I genuinely love them
I love these people so much! we had KH cleaning last weekend for the memorial and it felt just like old time and brought back soo many memories...i share my struggles, my joys ...EVERYTHING with my bros and sis... they are my friends...i really truly do love them...how can i leave? That feeling just made me feel like abandoning all this reasarch and go on living blindly
But, too bad i don't live by emotions! On with my research....
Any1 ever hhad an experience like this?
I too used to love the brothers and sisters, that is until I started questioning some of the views of the governing body. Once I started doing that all love towards me was immediately stopped and a very cold feeling existed between me and my so called friends. Because I could no longer agree with what I had previously been taught my close JW friends dropped me like a brick.
The love shown by JWs, is totally conditional on you obeying everything the governing body say.
Its the nature of a cult/high control group. You get the members conditioned to only accept and react to the 'love' you (meaning the group) give them and if they step out of line you withdraw that love leaving them empty and depressed yearning for it.
Look at your example that triggered these emotions...Cleaning the hall WORK! They tie their work and activities to your justification of living. Very cunning.
Good vid on the subject
Real friends love you as you are.
Real friends are your friends because of who you are. They stick by you no matter what.
If Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, our Father in heaven, is real, whether or not his name is Jehovah or Father Christmas, then he must be a mighty, wise and all-knowing being. He is not likely to be reduced to the petty-minded tyrant proclaimed by the JW's.
One of the worst things the JW's do is reduce God, hypothetical, real, or whatever, to a mean-minded, small-spirited being who will only love you if you fulfil his least requirement, and, according to the JW's, those requirements are clearly outlined in the Bible and brought up to date and explained to poor weak humans living today by the JW's who are God's only channel of communication.
Really? It defies logic and beggars belief.
The JW brothers and sisters who are loving you so much now will turn in the blink of an eye once you fall out of line. If there's a whisper that you might just possibly be straying in thought, never mind in action, they'll pile on the love in spadesful. But once you make yourself clear, if you do, it will all just switch off, because JW's teach and believe that we have to do exactly what Jehovah/GB/WT says or we are doomed, and in Satan's clutches.
The Catch22 is, of course, that we are all imperfect. That's their get-out clause for elders and the GB when things go wrong, but it doesn't apply to ordinary mortals. If they stray, the love gets switched off, and they ask us to believe that this goes for God too. They'll even back it up for us from the Bible.
What an insult to a loving God, if we believe in him! What an insult to our own intelligence! And how very cleverly it is all done, in a way designed to shred an honest person psychologically.
Growing Girl, I too thought they were my friends, until the true colours showed through. I was lucky. I still had real friends who I found were still around, no questions asked.
I too had so much love for the friends in the hall, then I started making friends other places also...now my best friend is a catholic guy, and I have never felt so closer to anyone. I also have some really good friends at work that love me for me, not because we are the same religion. Start giving people outside the organization a chance, and you will see that not all wordly people are "bad".
They're victims of the Governing Body/JWs leaders. Why should you want to victimize them too? Even the harsh shunning methods come from the JWs leaders concerns to cover their butts regarding phoney efforts to seem exclusive (chosen spokespeople of a literal 144,000)--those that get wise aren't around to tell the other customers long. Keep that focus and you can show someone a solid expose. Otherwise, you could be taken for someone with just another cranky editorial--"people different than me stink."
All the time MsGG! It's very hard because despite knowing how it all works, despite knowing all the falsehoods, all the propaganda, being able to see through it all... there are still some lovely people there. I have friends I love dearly that I've known from my childhood, over 40 years, we grew up together, know each other inside out. (But I can't share this with them!) It would break their hearts because to them, serving the organisation is serving God and leaving the organisation is leaving God! It is black and white. It is a very delicate balancing act but I think once you have discovered everything there is no going back, it's like a Pandora's box, you can't unbelieve what you now know to be true. What we have to do is decide what is best for us and how to move forward in a way that is right for us. Each one has to make their own choice.
Most of us felt the same way. Even worse, they are completely ignorant. If they knew what you now know, they'd want to leave, too.
Unfortunately, they love 'Jehovah' more than the love you. If you get to experience how they treat an ex-member, you'll discover that you have what it takes to make new friends. Your new friends will be able to accept the real you and you won't constantly have to censor yourself. They will be able to tolerate your opinion and respect you as an individual.
Hang in there. It sucks to lose your friends.
MsGrowingGirl20 When my Son and his Fiance' let their strong feelings for one another get the better of them, they went before the Elders about it. They were DF'd for not having turned themselves in sooner and for now refusing to break their engagement as the Elders advised them to. A few weeks after being Disfellowshipped my son was diagnosed with an agressive form of Cancer. During his surgery, Chemo treatments and a stint in the isolation ward, he and his Fiance' were shunned by every friend and family member they had known since childhood. He was living with us at the time so our phone stopped ringing as well. These loving people watched as this young man dragged himself bald sick and scared to every meeting so that he could be reinstated as soon as possible. We were abandoned in our darkes hour by our entire support system. The only ones who came to our aid were non Witness coworkers who were wonderful to us. The warm fuzzy feelings I had for life long friends who could allow this fine young fellow to possibly go to his grave whithout ever speaking to him again or even attending his funeral if it came to that, soon gave way to anger. The reality is that we had been projecting our own warm feelings onto those whom we though of as Brothers and Sisters only to find out the brotherhood is very conditional and one sided and will vanish at the say so of their leaders.
Once the magical Watchtower bubble is burst for you, you can see this group for what it is. Once you look beyond the warm fuzzy feelings you have for those you've known for years, you can truly look at the facts for what they are. You are no longer able to overlook little inaccuracies. It's these inaccuracies,when implemented, that become so dangerous or even evil.
Love is only linked with congregation activities...love in service, at the meetings, at conventions...occasionally in some private gatherings. My brother is an elder and my elderly pioneer mother is in his congregation. She lives one block away from my brother but she complains that he never visits her. She only sees him and his family at the KHall...They are too busy to visit or even call. But if you come to the KHall, they are warm and loving...The moment they will sense something is wrong with you, love will be far gone and they will not visit you to enquire or even call. I haven't been to the KHall for nearly 2 years and the only few that come to visit come to see my active wife...they barely say hello to me and act as if I don't exist. They don't even know why I left yet!