If You Have Had the CO or DO Stay With You...

by A question 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • ekruks
    ekruks

    @Vidgun - Well, I guess that makes me a girl's man :/ because I am very empathetic, but I agree with you guys, there didn't seem to be much empathy in the cong.

    @sabastious well, he was very happy, but not very sensitive, seemed to have few emotions, and just lived in his little world of whatever the Watchtower said he should think, and that was exactly how he would see things - he didn't seem to be able, or perhaps willing, to look 'outside of the box'.

    I don't think it was his fault; it's what the Watchtower does to you - it stops you thinking for yourself. Met him again when I was an adult, and I noticed that he can be a very cold in dealing with people, sticking to what the Watchtower/DO etc. says, blind to peoples' feelings.

    He was fun, constantly cracking jokes, even doing practical jokes, but he seemed to have no idea where to draw a limit, often with little regard for the feelings of the 'victim' - he did offend a few, so a bit selfish, but if someone just spends everyday banging doors, well, it's going to affect you - we know!

    He was a bit surpised when we kids played a practical joke on him at a meeting; won't say what because I'm sure many remember, and it might give away who I am and I want to keep contact with my family. Fortunately, the CO thought it was funny, but some elders still look down on me for it.

    Yes, I agree - I wouldn't say the circuit overseer job is exactly mentally-challenging. Just lots of paperwork; forms, etc.. I have been 'groomed' at times by MTS brothers, and encouraged to 'reach out' by many elders, have appointed men in the family, family in Bethel, met many missionaries, but despite all this talk of hard work, and things being so difficult, what I noticed is that a lot of things are really hyped up.

    The job of the secretary is time-consuming, and tedious, downright boring, hence no elder really wants it other than to be on the Service Committee, but not exactly difficult. The jobs of CoBE and service overseer seem to be the most aspired to, and well, they are clearly highest positions of leadership in a Kingdumb Hell, but actually require little work.

    In one foreign-language group, which had a serious shortage of appointed men, I was looking after territory, but the service overseer didn't get involved in the foreign ministry. I was assigned various tasks he would do. It wasn't that difficult. I had to make sure the maps were together (well, I was also doing territory anyway), work with those that struggled on the ministry (big deal if you are a pioneer! got to do those hours somehow!), and have a schedule of ministry groups of which I conducted most of them. I did some shepherding with another pioneer, because we were the only 'spiritually strong' ones who knew the lingo.

    Ok, there are a few more things, such as make sure the literature and magazines were being ordered for the ministry, in line with offers for the month, etc., but we had no servants in our group, so I just did these myself. It's time-consuming, but it's not 'rocket science'.

    It really used to annoy me when if I asked an elder what I had to do to reach out to be one, he would say to wait for a while, to gain experience, to be ready, that they would train me in time, and I would be thinking, I'm doing it already, just without the title! It seemed to me that they were protecting their positions. Too much about power.

    I just read the pages in the Organized book, that little green one, and also some Kingdom Ministry articles and did what they said. I then started to notice that most service overseers like to give the impression they are amazing, but don't seem to be sure what they are doing, bumbling along, disorganised, often not doing parts of their assignments, and found it even harder to look up to them.

    There was more politics than work; I think the difficult was putting up with all the stress. After that, I didn't see the elders as so hard-working; well some were working hard to provide for their family, and being an elder really was trying to do too much, perhaps proud.

  • ekruks
    ekruks

    Next time there is an assembly item on reaching out, perhaps we could hack the sound system!! lol heehee

    Reaching Out by NERO

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJVQJ4-n_cA

  • NoRegrets
    NoRegrets

    We had the CO and his wife stay with us several times. I remember it being pretty much pleasant. Didn't see him much but the wife visited with us more. They were both very nice but the lower level of our house was pretty much an apartment so we left them alone quite a bit which was nice for them. They were some of the nicest JWs I remember and the CO himself was a pretty humble guy for having that position. His wife and I did do one thing together more than once: Make homemade salsa. It was pretty fun and actually a fonder memory than pretty much any of the rest of my Jw upbringing. That was probably because my parents were on their best behavior and not able to be their usual evil selves!

    NR

  • NVR2L8
    NVR2L8

    We had the DO and his wife stay with us. I had mentioned to one of the elders that I knew him from back home when he was our CO so he said that it would be a great idea if we had them stay with us. I said sure...at that time I was reaching out for re-appointment as a MS and showing hospitality to the DO couldn't hurt. The DO called and said that they were excited to spend time with us. We have a newer house with a guest room and office that they could use. I didn't spend much time with them during the day but my wife said that the brother used the office and wireless network for e-mails quite a lot. He was out every evening for meetings and his wife stayed back with my wife to watch movies in our theatre room. She loved animated movies like Shrek. We had dinner together once and our conversations weren't all centered on the wonderful preaching work...or how we came to the truth...we had fun. When they left they gave us a nice thank you card. A few months later I was appointed as a MS and soon after I started to work on sound at the CA and DC where I ran into the brother who wasn't overly warm and all business on these occasions. On the other hand his wife was as fun as when she stayed with us.

