10 signs of emotional abuse vs WTS

by wallsofjericho 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • wallsofjericho
    wallsofjericho

    check out this video on you tube about emotional abuse and then compare that to the control tactics of the WTS

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWTAdfIc4kQ&feature=related

    1 - making you feel worthless, without any value.

    *** w55 1/15 p. 41 Is Your Best Good Enough? *** But you may say, “I’m doing my best now. How can I do more? Isn’t my best good enough?” It may be, it may not. Is your best the best possible for you? Does your best get better? Your best may be poor because you do not try to improve it. Should you not make an advance toward greater maturity so that your future best will be much better than your present best? Sometimes it is a question of Can we do better? but more often it is a question of Will we do better? Are we getting the most from the abilities we possess, or could our best be better if we applied ourselves more diligently? A doctor may have ability but be mediocre because he failed to apply himself at medical school and during his internship. He may do his best with the knowledge he has, but his patients die because he has not developed to the full the ability he has. His best is not good enough, since he could have made it much better. So it is with the minister engaged in spiritual healing. He has a certain amount of ability. Has he developed it by study, by regular meeting attendance, by participating in the training program for his improvement? Does his best measure up to the fullness of his ability? If through negligence or laziness we do not develop, and because of that our best is poor, it is not good enough.—Matt. 25:15.

    2 - making you walk on eggshells not to upset them

    *** w97 3/15 pp. 16-17 pars. 18-20 Incline Your Heart to Discernment *** 18 To please Jehovah, we need “discernment in all things.” (2 Timothy 2:7) Avid study of the Bible and compliance with the direction of God’s spirit and organization will help us to discern what to do when we face situations that could lead us into a wrong course. For example, suppose something in the congregation is not handled as we think it should be. Spiritual discernment will help us to see that this is no reason to stop associating with Jehovah’s people and to quit serving God. Think of our privilege to serve Jehovah, of the spiritual freedom we enjoy, of the joy we can derive from our service as Kingdom proclaimers. Spiritual discernment enables us to get the right perspective and to realize that we are dedicated to God and should cherish our relationship with him, regardless of what others do. If there is nothing that we can do theocratically to handle a problem, we need to wait patiently for Jehovah to remedy the situation. Instead of quitting or yielding to despair, let us “wait for God.”—Psalm 42:5, 11.
    19 Spiritual discernment helps us to remain loyal to God and his people. Paul told Christians in Philippi: “This is what I continue praying, that your love may abound yet more and more with accurate knowledge and full discernment; that you may make sure of the more important things, so that you may be flawless and not be stumbling others up to the day of Christ.” (Philippians 1:9, 10) To reason properly, we need “accurate knowledge and full discernment.” The Greek word here rendered “discernment” denotes “sensitive moral perception.” When we learn something, we want to perceive its relationship to God and Christ and to meditate on how it magnifies Jehovah’s personality and provisions. This enhances our discernment and our appreciation for what Jehovah God and Jesus Christ have done for us. If we do not fully understand something, discernment will help us to realize that we must not cast aside our faith in all the important things we have learned about God, Christ, and the divine purpose.
    20 We will abound with spiritual discernment if we always harmonize our thoughts and actions with God’s Word. (2 Corinthians 13:5) Doing this in a constructive way helps us to be humble, not opinionated and critical of others. Discernment will help us to benefit from correction and make sure of the more important things. (Proverbs 3:7) With a desire to please Jehovah, then, let us seek to be filled with accurate knowledge of his Word. This will enable us to discern right from wrong, determine what is truly important, and loyally cling to our precious relationship with Jehovah. All of this is possible if we incline our heart to discernment. Yet, something else is needed. We must let discernment safeguard us.

