Newbies: what your future may be.

refiners fire

I been out of the org a full 20 years.
What progress have I made?
Well, Im not angry anymore at the org.I dont even hate the GB.
I learnt a lot from reading all those old Watchtowers about mind control. But this has had an effect that has spilled over into the "real" world. Ive become very anti government, anti media, because, now, I see mindcontrol in my soup.
Im anti social and havent ,in many ways, broken the patterns I learnt while in the Borg, of treating people badly because I was jealous of their lifestyle of doing what they wanted. I learnt to be an asshole
to cover my desire to secretly run with worldlings. This hasnt changed.
what else?
Work.
Im a manual worker, Ive tried getting a formal education but cant seem to go thru with any course and finish it so as to gain the qualification and get a good job. I still look at people in their suits, ties and BMWs and tell myself they are "contemptible" because they prostitute their "purity" to the beast system.Sell out their principles.
Still the same arguement I used when I was a dub teenager condemning successful people because I wasnt allowed to be one of them.
I used to paint, write and read a lot.
In painting and writing I was well above average, but those things seem to have faded from me now. I havent touched a paint brush in 5 years. I painted out of psychic pain, purging myself. There seems nothing left to purge.
Good things that have happened:
Ive paid my house off, and we sit quite comfortably, but God, my life is so ordinary. Im disappointed that this is as much as I seem able to achieve.All in all, still alot of issues that are getting no nearer to resolution, are they.
I feel Ive been robbed of an essential opportunity to direct my own life, educationwise, that I seem incapable of retrieving.
Doubtless wsomeone will now suggest this or that self help book.
Ive read and practised dozens of them. Going thru with the change seems the problem. Perhaps this is part of my genetic heritage, and has nothing to do with the dubs.

flower

and you've helped people like me so that counts as an accomplishment too

flower

ISP

I think for some newbies it may not be too late. Life in the 21st century is for a long time!!!!!!!!

ISP

Xander

I guess the question is...

what would the alternative have been?

It seems you'd pretty much be in the same position, but with a proxy to blame everything on (that mean ol' nasty debil hisself).

Is that really better?

Perhaps I lucked out and left early (well, after 21 years or so, but hey, it could have been worse), but it seems that there is a lot more opportunity to participate in LIVING now.

Haven't registered to vote yet, but plan on. Not that I'm big into national politics, but local politics fascinate me. There was a school project once (Gov class) where we had to go to local city council meetings and take notes. I *LOVED* this. I want to be a part of that, and now...guess what...I *can*.

Birthday parties, ehh? Yessiree, parties for me - now that I know associating with 'wordlings' won't make my eyes fall out or something. Sure I'll take that Christmas bonus. And games, too - this summer, I'll be running out to my local Best Buy and picking up Doom 3. And I won't worry about 'stumbling' someone.

And, how about that Buffy? Or R-rated movies? Tell you what, Matrix *ROCKED*. And 'Le Pact De Lupus'? Yup - looking good. How about that 'Queen of the Damned'?

And how about all that nasty, kinky sex? Couldn't do that while in the (b)org - okay now

And, you know what is best...

When someone lies to me now, I can call them on it. I don't belong to an organization any more that requires me to accept what I'm told and not question things. I look things up. I take nothing for granted, and when I'm right, it makes me feel good, instead of feeling betrayed. And when I'm wrong, it *still* makes me feel good that I've underestimated someone.

Yeah, I am still bitter at the organization that took the best years of my youth [>:(] (I'm sure in further posts here, I'll vent quite a bit), but I still have the rest of my life, and I'll be damned if I let a cult take it from me again.

A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana

refiners fire

I hope so.
Far as Im concerned the sooner all newbies sort their issues and move on, the better, moving on seems a problem for me though. Seems a problem for all the ex dubs I hang out with too.My wife tells me the Watchtower left a very big, dramatic black hole. All that death and destruction, all that manipulation, Ordinary existance is dull and boring compared to the Watchtower hell of anxiety, apprehension and demonic infestation.

