This time of year I feel different

by reneeisorym 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    It has been almost SEVEN years (I can't believe it!) since I left the JWs. I am to the point where I don't really even think about it anymore. I have come to terms with my lost family. I still mail them picutures of my baby girl they have never seen, but I can't bring myself to call because the rejection hits to hard. Day to day I deal with it fine just admitting that my life doesn't include those people from my past and it may never include them again.

    Then this time of year comes around. I don't morn "not being able to spend it with my family" like most people assume. We didn't spend this time of year together anyway. It just makes me feel different because I don't have these memories of Christmases past like other people. This one little time of year I get those feelings of being "weird" one more time. I'm sorry to the rest of the world, but I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE "MAGIC" ABOUT SANTA!

  • ShadesofGrey
    ShadesofGrey

    God sent his right arm to us (Isaiah 53) in the form of a birthed human that contained all the fullness of God (Colossians 2:9).

    That is the magic of Christmas. Not Santa.

    Carmen

  • undercover
    undercover

    It just makes me feel different because I don't have these memories of Christmases past like other people. This one little time of year I get those feelings of being "weird" one more time.

    I can relate...

    Having never had the traditions of xmas growing up, other than hiding from the world for the last couple of weeks of the year, Xmastime creates odd feelings at times. Even though I now partake in some of the holiday traditions, it doesn't really give me the "xmas spirit" or "holiday cheer".

    I've spent xmas eve and day at "worldly" friends houses as we celebrated the gift opening. It was surreal sitting there watching what looks like a scene from a movie and not having any real joy or cheer. Even though I was in the room, I felt like I was outside looking in. I was glad to have the freedom to share in the day's festivities, but it just didn't mean the same thing to me as it does them.

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    This thread is depressing me. Reading this makes me think a piece of our soul has been removed and consumed by an indifferent religious publishing company........oh wait....... I feel numb during holiday season too, sometimes even hostile. On one hand it's difficult to remain grumpy while people are enjoying "their" holidays, but being that "their" holidays aren't something I participate in, I feel numb. I've found that I'm happy for them to be happy, yet at the same time glad that I don't have to participate in all the foolishness, although I wonder what it would have been like to have been able to make that choice for myself as opposed to being born into a family situation where it was already decided.

    reneeisorym, your baby girl is what makes it worth the struggle. To me, your baby represents what the Watchtower hates the most about those who leave their cult, and its that life goes on without them.

  • alias
    alias

    It just makes me feel different because I don't have these memories of Christmases past like other people. This one little time of year I get those feelings of being "weird" one more time.

    That. And I love the music and lights and the festive mood.

    Plus on January 2 I get depressed 'cause all the fun from Halloween to New Year's is gone!

    Can't win,

    alias

  • NomadSoul
    NomadSoul

    Yep, I understand the part of not thinking about it anymore. The only thing that remotely reminds me of JWs is this board.

    So make your own magic, you'll make plenty of memories with your daughter.

  • thetrueone
    thetrueone

    I'm sorry to the rest of the world, but I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE "MAGIC" ABOUT SANTA!

    Should you your an adult ?

    The over impressing hype of X-mas and of the supposed things that are to happen around this event is mostly

    out of pretentious commercialism, somewhat forced on to society.

    Parents excite their kids the same way their parents did .

    In other words don't make to much about it, sad mind you that you don't have a close relationship with your

    parents, thats a separate problem in itself .

    Take care.

  • ShadesofGrey
    ShadesofGrey

    reneeisorym, your baby girl is what makes it worth the struggle. To me, your baby represents what the Watchtower hates the most about those who leave their cult, and its that life goes on without them.

    My 9 year old daughter has friends that she never had as a JW. Friends that my parents warned her against. Friends that giggle and hug and love. She never had this before. They are so sweet and cute together.

    My 4 year old Son is so excited every day-- he says that he is so excited! "Christmas is at our house!" He brags about our tree, talks about Santa (he watched two cartoons and now he is convinced, lol), marks the calendar... and today he bought and wrapped a present for his dad. So precious.

    You will have memories. You just get to make them yourself.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Your baby girl will eventually teach you the magic of Santa, and it will be wonderful!

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    I don't really care about Santa, and don't emphasize it too much with my kids. But I adore holidays because I enjoy decorating my house and the kids get excited and feel "normal" when I do. Gotta love pretty lights!! Santa is just an accessory in my mind.

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