    3 - humiliation, calling names, crushing your self worth: uhm... spriiturally weak, apostate, not appreciative of Jehovah, of is channel,

    *** w09 6/15 pp. 13-14 pars. 11-13 Be “Zealous for Fine Works”! ***
    11 Hannah, who lives in England, was 13 years old and studying the French language at school when she heard that a French-speaking group had been formed in a nearby town. Her father agreed to accompany her to attend the meetings there. Now 18, Hannah zealously witnesses in French as a regular pioneer. Could you too learn a foreign language and help other people learn about Jehovah?
    12 Rachel thoroughly enjoyed viewing the video presentation Pursue Goals That Honor God. Commenting on her thinking when she began serving Jehovah back in 1995, she says: “I thought I had made the truth my own.” Then she adds: “After watching that drama, I now realize that I have simply cruised along for many years. I have to fight for the truth and put real thought and effort into my service and personal study.” Now Rachel finds that she is serving Jehovah with more zeal. What has she experienced as a result? “My relationship with Jehovah has deepened. My prayers are more meaningful, my study deeper and more satisfying, and Bible accounts more real to me. As a result, I am enjoying the ministry so much and find real satisfaction as I see Jehovah’s words comforting others.”
    13 Luke is a youth who was encouraged by another dramatization, Young People Ask—What Will I Do With My Life? After watching this presentation, Luke writes: “I feel moved to reassess my situation in life.” He admits: “In the past, I was pressured to pursue financial security through higher education first and after that to focus on spiritual goals. Such pressure is not conducive to spiritual progress;

    4 - ignoring what matters to you, neglecting how you feel

    *** w08 4/15 p. 4 par. 10 Repudiate “Valueless Things” *** 10 What, though, of higher education, received in a college or a university? This is widely viewed as vital to success. Yet, many who pursue such education end up with their minds filled with harmful propaganda. Such education wastes valuable youthful years that could best be used in Jehovah’s service. (Eccl. 12:1) Perhaps it is not surprising that in lands where many have received such an education, belief in God is at an all-time low. Rather than looking to the advanced educational systems of this world for security, a Christian trusts in Jehovah.

    5 - threatening to leave or hurt you - public marking? reproof? disfellowshipping?

    6 - asking you to do unpleasant or humiliating actions - uhm... field service? sitting down for national anthems???

    7 - isolation you from friends and relatives -

    *** lv pp. 208-209 How to Treat a Disfellowshipped Person ***
    What if a relative is disfellowshipped? In such a case, the close bond between family members can pose a real test of loyalty. How should we treat a disfellowshipped relative? We cannot here cover every situation that may arise, but let us focus on two basic ones.
    In some instances, the disfellowshipped family member may still be living in the same home as part of the immediate household. Since his being disfellowshipped does not sever the family ties, normal day-to-day family activities and dealings may continue. Yet, by his course, the individual has chosen to break the spiritual bond between him and his believing family. So loyal family members can no longer have spiritual fellowship with him. For example, if the disfellowshipped one is present, he would not participate when the family gets together to study the Bible. However, if the disfellowshipped one is a minor child, the parents are still responsible to instruct and discipline him. Hence, loving parents may arrange to conduct a Bible study with the child.—Proverbs 6:20-22; 29:17.
    In other cases, the disfellowshipped relative may be living outside the immediate family circle and home. Although there might be a need for limited contact on some rare occasion to care for a necessary family matter, any such contact should be kept to a minimum. Loyal Christian family members do not look for excuses to have dealings with a disfellowshipped relative not living at home. Rather, loyalty to Jehovah and his organization moves them to uphold the Scriptural arrangement of disfellowshipping. Their loyal course has the best interests of the wrongdoer at heart and may help him to benefit from the discipline received.—Hebrews 12:11.

    8 - limiting your freedom until it doesn't exist anymore: service, personal study, meetings, family study, underlining watchower answers, cleaning KH, assemblies, CO visits, etc

    9 - forcing you to accept ideas that oppose legal standards:

    *** w91 6/15 p. 31 Questions From Readers ***
    With good reason Christians have been absolutely determined to obey God, even if a government directed them otherwise. Professor Robert L. Wilken writes: “Christians not only refused [Roman] military service but they would not accept public office nor assume any responsibility for the governing of the cities.” (The Christians as the Romans Saw Them) Refusal could mean being branded lawbreakers or being condemned to the Roman arena.
    Christians today must also be steadfast, firmly resolved not to violate divine law, even if that puts them in some jeopardy as to secular governments. The highest law of the universe—God’s law—requires that Christians abstain from blood, just as they are commanded to avoid fornication (sexual immorality). The Bible calls these prohibitions “necessary things.” (Acts 15:19-21, 28, 29) Such divine law is not to be taken lightly, as something to be obeyed only if it is convenient or presents no problems. God’s law must be obeyed!
    We can appreciate, then, why the young Christian mentioned on page 17 told a court that “she considered a transfusion an invasion of her body and compared it to rape.” Would any Christian woman, young or old, passively submit to rape, even if there were a legal grant that the fornication by sexual assault be carried out?
    Similarly, the 12-year-old quoted on the same page left no doubt that ‘she would fight any court-authorized transfusion with all the strength she could muster, that she would scream and struggle, that she would pull the injecting device out of her arm and would attempt to destroy the blood in the bag over her bed.’ She was firmly resolved to obey the divine law.

