I have a problem any suggestions would be appreciated

by nugget 36 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DesirousOfChange

  I think the first thing is to talk to my parents and see what they want.

  Nugget, that is likely the best idea. Particularly your dad. If he refuses to make "choices" himself between his daughter and let them make the choice on their own, then let your self-righteous sister stay home. My FIL was that way. Despite MIL being a JW, FIL was not going to make the decision on un-inviting the DA daughter to accomodate the JW kids. If anyone chose to stay at home, it was on them. OUt of six kids, there was only one pious, self-righteous @$$hole that shunned everyone due to the ONE DA family member.

  Doc
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  jamiebowers

  It is my understanding that jws can comfortably attend a family gathering with da'd and df'd relatives if it is held in a public venue such as a social hall or eatery. Whether the party is large or small, the jws can sit at a different table than you, and your parents can sit at their own little table for two.
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  nugget

  Thank you for your input.

  Regarding my Elder Brother in law I would not have said he is a reasonable person. He is an elder but some of his life choices are debatable and my sister has been belittled and mentally crushed by him.He has also been physically abusive and although the elders were made aware of his faults he was still appointed. He is extremely self righteous and if they were not both witnesses it is doubtful whether their marriage would have lasted. However whilst I can predict with a degree of accuracy what they may do but until push comes to shove I have no way of knowing what they will do.

  Elders are human beings and whilst I would not vilify them all having known lovely men who truly slaved for the congregation I also have known a fair few who were poor examples. Some elders would certainly use DJeggnoggs approach but not this one.

  I think in my families case the elder role is significant since my sister feels it gives them the right to police the family and criticise the rest of us. It also means they are precious of their status and do not want to do anything that may be seen to compromise their position.

  Thank you all for all your responses I think I am seeing a way to approach this. I think sometimes you have to accept that you can't achieve a perfect solution only the best one in the circumstances.
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  Black Sheep

  Don't accept the blame for the bad behaviour of your JW family members.

  If they decide to behave like prats, that's their choice, and they have to live with the consequences of their choices.

  Your mother was the one who chose to raise her kids in a church that demands that it's followers treat their non-believing children badly and if that choice damages her relationship with her family that's not your doing. Tell your Dad tell her to behave herself and sort her JW kids out so that you can all act like a normal family instead of a freak show for THEIR anniversary.
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  nugget

  Thanks Black Sheep totally get what you are saying may modify the words a little but like the forth right approach.
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  Black Sheep

  I wish all a great day Nugget
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  Conan The Barbarian

  I suggest that your Father call the family to be together, and state the date, time and place. He is the "head" of his household and is asking his family to attend because he has "Family business" to conduct. You should all get together, have your party for your Parents and at the very end of the Party, your Father makes the announcement that is "Family business". That could be almost anything that he wishes. I would suggest that he identify who the Attorney is that your Parents used to draw up their will or something like that. Just my $0.02.