    These were not my only encounters with COs and DOs. My dad was a car mechanic and when I was a child my dad was often fixing the CO's and DO's cars. In these days they used their own vehicles which were in most cases old poorly maintained junkers. My dad would fix them for free, often paying for the parts out of his own pocket. Since we weren't wealthy, dad had to take jobs on Saturday...of course most of his customers were JWs who had no issue with paying cash "under the table" to save on car repairs. Before the WT owned assembly halls each circuit owned a moving truck to store or move the equipment they needed to hold assemblies at rented halls. My dad drove and maintained that truck that usually was no longer fit for everyday use...it never started when they needed it and dad was called late at night or on a day off to go and fix it. Today I realize how men like my dad were taken advantage of while the WT was piling up money and sparing no expense to maintain or enlarge their buildings. It's funny how my dad got to visit the Bethel garages and afterward saying how well equipped their were...how well maintained their fleet of vehicles were...and never realizing that he had made so many sacrifices while the WT was sparing no expenses....

  • Sic Semper Tyrannis
    Sic Semper Tyrannis

    The only time the CO stayed with our family was a disaster. They stayed in my sister's room while she slept on the floor in my room along with my little brother. My dad told her to take down all her Bon Jovi and Poison posters and memorabilia (late 80's quite obviously), but for whatever reason, she didn't, and my dad didn't check the room before the CO and his wife went in. You could see the disapproval from the way he glared at the room. My dad got the hint, and quietly took them down as the CO went down to have a cup of coffee as my mother diplomatically (and wisely) offered. Though they were nominally polite, this first impression made quite a poor one. After only two nights, they abruptly excused themselves and went to stay in a much wealthier Witness family's guest house. I didn't see why they didn't offer that in the first place, but oh well. Personally, I was glad they left because I didn't feel compelled to go out in service when they did, and my sister could have her room back. According to everyone's expectations, the "local needs" talk was about the rock and roll culture and how we shouldn't idolize it. My sister got it good that night after the Thursday night meeting from my dad. It turned out to be the catalyst for her own demise. Within the month she arranged to move in with one of her worldly high school friends. She was disfellowshipped for "loose conduct" soon afterwards under dubious circumstances.

  • N.drew
    N.drew
    After only two nights, they abruptly excused themselves and went to stay in a much wealthier Witness family's guest house.

    New International Version (©1984) Luke 10:7
    Stay in that house, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house.

    I think they disobeyed this rule.

  • dozy
    dozy

    Often had COs staying with me , both in my parent's house as a child & as an adult.

    How was the experience?

    Generally quite positive. In my experience , most COs & their wives are OK.

    How did they spend their free time? Were they at your home, and if so what did they do while there? Or did they mainly do their own thing?

    The CO gets very little "free time." Every day is scheduled for ministry - AM & PM. Of the 5 nights , 2 are used up by meetings & there is a night for the elders & CO meeting (usually Friday) & the pioneer meeting (Weds). Tuesday afternoon is spent with the COBOE and a lot of time is taken up with administration , dealing with problems in other congregations etc. The last time the CO came to stay with me , there was a major problem in one of his congregations and his mobile was literally ringing every 5 minutes. That only really leaves Saturday afternoon (which is now scheduled for a ministry arrangement) & Saturday evening. Often the COs would go out for a meal with friends in the cong on Saturday night.

    The CO's wife is different - some are pioneer zealots & others are quite chilled out. One COs wife stayed all week in our house with a unspecified "health problem" ( depression , really ) & just watched daytime TV , surfed the net & read books , which nearly drove my wife crazy. Some help with the chores , others don't lift a finger (in fairness , most are happy to help).

    I got on especially well with one CO who was a big football (soccer) fan & actually ended the pioneer meeting early & ushered the pioneers out of the house so he could watch a UEFA Champions League game. We still text each other even though he knows I have long since stopped going to meetings.

    Actually , on the rare occasions that the COs & their wives relax , maybe with a glass or 2 of wine after a meeting , you see a different side of them. They do really see the crappy side of "the truth" - so aren't as positive as the persona that they present at the meetings and sometimes are quite sad that they have never had children. One CO confided in me that given his time again he would never have entered the circuit work , but would have been far more content being an ordinary elder with a nice family & a decent secular job.

  • Gorbatchov
    Gorbatchov

    It should be great to know what the CO or DO and their wifes opinions are about the family's they stayed for some days. That part of the book would be interesting too!

    Poor bed's, ugly bathrooms, crazy animals, stinking rooms, bad climate homes (cold / hot), loud television during early night, loud family couple in bed, family that want's to do everything perfect because you are the CO/DO, no privacy, verry pretty / hot daughters you don't know where you have to look at!!

    CO or DO (and their wifes) live in a kind of hell, but they can't do anything else, without any education etc.

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    No i haven't but it seems it would be a difficult situation on both ends.

    most of the co's and do's I've met were either trying their best or had completely absorbed the identity and were no longer normal humans.

    Some were nice enough some were distant but I usually ignored them some witnesses hung around them like groupies. i wasn't raised in so i didn't have get the same " oh it's the co or do" feeling. Some people got positively terrified by their appearance.

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