Not disfellowshipped, not shunned by JWs, but my Bro's Family? That's a whole different story...

by stuckinlimbo 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mamalove

    I am so sorry you had to go through this. Don't beat yourself up if you did not use the ideal words. You got your point across. I have to imagine, deep down they have to be bothered. There is nothing you can do to change them unless there is a tear or a hole in their psyche to be open to living otherwise. Majority rules in big families like that. Stand your ground, you are giving your children the gift of not being brainwashed.

  • ziddina

    Stuck in Limbo, your opening post wasn't rambling at all. I found it cohesive and fairly easy to understand.

    And the excellent advice you've received!!

    I especially liked what Sapphy, Gayle, and Flipper said about being "there" for your df'd niece who has been cut off from the rest of the family. Between your growing family and her young romance - and future children - you all have the opportunity to build a new, loving family that is - as MamaLove said, "giving your children the gift of not being brainwashed"...

    Unlike your OTHER nieces...

    As several have suggested [OnTheWayOut, ABibleStudent], Steve Hassan's books are filled with good advice on how to thwart the "cultthink" in subtle and effective ways.

    I also liked ssn587's suggestion, that you could have spoken out very loudly and let the rest of the diners realize just what Jehovah's Witnesses are REALLY like, especially regarding their shunning edicts. But that can wait until after you've had your baby - don't want to stress you while you're pregnant!

    Just wait until those little brats - er, your two JW nieces - who snubbed you in the restaurant, want to go away to college. Depending on which way the Watchtower Corporation is blowing on that day, they'll either be viewed as "spiritually weak" or "suspect", or Daddy may be asked to "step down" if they persist in obtaining "worldly" educations...

    Or they'll end up as poorly-educated pioneers with under-employed or under-paid brothers for husbands...

    I'm a firm believer in that more recent adage, "Just as time heals all wounds, so also time wounds all heels..."

    They'll have a comeuppance - or an awakening - someday - perhaps very soon.

    And then you will have the opportunity to be far more gracious towards THEM, than they ever were towards YOU.

  • stuckinlimbo

    It's about 7 months late but thank you to all of you who replied to this post for your responses. I did read them all and thought I had responded at them time but obviously I didn't . Thankfully my oldest niece is a strong girl and is doing well without her family, although it is still hurtful of course. I have actually read most of combatting cult mind control, but feel that in my family, the cult personality and the natural personality are so intertwined it is hard to define one without the other. We'll I'm fairly certain that's the case with my parents anyway .

    Making a scene would have been bad for me emotionally and physically, most likely for my bub as well, who by the way is a very healthy, happy 6month old with a voracious appetite at the moment! Also embarassing for us businesswise, but most importantly, would mark me as an apostate and likely lead to an official announcement, which is what I don't want if I want to maintain contact with my parents for my children's sake. They are good grandparents to them and I do like to give my parents that joy as well as my kids.

    Thanks again for all your thoughts. You really helped at the time because I don't feel so alone with this .

  • stuckinlimbo

    Oh and yes my niece and I get on very well and I hope I have been a good help to her!

  • stuckinlimbo

    Oh and yes my niece and I get on very well and I hope I have been a good help to her!

  • stuckinlimbo

    And I will check out that second Hassan book again too. Thanks

  • PaintedToeNail

    Stuck-thanks for the nice update on you and your healthy baby and happy niece.

  • flipper

    STUCKINLIMBO- A big congratulations to you on your new baby since this thread was made ! Wonderful news ! I'm glad you are being there for your niece as well to deal with the crazy JW relatives and their shunning. I experience this shunning myself as does my 27 yr.old adult son and we are a support to one another as well. Hang in there my friend, time will tell. Just be patient. Try to keep the peace as best you can. Take care. Peace out, mr. Flipper

  • 00DAD

    SIL, congrats on your new baby. It sounds like your a terrific aunt and your parents are at least responding well too.

    You wrote: ... the sum total of it was her accepting the society explanation of the UN NGO thing.

    When did the WTBTS ever offer anything approaching an official "explanation" of that? I missed it. Please share!


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