It does feel good not to be constantly looking over your shoulder ,isn't it ??!!! Glad you are feeling more grounded in 'real' life w/o the fear of Elders we had ingrained into us as JWs.
Last week I ran into an old JW friend (from 20 some yrs ago ). He has lived away from this area for over 20 yrs now so I was very surprised to bump into him at the local grocery store . I immediatly went up to him and said hello and starting asking about his life and such .....he said hello bavk then suddenly dropped his head and said he was Df'd .....(as if this should have ended our conversation ) he even quickly looked around the store as if someone might catch him .SO SAD ,my goodness we are both in our 50 's !!!! How childish to be this old and still allowing other dictate our lives .argh
He told me he was trying to get his life back on track and was staying with his JW Mom (who lives just down the street from me ) . I guess he didn't know how unactive and out my husband and I are (I am sure his Mom informed him afterwards) I just kept on talking and had a nice conversation with him for a few minutes . Hope he finds what he is looking for ,but somewhat sad for him because I know he is caught in that vicious cycle of not really fitting in , feeling guilty ,and wanting to be accepted by his JW family .
It felt good to just be just normal ,and real with him ,not judgemental and standoffish like it was when i was a JW ,and felt I had to uphold shunning rules.