Xander

Originally posted by:refiners fire

Ordinary existance is dull and boring compared to the Watchtower hell of anxiety, apprehension and demonic infestation.

Now, see, I never said live an 'ordinary existence'. I'd argue, actually, that no existence is ordinary. I mean, look at what can be done - where you can go!

I think a lot of the worlds' problems would be solved if people just traveled more. I mean, how can you hate a world that has Virginia's Eastern Shore? Or the Smoky Mountains? Or the entire friggin state of Oregon for that matter? And that's just in the US alone.

No, now that I can get out and actually *experience* it - no restrictions - this is a pretty marvelous world we're in. Not just the land, mind you, but the people. People are *amazing*. (I hope this isn't tainted too much by my beliefs - happily pagan now, the planet, it's people, and human society turns out to be a wonderful/magical/exciting place to be every day!)

I just get pissed off from time to time that the organization I grew up in was preventing me from seeing this world as anything other than a potential cinder (to be rebuilt, of course, by God fearing people who never had a moment of fun in their entire @^#!@*&*&@$ - gah, nevermind, getting OT.....)

A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana

Kep

I look back and see the youth that was taken from me.
Yeah, the higher education, I wanted to go to Uni and get a degree and have a profession, have a big home, latest car, boat, whistles and bells.
I don't have any of that, but my life is so much better than before.
Yep as you say Xander, we have freedom to pick and choose things we were deprived of before.
I've got a family now, something I never wanted in this system, and then didn't want when I was Dfd.
But they have helped me get over my issues with the borg, and focus on caring for them.
I still have some borg mentality when it comes to material things, but there are other things money can't buy that I have and would never want to lose.

AIRVIEW1

ok

Kay Francis

My husband and I have been out for four years now and have accomplished a lot. We had a brand new house built, enrolled in college and belong to the Honors Society, have made some friends, reunited with out non-JW family, changed jobs for the better, but we still have a long way to go.

It has actually been a great turning point in our lives leaving the borg. We were so fortunate to have gotten the break that we did.

2SYN

Being a Dub did teach me to have EXCELLENT self-control - I've never had a drop to drink in my entire life...I doubt that if I ever get married (?) I will even drink then...it's just not something I'm prepared to do! None of my friends can understand it. But I have other reasons for not drinking too, such as the fact that all 3 generations of men leading up to yours truly were (and some still are) hardcore alcoholics, so I reckon I'm not gonna take that particular risk.

I also don't use substances - sure I've experimented a few times (don't we all!) but that's about it. Once again, I have solid reasons (unlike the WTBTS, which is basically just a body of beliefs founded on a book of fairytales really) for not using drugs like X and Cat...I see what they're doing to my friends, and I don't wanna be in that boat, thx.

Sitting in meetings for a large fraction of my life has also given me the ability to sleep with my eyes open (this was immensely handy in high school )!

Like a lot of people on this board I've lost a large part of my life and many experiences I could have had to the WTBTS, and this is something that I cannot change, so I don't mull over it and blame anybody. My parents honestly thought they were helping their kids by becoming Dubs - this I know for a fact, and I love them because of it. Little did they know how much damage they would do in the coming years, and that the Dub religion would be the acid that would melt the ties that bind in my family. Oh well, that's all water under the bridge, no point whining about spilt milk. I try to live each day like it's my last, and it works - I've come a long way from that desolate place when I left the BOrganization in 1999.

I did it without God, and also probably more importantly, without Satan.

Now I'm my own man - I make the decisions, not a bunch of old Do0dZ in Borglyn. I'm allowed to use my mind again, and I realize that looking back on all that time in the BOrg, that was the one thing that was denied of me, and the only thing that allowed me to escape.

The earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing. - The Golden Age

Newbies: what your future may be.

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