    10 - using you for personal advantage:

    *** km 2/95 p. 7 Announcements *** ? In response to many requests from publishers and interested ones, the Society has prepared a magazine-size brochure entitled Planned Giving to Benefit Kingdom Service Worldwide. Those planning to make a special gift now or leave a bequest at death to the Society may find this information helpful, especially if they wish to accomplish some family goal or estate-planning objective while using tax benefits to minimize the cost of the gift or bequest. A copy of the brochure may be obtained by writing or calling Watch Tower Society, Planned Giving Desk, 100 Watchtower Drive, Patterson, NY 12563-9204, telephone (914) 878-7000.
    *** w92 1/15 p. 16 par. 9 Jehovah Loves Cheerful Givers *** Cheerful giving is prompted by faith, knowledge, and love. Paul said: “Just as you [Corinthians] are abounding in everything, in faith and word and knowledge and all earnestness and in this love of ours to you, may you also abound in this kind giving. It is not in the way of commanding you, but in view of the earnestness of others and to make a test of the genuineness of your love, that I am speaking.” (2 Corinthians 8:7, 8) Contributing to Jehovah’s cause, especially when the giver has limited means, requires faith in God’s future provisions. Christians abounding in knowledge want to serve Jehovah’s purpose, and those who abound in love for him and his people cheerfully use their resources to further his cause.

    I am sure there are lots of other WT articles that may fit these bills even further but wow! unbelievable what R&F JW's let those old boys in Brooklyn do to them. So sad

  • Chariklo
    Chariklo

    You have it absolutely right. That systematic process of humilation by the elders is where I stuck.

    In effect, they did me a kindness, in disguise, because the whole house of cards fell down, and I saw it all for what it really is. I got out while the going was good, and absolutely no way am I ever going near them again.

  • wallsofjericho
    wallsofjericho

    I still am coming to terms with how needy I am as a person. I like to think I am stronger and more independant but years of this, my entire childhood I look back now and think about different times in my life and how needy I have always been for attention, for approval, hell even for envy!

    I am mentally free from the dogma but my personality is definitely shaped by decades of head games and guilt

  • discreetslave
    discreetslave

    I was a teenager with low self esteem due to a dysfunctional upbringing and abuse when I started studying. I could never understand why the longer I was a JW the more depressed I became and still had no self worth. I would point the finger to my past then after some thorough examination I realized my childhood wasn't as big a factor as it was when I became a JW. Nevr feeling good enough for Jehovah or as a JW became the bigger issue.

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    Yes, there is no doubt that, in addition to being a manipulative, controlling organization, the WTBTS is abusive to its followers.

    This is why Ray Franz in his book, In Search of Christian Freedom, explained that he had come to believe that the WTBTS was in fact the Evil Slave portrayed by Jesus' illustration of the FDS/Evil Slave - Mt 24:45-51

    It's interesting to contemplate why so many of us keep/kept returning to an abusive relationship. The answers to those questions are revealing, but not very pretty. It's no different really than Battered Wife Syndrome.

    It's really hard to take a good, honest look at oneself and acknowledge reality.

    At some point though it eventually must come to this:

    The Burning Bed

    The Burning Bed

  • time2keepmoving
    time2keepmoving

    Loyal family members can no longer have spiritual fellowship with him. For example, if the disfellowshipped one is present, he would not participate when the family gets together to study the Bible. However, if the disfellowshipped one is a minor child, the parents are still responsible to instruct and discipline him. Hence, loving parents may arrange to conduct a Bible study with the child.—Proverbs 6:20-22; 29:17.

