1. How do you break a norwegian's finger?
Punch him in the nose
2. Why did the norwegian circle his block 58 times?
His turn signal was stuck
4. A Swedish couple were in their house. Suddenly, the wife said to her husband "Get me a pair of loafers" so the husband came back with two Norwegians.
5. A pilot was having trouble maintaing the stability of his plane. So he turned to the co-pilot and asked him what the trouble was. The co-pilot said that there were a bunch of Norwegians on board causing a ruckus. So the pilot asked him to calm them down. The co-pilot left and came back, and suddenly the plane was calm. The pilot said "How did you take care of all those Norwegians?"
"Oh, it was easy" said the co-pilot. "I just opened the hatch and told them there was free lutefisk in the basement!"
6.Two groups of men are fishing the same lake, a group of Germans and a group of Norwegians. They're all casting away like mad, but while the Germans are catching lots of fish, the Norwegians aren't catching anything at all. So one of the Norwegians tells one of his friends to go over to the German group and see what it is that they're doing to catch all these fish. So off the guy goes, and pretty soon he comes back to the Norwegian group. When asked what the Germans were doing, he said, "Well, it looks like the first thing they do is cut a hole in the ice....."
----------------------------------------------------------------------7.A Norwegian received a pair of water skis for his birthday.
He went crazy looking for a slope on the lake.
8.Ole and Lena got marrried. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther if you vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth.
9.Then there was the Norwegian who noticed the sign "Wet Pavement"… so he did.
10 When the Norwegian accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, "I'm not going down there for 50 cents."
11 A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep…that's her!"
12. Did you hear about the Norwegian woman who had to stop using the pill?
It kept falling out.
13 Why do Norwegians have such nice noses?
They're hand picked!
14 LADY (at the Olympics): "Are you a Pole Vaulter?"
NORWEGIAN: "No…I'm a Norwegian…and my name ain't Valter."
15 Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. "The way I figger it, that fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. "Well," said the other one, "At that price it's a good thing we didn't catch any more."
Hope these jokes don't insult any Norwegians. After all, they're just sweeping generalizations!
Lisa
Doesn't pick her nose class