by baltar447 23 Replies latest jw friends
So I'm in my mid 30s and about to have a birthday next month. Was putting together a very modest wish list and just broke down crying.
I was in tears. I've never felt important enough to have a Birthday. I realized that growing up a JW makes you feel like a piece of human waste. I am just beginning to unravel the human damage that this stupid cult does to people.
balthar447, I don't know what's on your wish list, but I wish you happiness and long life. As a virtual born in, I never had a birthday either. You are right, it does make a person seem insignificant.
Yes, baltar, I'm with you on that. I was asked what I wanted for my birthday and I was drawing a complete blank. Christmas, too. We're taught that we don't deserve to be the center of attention for ONE DAY out of the year...that the day we first breathed and came to exist on this planet, when our energy joined that of every other thing, is not an important day whatsoever. It's hard not to feel insignificant and undeserving at times. But I was told "this is the day you were born...this day made it possible for you to be in my life...why would I not want to celebrate that??".
SO...apply that to yourself the next time you feel undeserving. Your birthday made it possible for you to touch the lives of many, not only on these boards, but everywhere you are in your life. How can people NOT celebrate that?
Baltar,
It's amazing isn't it? I really feel for you and am happy for you as well. This past October, at 38, I had my first real party since my 5th birthday, and it was a little overwhelming. It makes you want to cry when you think that these people are here just to see you because you were born on this date. No other reason than because they like you and they want to be there for you. You don't have to be anything or do anything else to have friends. The cake and singing happy birthday mean so much now that it isn't something to look down on. It can be allowed into your life and enjoyed.
I hope you get what's on your wish list!!
Little Mac
Happy Birthday Mate!
i know the feeling and havent told my new friends my birthday cause im still in the uncomfortable stage. Did you know its not a DF matter to have birthdays. its not in the list of naughty things in the Mind Control for Dummies book( Shepherd the flock of god).
I hope you enjoy it and everyones entitled to feel just a little special at least once a year!
Az
Baltar,
I've cried over the years. Religious explanations don't help young children much. I saw how no one cared about us. The saddest part was one year we visited the family of Irish Catholic kids around Christmas. The mom thought she was being nice. We played with her children. My bro and I were allowed to sit under her Xmas tree and hold toys for about five minutes while she took photographs of us. Many decades later, I still have the photos. The ache is visible in our faces.
My father said Catholic kids only got toys at Christmas. We never received toys. Neighborhood kids said we could n ot play b/c of our lack of toy power, esp. guns. They received toys all year. Also, they could go get a soda or candy once in a while.
I did not care about Jehovah. The contrast between Tv daughters and the way my gf's fathers treated them made me feel defective. I am a people pleaser to this day. A substantial part of my youth was spent analyzing what I did wrong to deserve a fate of no holidays and meetings.
All right, toys are not important. They are important as a piece of a much larger picture that you are not cherished. And I was reviled. I would read about Pilgrim and PUrtian girls and pretend my father was strict and ruled Massachusetts. Jewish kids don't celebrate Christmas but they have their own holidays where children play a specail role even more than in mainstream Christianity.
Why we were condemned to this religion? It was not our choice yet we paid the price.
baltar have a great birthday when it comes. I'm sure you care about making others feel special on their birthday, why should you be any less deserving?
Celebrate with people you care about and accept their appreciation of you with good grace. All the best to you.
"You are perfect, just as you are" ;)
Enjoy the day.
Thank you all for the well wishes. I will be making sure that from here out my kids don't feel the way I do.
My middle son's birthday is the day after tomorrow. I bought him every single thing on his wish list, plus several items I thought he would like. I made cupcakes for him to take to his Boy Scout meeting tomorrow. I ordered a Dairy Queen cake for his birthday dinner. The only reason I didn't throw an all-out birthday bash is that he hasn't really had a chance to make friends outside the hall yet and there wasn't anyone to invite. I may be going a little overboard, but I feel so awful about raising him in the borg and never celebrating any birthdays or holidays.
I hope you enjoy your birthday when it gets here :)