    This is soooo stupid. See how they like to play on words by saying "loyal family members" loyal to who? To the "machine" not to God, because God does not have anything to do with Shunning but the WT&TS does. That's their own prize invention they twist the scriptures around to justify their wickedness. Also, how stupid is it to block a disfellowship person living in the home from the studying with the family, you would think they would encourage that to get them assimilated back into the bOrg. You can see how they contradict themselves so much and how riduclous their so-call directive is in each published article. Full of hate and spitefulness, nothing loving in that at all.

    In other cases, the disfellowshipped relative may be living outside the immediate family circle and home. Although there might be a need for limited contact on some rare occasion to care for a necessary family matter, any such contact should be kept to a minimum. Loyal Christian family members do not look for excuses to have dealings with a disfellowshipped relative not living at home. Rather, loyalty to Jehovah and his organization moves them to uphold the Scriptural arrangement of disfellowshipping. Their loyal course has the best interests of the wrongdoer at heart and may help him to benefit from the discipline received.

    Once again, they are reinforcing how they hold people's family members hostage.

    Also why is the person who left whether via disfellowshipping, disassociated or whatever called a "wrongdoer". So if the person had a issue with the JW doctrine and was disfellowshipped for questioning the bOrg they are labeled a "wrongdoer"? How so? What is wrong with asking questions, disagreeing and/or asking for accurate proof? You get the label "wrongdoer" for that. Wow! Real foul shit to be calling somebody that and to speak maliciously about people's character, which the JW's love to do because they know the bOrg can't be sued for slander. Arrogrant and nasty aren't they. They don't care about people's emotional well-being. They act like the common school-yard bully.

  • time2keepmoving
    time2keepmoving

    @ Chariklo - You have it absolutely right. That systematic process of humilation by the elders is where I stuck.

    In effect, they did me a kindness, in disguise, because the whole house of cards fell down, and I saw it all for what it really is.

    I got out while the going was good, and absolutely no way am I ever going near them again.

    could not have said it better myself, for a minute there I thought I wrote that!

  • solomon
    solomon

    marking

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    wallsofjericho:

    Yes, the religion fits all the criteria of what would be found in an abusive relationship. It is like a jealous, controlling boyfriend or husband.

    I especially agree about how they try to isolate you from your family and relatives. I saw this intrusiveness and I suppose I instinctively knew I had to keep the religion at arm's length. Too bad I didn't heed my inner voice early on and run for the door sooner!

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Okay????

    *** w55 1/15 p. 41 Is Your Best Good Enough? *** But you may say, "I'm doing my best now. How can I do more? Isn't my best good enough?" It may be, it may not. Is your best the best possible for you? Does your best get better? Your best may be poor because you do not try to improve it. Should you not make an advance toward greater maturity so that your future best will be much better than your present best? Sometimes it is a question of Can we do better? but more often it is a question of Will we do better? Are we getting the most from the abilities we possess, or could our best be better if we applied ourselves more diligently? A doctor may have ability but be mediocre because he failed to apply himself at medical school and during his internship. He may do his best with the knowledge he has, but his patients die because he has not developed to the full the ability he has. His best is not good enough, since he could have made it much better. So it is with the minister engaged in spiritual healing. He has a certain amount of ability. Has he developed it by study, by regular meeting attendance, by participating in the training program for his improvement? Does his best measure up to the fullness of his ability? If through negligence or laziness we do not develop, and because of that our best is poor, it is not good enough.-Matt. 25:15.

    If I was your Gym coach or personal trainer and I could tell you were not doing your best, does that make me a bad person? Would this paragraph in itself be grounds for calling " abuse "? Is it the way that it is said combined with the over all track record of the WTBTS? I ask because I was raised in a house where I received very little attention from my Father. He received little from his. I was raised to be pretty old school. Suck it up soldier! That kind of thing, so it hardened me somewhat. Having a daughter has mellowed me. When I read the first paragraph I didn't think it was that bad. So am I jacked up in my thinking? Do 99% of normal people think this is wrong to say to someone? Are some of you overreacting because it comes from the WTBTS, or do I really have no idea how messed up my powers of empathy are. Actually I am extremely non-judgmental compared to others in my family and in comparison with the Elders who interrogated me. If I am harsh what does that make them? I know I am messed up a bit, but that first paragraph jolted me a little because that is something I would have said to someone not long ago.....

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