The shunning begins

by fade_away 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • fade_away
    fade_away

    So it's been a little over a year since I left and by now people are starting to realize I have no intention of going back. My mother-in-law has begun shunning my wife. Her and her mom used to talk on the phone more regularly back in the beginning of 2011. But since we have been going on "apostafests" with other ex JW family members, well now her mother doesn't speak to her. Her mother also told us she decided to leave websites like Facebook. Since the watchtower is coming up with information lately about the dangers of social networks and constant reminders about how the sheep are no part of this world, we figured she was just following orders. Several months later, my wife and I went on vacation with the dark side of the family: the apostate side and while we were staying at their house, we found out my mother-in-law still has a facebook. She just blocked us and told us she deleted her acoount. She's not the only one...today I learned of two others who have "unfriended" us on that site. But really, I don't care cause it's a dumb website that means nothing in the end but still, it shows how pathetic their reactions are to people who leave the cult.

    Another person that is partially shunning me right now is a person that once used to be my best friend. He recently got baptized for the sole purpose of marrying a baptized girl and ever since I questioned his motives for the baptism, he has stopped talking to me. We usually talked every other week, but now it's been about two or two and a half months since we last spoke. I think he is seriously regretting inviting me to the wedding and is probably trying to think of a way to uninvite me...especially since I emailed him some history on the watchtower and some of their secrets swept under the rug along with the lies to cover them. My mother used to call once a week and now she can go almost a month without calling. She still picks up when I call though.

    But I feel a steady separation and a gap that keeps growing between me and my parents and some of my friends. But it's ok cause I have my wife, her ex JW cousin and a whole family of ex JWs up in Canada that are always willing to hang out with us and listen and talk about these experiences we share in common...not to mention some friends we have made here on JWN and have already met in person. By the way, our recent stay at our Canadian family's house was a liberating, happy and just plain awesome experience! And to think, my wife and I could get disfellowshipped for such experience. We were miserable while we were in so if disfellowshipping is the price to pay for happiness, well then it's definitely worth it!

  • Knowsnothing
    Knowsnothing

    Yep. I'm happy for you, in that you have a great support system.

    I feel sorry, however, for the treatment of the uber-dubs. It hurts especially when it's family or someone close.

    All the best, Fade_away. I will always remember that silly pharisee picture.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Sorry to hear that your wife is losing contact with her mother. Her mother leaving FB is really no loss. I take no chances and not a single JW is on my friends list. If anyone has a problem, create a false persona and let that be your "aposta-Facebook" character.

    I do find that virtually all faders lose virtually all of the JW friends eventually. Still, it hurts. It hurt when it happened to me. I turned my pain into anger and eventually steered the anger toward the organization instead of the person.

    I only faded to maintain contact with my mother, so I don't talk JW stuff with her at all. It also makes things easier with my wife's family. You might consider never emailing stuff about WTS to any JW's and be careful what you say outloud, never to two of them at a time if it's negative about WTS.

    Awesome that you have other family to be close with. That's really a blessing.

  • flipper
    flipper

    FADE_AWAY- I'm sorry you are going through these shunning situations with both your parents. I am dealing with boorish behavior on my 2 JW parents part as well towards a inactive close family members . Although it's rough- I'm glad you have a good support system with other EX-JW relatives and friends. My wife and I do as well and it indeed is a really cool thing to have kind support. Hang in there friend, we are here for you as well ! Take care of yourself and your wife

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I happy to hear of your progress socially, but saddened by your relatives.

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