@its_me!:
I do have a bias against you....
Yes, and I knew this, which is the reason I said what I did in my previous post, but that's ok. I don't come to JWN to make friends, and I would not want you to behave in any other manner toward my ilk, since pretending to be tolerant or at least friendly to a stranger would be hypocritical and thus exposes a character flaw. No, your bias toward me is consistent with the kind of individual you are and desire to be, and I would not expect you to be anything more than who you are as a person.
You think that you are helping lurkers on this site to perhaps turn back to the JW religion with the kinds of posts you make?
My answer may surprise you, but no. My hope is that those lurking the threads to which I have posted here on JWN will come to realize on their own that much of their discontent is not so much with the "Borg" itself, but with the very human failings that all of us have, including the failings that many of our elders in the local congregation have.
It is often the case that the perceived contempt with which some elders are culpable is due to their never having learned the finesse they need in order to treat the people they call "Brother" or "Sister" as they would a member of their own family. (It's sad that some elders are seen to treat the flock better than they do members of their own family, whether these family members be in the truth or not, and as the OP has revealed about her husband, who is not an elder, he tends to treat people in the congregation better than he does his own wife.)
While neither you nor I may be marriage counselors and none of the elders should not be pretending to be such, those of us having a wife or a husband and/or one or more children have gained valuable life experience and spiritual perspective, which can prove to be beneficial to those believing themselves to be in "bad" marriages should we elect to provide spiritual counsel to those asking for help. But to be effective in this regard, such counselors must remain emotionally detached, for where physical abuse or child abuse by a parent are concerned, such are criminal matters that should, in my opinion, be reported immediately to the authorities, lest the anger or mental illness manifest in one of the parties escalate and lead to serious injury or death.
No one knows what's really going on in someone else's marriage; the OP whose marriage woes is the subject of this thread has told us that even she has no idea what's really going on with her husband or what it was that persuaded him to treat her as if his wife were invisible. I have made a few suggestions to @sacdfan that could open up to her an opportunity to have a dialogue with her husband in an attempt to learn what's going on with him, but I don't believe it appropriate for me, or for anyone, to interfere in someone else's marriage.
A suggestion is one thing, but to insinuate oneself into someone's marriage offends Jehovah, who has only vested husbands with authority over their own wives. Marriages are real living things that differ from another based on the two unique individuals that were joined in wedlock, and because no one can live up to a decision made by someone else, only the two parties that were joined in matrimony bear responsibility for the decisions made in them.
Spiritual shepherds would not want to learn the intimate personal details of a couple's marriage through the party emotionally affected and willing to tell all, for this could prove to be spiritually damaging to the other party if such were shared without the mutual consent of both parties. Since what is learned may be embarrassing to the other party and cannot be unlearned, a professional marriage counselor may be better equipped to handle sensitive details. This is why I never go there.
Quite frankly, I've found many of the comments made in this thread to be offensive, since they presume a power with which human beings have not been endowed by Jehovah, since we aren't equipped to direct our own steps, let alone the steps in someone else's marriage! Of course, Moses led the entire nation of Israel, but he had divine help to do so, and must patiently wait for Kingdom rule.
And telling me there is nothing to win?
My tongue was in my cheek when I wrote that, but I was saying that as far as arguments go, there is no argument to win here. I joined this thread in an attempt to help the OP by making a few suggestions that might lead to resolution of her problem. I had not sought to argue with anyone; I just wanted to make a helpful comment to the OP.
Sorry to all again for not staying on topic.
If you owe anyone an apology, it would be to the OP, but I believe @sacdfan will realize it was because of something I wrote that caused you to go off-topic. Right now she's looking for suggestions on how she ought to proceed, and if it is true that @sacdfan's husband is using his wife to help him get through school, she needs to confront him about his agenda. I can think of no valid reason though why the OP should be pressed to discuss what her "life situation" is with her husband, or asked to speculate how she might feel living as a single woman again. How would you feel were someone to pry details about your "life situation" with your husband?
Jehovah hates divorce and, anyway, couples ought to view marriage as being more valuable than a house. (While over time, a house does require fixing or tweaking, and being a homeowner, I don't know anyone that would want to just walk away from their own home.) Perhaps you will be able to help the OP by providing a suggestion of your own, @its_me!
So whether you should forever hate me or be forever disgruntled with Jehovah's organization, my hope is that you will not remain angry indefinitely. May our future outcomes will be met with only that which is best for each of us.
@djeggnog
