Military Service

EXMS

I need your guys help.

Some of you might know some of my past from other posts...but new life changes have happened to me.

I have recently joined the United States Navy. I was orginally going in as a Nuclear Engineer...I have instead opted for a much less boring life in the Advanced Electronics Computer Field (AECF) rate. My father's side of the family (who has been out for 20+ years) are very excited and proud of me for my decision. My mother's side (who are all witnesses less one great grandmother who whole heartedly supports me) is not. My mother and I were talking a few weeks ago and she kept nagging me about a career so I finally told her I talked to a recruiter for the Navy, not telling her I joined.

She beyond flipped out. She hung up on me and sent me a series of text messages to my phone stating that she has to sacrifice me to the god of war and that the second I join (if I join) that I would be murdering people or directly involved with murdering people. She says she has always told me that she will choose god over her only son. She then precedes write on facebook that she wishes she never gave birth to me. Infront of friends and family both. I basically left a comment on her post saying how dare you do that. That is something a mother should NEVER do to her child. No matter what. I took a screen shot of it for my records and then unfriended her. According to sources, she promptly deleted my comment.

I know she is having some scary health problems right now, and I didn't want to talk to her about this at this time brought regardless it's now been brought up. I have refused to talk to her until an apology from her is given. However, I need to tell her that I did indeed join and am leaving June 6th, 2012, maybe even earlier. How should I go about telling her? When? How can I reason with her? I used to be a Pioneer for years and a Ministerial Servant and yet for some reason I can't remember what JW's "reasons" were against the military. If you fine folk have any suggestions and info on the JW/military topic please help me out!

EXMS

BroMac

so sorry to hear your experience. i've been thinking on the same thing. check out my post on Cornelius. it was alot more detailed but i deleted it all. still the principal is their i believe.

why did jah & jesus approve of Cornelius, even pouring out HS before he was baptised, when he was serving in the military as a Roman Centurion?

tenyearsafter

EXMS...unfortunately, I don't think there is much you can say at this point to ease your mother's mind. In her mind, you have sided with Satan's system and as such have rejected God and his followers (her). Trying to reason with irrational responses doesn't work...time may soften her feelings, but if she is a strong JW, she will shun you. I wish I could offer more, but unfortunately this is the JW mind-set towards those they perceive as rejecting God and his organization. Good luck as you work your way through this...

PaintedToeNail

Wow, good for you, sounds really exciting. Sorry about your mom flipping out, however, that is to be expected when one is a JW. She sounds totally and completely brainwashed. Maybe you could just shun her back and not bother telling her when you leave, as it doesn't sound like she wants to know anyway.

cj

JeffT

EXMS, thank you for your service to the country. I do not have any pearls of wisdom for your situation, except to say keep to the high road. No matter what your mother says or does, continue to be the best son you can be. Maybe some day it will make an impression on her.

leavingwt

Put yourself in her shoes. She honestly believes that Jesus Christ is going to slit your throat at Armageddon.

With this in mind, it's rational that she would regret giving birth to you.

To those of us on the outside, such a comment is disgusting and unthinkable. Especially, given the self-sacrificing nature of what you've volunteered to do.

We often say things that we regret, when we are under emotional distress. She'll probably cool off and later apologize. I would recommend giving her some space, and certainly not responding in an unkind manner.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. You deserve better. Thank you for your service. My Uncle was in the Navy during WWII. I named my son after him.

DesirousOfChange

JWs consider military service as taking sides with The Beast of Revelation -- the Governments of the World and rejecting God's Kingdom, which is said to be the only source of peace for the Earth. It is a failure to practice Isaiah's words of "beating swords into plowshares" and ignoring Jesus' warning that "those who live by the sword shall die by the sword."

The argument about Cornelius is interesting. It won't likely sway your mother, but it's an interesting argument.

In case you are not aware of it, by choosing to join the military, you have willingly renounced your position as being one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Thus, it's very likely (depending how long you have been inactive, and how zealous the elders in your former congregation are in pursuing the matter) that an announcement will be made in your old cong that: "EXMS is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses." No need to have any discussion with you nor to have any JC. Your choosing the military is statement enough that you not longer hold to the beliefs or want to be identified as one of JWs.

Be kind with your mother, that way she can not try to "turn the tables" and say you were unkind and unloving and choose to "shun" her. She is surely disappointed as it is not how she raised you to think or act, and she likely feels she has to take a public position against your actions for the sake of appearance in the congregation. (It would be the same if you announced that you were gay or took another position strictly contrary to WT policy.)

Keep your head down.

DOC

Gayle

So many best wishes in your decision. It takes a special courage to make this decision and compounded with your background.

I was a mom (had left JWs long previously) but I still had a hard time about my son joining the military, Marines. We argued for months, as he was 17 yet. I lost. I had to sign for him to get a physical earlier since he wasn't 18 yet. However, he was so determined. He wasn't ready to go straight into college (like his two brothers), said he planned also to go to college on the GI loan after.

For him, he clearly had purpose and pride. He was stationed at a camp about 5 hrs drive from here. Two Thanksgivings he brought 8 Marines home, since their families were across the country and too far. They were so amazingly respectful and appreciative. I was awestruck by them.

After, he graduated college and is now working entry level federal correctional officer with strong motivation for other levels. For him, he is glad for his route and experiences.

I am glad you have some relatives that will be supportive of you. Hopefully, through your grandmother, word can get to your mom that you are well and accomplishing your goals. Keep your goals and plans for your work. Your mom made her choices for her life but when our kids are grown we are obligated to always love them but must allow them their adulthood. It will be her loss to not adjust.

Vanderhoven7

Your Mom has disowned you. She does not want, or deserve to be informed. You can post the info on your FB account and send a copy to others. The info will filter back to her. I suggest you not attempt to justify your decision to anyone. You don't have to. This is between you and who you serve.

A&W

I am sad that you you got out of one matrix and into another imho. I am also sorry you have to go through what you have with your Mom, her reaction is over the top considering her FB post. I wish you the best.

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