliefs on other Christians to be offensive. (I know more about The Bible than he does, yet I'm some sort of "fake" believer? Apart from Mormons and crazy fringe groups, most Christians consider all other Christians to be "Christian." It's okay to have different viewpoints!) Also, I am so not a fundie, so I find some of the things he believes to be a little over the top. Anyway, as a result of all of this, we've both sort of accepted that we won't end up getting married. His mom became a JW when he was a kid, and his parents ended up getting divorced largely due to that. Based on his family's experience and what I've read on here, I don't want to be another JW mixed marriage statistic.

    2. N/A, since we're just dating.

    3. He won't marry me. All he comes back to is "marry only in the lord." It's okay, though, because at this point, I won't marry him unless he changes his mind on being a JW.

    4. Any time I get through to him to any extent about why the JWs are wrong, he'll just come back to how "bad/evil" all other groups are and how no one compares to the JWs. His only other experience is Catholicism in his youth, so he hardly knows anything else. They obviously inundate them with these ideas that they're the only good people and that the beliefs of any other religion, especially other Christian denominations, are all blasphemous and terrible. He was telling me this story about how his mom went to her nephew's Catholic wedding or something and people were bowing to the crucifix. She freaked out on her sister about how bad and idolatrous it all was. They ended up being pissed at each other for quite a while after that. This religion obviously drives wedges between JW and non-JW family members and friends. It's pretty sad.

    5. People need to be aware of how controlled this religion is, how they deliberately drive wedges between members and non members, and how much hate speech they have.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Thank you Ilikecheese

    yes the religion will drive a wedge between JWs and anyone else. They can't tolerate the possibility that a JW might begin to see the huge faults within the JWs. So they drive the wedges even deeper.

    dinah I see you found the other thread

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Thanks also to those who have also contacted me via PM

  • celticdog2569

    my wife and I fell away for a few years but she went back when she became pregnant.I saw the change in her when she went back just full of fear and anxious to the point of taking antidepressants now.She cant believe I dont believe in it anymore and of course she drags my daughter to the hall.It is a bone of contention with us now.

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