As witnesses did we ever have a normal family life?

by nugget 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  nugget

  Nambo it was interesting to see your take on things. I can't say that as a witness I ever experienced the giddy partyinging and socialising that you describe since a lot of congregations have in groups who socialise together and out groups who are rarely invited. High levels of social contact are actually discouraged and over the years approved social events have been reduced down and usually include some element of service. Some children grow up socially awkward because they have a very restricted life. Witneses are like all groups in as much as there is a variety of experiences.

  Charlie Brown Jr so sorry that you are experiencing shunning. You did what you thought was best at the time and trusted the wrong people. Hopefully as your children share your genes they may realise the futility of what they are doing eventually.

  Disillusioned Lost Lamb I agree witnesses have to sign post things because if they didn't people would realise they were being duped. They have to say they are the happiest people, and that worldly people have no natural affection otherwise JWs may make their own decisions about how happy, affectionate, loving and normal they are.
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  Band on the Run

  When I first read the "Laundry List" by Tony A, one of the founders of Adult Children of Alcholics and other Dysfunctional Families, I was absolutely stunned. It is a list of fourteen traits associated with abused children who become adults. I always thought I was unique, a freak. All 14 were true for me. One of the items is extreme religiosity combined with immoral activity.

  The List is at the ACOA website. B/c it is an off shoot of AA, it tends to focus on alchohol a lot. The disturbing thing is that it passes down through generations unless there is massive intervention. I wanted to believe I could escape the consequences of abuse by sheer effort and perfection. Perfectionism is a key trait. The group says we only guess at "normal" b/c "normal" was never modeled for us.

  My father prob. would have been an abusive Russian Orthodox if the family had not converted. Birds of a feather flock together. Sick minds are a magnet for sick minds. The Wt acts as a magnet. What joy is there? The deference to Brooklyn is very sick. Also, I am totally in shock that any educated person could be a JW but many educated here spoke of the initial kindness as a cult recruitment tactic. My father hated RCs with all his "soul." It was pathological. He had no passion for any other Witness belief. Less than a year after my father's death, my brother became a hard core Maoist. He was much more brain washed than any Witness. He prob. still sees no connection.

  People mock "normal." It is a good trend. Yet there are some boundaries and principles that every society possesses. Witness life places you outside of them. It reminds me of the creepy saying of Jesus that he came to sow family discord--all the while being respectful towards families. C.S. Lewis wrote of universal values. Think of shunning and the Prodigal Son.

  I am so bitter and full of rage. Not only was my childhood robbed but I will never know who I was truly meant to be - sans abuse.
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  Ding

  The deference to Brooklyn is very sick.

  Is it too much to say that JWs actually worship a man-made organization?

  They have to obey it, serve it, and think about it all the time.

  Along with this is the fact that JWs are supposed to view the Society the way the literature portrays it -- as Jehovah's clean and happy organization -- no matter what the reality at their KH or in their homes may be.

  JWs are made to experience fear and guilt every time they make the slightest human mistake or even slow down to rest.

  JWs cannot have outside friends; every contact that isn't used for witnessing is seen as defiling.

  JWs can't be real; they have to pretend to be as perfect and devoted in attitude as the people extolled in the magazines.

  JWs have to look down on their neighbors as worthy of nothing but descruction while secretly worrying that they themselves are about to be judged unworthy and annihilated any day at Armageddon.

  JWs know that if they need a blood transfusion, their families will let them die instead.

  JWs know that if they ever DA or get DFd from the religion, everyone in their family will put the organization first and abandon them.

  None of this is "normal family life."
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  panhandlegirl

  My father was df'd when I was 12 and the overbearing CS became the family father figure. He was a pervert who had all of the young people's names recorded at the local police station. He told me that himself. He was

  to be called anytime we did anything wrong. That's not normal.

  Yes, loyalty to the organization was always placed above any family loyalty. Like Band on the Run said, we were robbed of our childhood and don't know what we were meant to be or could have been. Actually I feel the

  world was robbed of what we could have given to the world. I feel like Marlon Brando when he said "I could have been a contender, I could have been somebody." That, I think, applies to us all.
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  designs

  I made it a point to take the young kids in the KH on camping trips with my kids. Those were the best times. Sometimes I'd have up to 12, they still talk about those experiences up in the High sierras or the San Gorgonio wilderness. I would ask the other dad's to come along, only one or two ever went camping with us.