by Joey Jo-Jo 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
This question is different from what made you leave.
As for me, i wanted to take one step further, to be more involved in the organization, but I had some very old small doubts, about other religions, so I started my liberal study on religion, I read books from other churchs to reffute them, but in fact created more doubts about the org.
I watched Oprah one day and Carolyn Jessup, (former FLDS member) was on promoting her book "Escape." For some reason it peaked my interest and I bought it. I couldn't put it down. I shared it with my mom, and my best friend and her husband. I was admonished not to read it because it would weaken my faith...Hmmm. Wonder why someone would say that??? I told my mom that this sect of Mormons was a lot like JWs. That got me thinking. I knew things were not right inside of my head and heart. Slowly the yard unraveled. I started traveling a lot for my job, and it allowed me further distance and made breaking away slightly easier. I wanted to make sure my kids did not turn out to be JWs so I took drastic measures. I am so happy to be awake now.
I had lots of doubts that came up by myself. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me because I wasn't "getting it". After reading apostate stuff on the internet, I realized that maybe there wasn't anything wrong with me and they were legitimate things I was finding out.
Mr Freeze: That was me too. It just didnt make sense, so I started reading stuff on my own in secret. Come to find out, I'm not mentally diseased afterall. ;)
The first time a very small seed of doubt was sowed was during memorial season. I was trying to think of how I could use the Bible to show my friend why the "other sheep" don't partake of the emblems. And then I realized I couldn't do it!
For me it was just logic. Once I took the time to think about things we believed, I realized that it was ridiculous.
Then I realized my life was passing by, and since this is all there is, I'd better get on with enjoying it.
At the time there was a song by the Beautiful South, which marked me:
"I want my sundrenched Ingred Burgman kiss,
not in the next life,
I want it in this, I want it in this. "
I like to think of myself as a very reasonable person. When I hear things from other people, I don't instantly condemn the person who I was told about. That's taking sides without having all of the facts. Being raised in the borg, I felt that for sooooo long, I was only hearing one side of the story. We constatly bashed other religions and other people, and everything said about us was ALWAYS positive. I knew there HAD to be something I wasn't hearing. That's when I began my research into JW's. And here I stand....
What also made me do research was the thinking that "We expect 'honest-hearted' ones to accept what we have to say and if not, we consider them close minded. But if a JW came to my door and started preaching many of the things they do(including the death of all non-JW's and other things), I would NEVER listen! It's only my raised-....inness that makes me believe unquestioningly!"
One of the things that got myself rethinking about the issue that god was using and had chosen the JW organization as his sole earthly
organization was the precariously false doctrines ie. 1975. The Truth came to me when I realized this calculation was impossible
and it was devised solely to heighten attention to the WTS. published works.
I couldn't mentally accept that god would use or support men who were so calculating and purposely corrupt.
It was indeed a publishing house controlled by men for the wanting desire of their own self empowerment and any attainable financial gain.
At a time when our family was very vulnerable, a very close Witness friend who I've known since my teens and is like the big Sister I never had, sent me an email with an attachment of the article about Rutherford's San Diego mansion and how he built it for the returning patriarchs. She thought it was so interesting and wonderfully historic and was sending it to all her contacts. For me it was shocking to think that I had been A Witness all my life and had never heard of this nonsense. If this flake was one of the founding fathers of the religion, and came up with this crazy scheme, what other beliefs did he come up with that were complete nonsense? I began to think that if my Mother (and others) would have been able to actually meet these people in real life, she might have viewed them as lunatics and fanatics and would never have gotten us tangled up in this religion.
The friend who sent me that original email hasn't contacted us in a few years because I'm sure she got the word that we're out of the TRUTH. If she only knew that it was her email that was one of the straws that broke the camel's back.....
