Birthday V Anniversary -I don't send JW family an Anniversary card

by artemis.design 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  artemis.design

  When I was growing up in a JW family, I always resented the fact that I had to save up my hard earned pocket money to buy my parents a wedding anniversary gifts, when we, as kids, never, ever had a special day. I don't mean the usual, not celebrating birthdays or Christmas, but we had no special day at all. We didn't lack for toys, but that idea of looking forward to a certain day and have a wrapped gift, is something I don't ever remember experiencing as a kid/teenager.

  Forward fast to 16 and leaving home, I decided I didn't want to celebrate Anniversaries. My parents weren't that bothered. It was never even mentioned. But now myself and my siblings are all Wed, they see it as a snub that I don't send them gifts and cards on their Anniversary. It isn't, I just see it as a special day between a husband and wife, I just don't celebrate other peoples. They just can't get it.

  Having just read the other recent post regarding birthday's, this has just reminded me how difficult it is to make sence of their rules, Anniversaries - ok, birthdays - not ok. No don't think so! Arte :)
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  nugget

  When we were witnesses we used the anniversary as an excuse to give gifts to our children and they received more on that day than we did. It was nice to have a day when they could receive wrapped gifts since when I was growing up it was extremely rare to get a proper present. I always used the anniversaries as an opportunity to show affection for family and show them I remembered them. Now we are Df'd we have many opportunities to give but my witness sister only has this one day so I use her anniversary to remind her I still care about her and make a point of sending a card every year whether she sends me one or not.

  If my non witness family remember my day it is a bonus but essentially we see it as a family day and still treat it as special although it is also my sons birthday so the day has double meaning for us.

  Your parents feel deprived if they do not get a card and yet they didn't feel the need to give cards and gifts to you as you grew up it is the irony of the witnesses. You must do what you are comfortable with but they may never get that you see this a day of remembrance between husband and wife. However this is the only day they get.
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  artemis.design

  Some of my JW friends as kids used to get wrapped gifts on their parents anniversaries, or other special days like assembly days. But I honestly can't ever remember getting a wrapped gift. We weren't materially deprived- we used to get toys , but t would be like, we are in the supermarket, and we could all choose a toy. My hubby has a whole cupboard full of nick-nacks from his childhood, but I do not have a single item of sentimentality, nothing I can say "Dad bought me that".

  I don't think it is out of retaliation, but I absolutely can't bring myself to send and anniversary card.
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  mrsjones5

  My thing is a little different. I didn't have birthdays either and I've gotten over that but come December I will have been married to my husband for 19 years. My parents have never acknowledged my anniversary in all of those 19 years. My mother threw herself an anniversary party on her 40th and next year will be my parents 50th (also my 20th). Because of how mean and negative my parents have been towards my husband and I, I really don't feel the need to celebrate my parents' 50th.
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  DesirousOfChange

  When we were witnesses we used the anniversary as an excuse to give gifts to our children and they received more on that day than we did.

  That was our family tradition too.

  DOC