by lola-rabbit 26 Replies latest social family
Jesus didn't get baptized until he was 30.
The WTS cautions people from getting married too young, or too quickly. Baptism is supposed to be even more serious than marriage, so it should not be rushed, and shouldn't be undertaken too young, because of peer pressure, or because the congregation or her dad thinks it's time.
THAT says it ALL! Why not 25? Why not 20? Why not 18? Why not 15?
If it was better to be baptised at 15, Jesus would have done it.
DOC
I would not allow my children to be baptized. I told my daughter that she needed to wait until she was an adult. I told her that I did not want her being shunned, should she make a mistake. Thank goodness my kids never were baptized. I was still going to the meetings when I discouraged her from giving into the pressure to be baptized.
What kind of legal committment can your 15 yr. old make without your consent? Buy a used car on credit? no. Sign up for cable TV? no. Buy a house? very funny.
But she can dedicate her life to obey the Jehovah's Witness cult. The agreement, consumated by a public ceremony equal to a wedding, includes extremely serious sanctions that can impact her life forever. "Mentally Deseased" and shunned like a leper in the 10th century. The reposession of a used car drops off a persons record in no time.
Someday there will be a serious legal challenge by an unbelieving parent who will expose this creepy child abduction scheme.
The first thing I would recommend is that you not pressure her too much. You might push her away and right into the WTS's open arms.
The 2nd thing I might suggest, if you haven't tried this already, is to remind her that once she's baptized that's it. No changing her mind without consequences. Maybe you could tell her that you thought it was the truth when you were baptized, but since then you changed your mind. Now, you have to pretend to hang on just so your parents will talk to you.
If this seems to have an impact on her, you might ask her to consider just how great the Society truly is if it treats people this way. Point out that there's a difference between the way the Society presents itself (including how her father surely presents it) and how the Society really is. Explain that, to her father and others at the Hall, getting baptized is the right thing for her to do for them. But what if it's not the right thing for her?
Or you could talk about other things you learned between the time your were baptized and now, things that made you regret your decision. I would think those are the kinds of details she'll most likely identify with and understand as that's the point where she is at right now.
You could also try to point out that cults aren't so obvious in real life as they are on TV. All but the most extreme ones appear "normal" to the uninitiated. They make a point of appearing normal to potential recruits, like your daughter. She may not like it so much later when they show their real faces. That won't happen until they've got her, though.
You may find it a waste of time if you're trying to convince her to leave the KH through scripture. Instead, focus on what the Society does, the kinds of attitudes it encourages (the world is evil, average Witnesses must obey and not question, etc.) and the harm its policies have done. Especially to you and people you know, or even better, people she knows. The Bible is arguable; concrete results are not.
At the very least, maybe these measures will convince her to wait a while more. Maybe she'll change.
lola-rabbit - My oldest teenage daughter (15) is a publisher and goes to all meetings with her father (we divorced, he picks her up). I try to get her more involved in school and to spend more time with friends outside the congregation. I'm to the point where I'm going to simply forbid it and send her off to collage early!
Welcome ((((((((((((lola-rabbit))))))))))) to the forum. By the way, "(())" means hugs. Your greatest assets are teenage physical/emotional development, teenagers seeking approval from their peers, and boyfriends. Why doesn't your daughter want to get more involved with school activities? Instead of forbidding your daughter to become more involved with JWs, take your daughter and family out doing fun things (i.e., shopping at malls, visiting local universities and colleges, doing non-JW things that your daughter has shown an interest in, etc.). I am sorry that you must go this.
Too bad that you are on the wall trying to please your JW parents, otherwise I would suggest celebrating birthdays and Christmas with you family. Can you send anonymous emails to your JW parents/friends like I wrote about in the thread http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/211893/1/Youe28099ve-Got-Mail-TM, so that may be you will not have to remain on the wall for the rest of your life.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
BibleStudent
LOLA -- You might use the WTS own explanation to suggest she postpone the decision. THEY state that it is the most important decision in one's life. Why go into this while still in the "bloom of youth" (which they apply to waiting on the decision to choose a marriage mate).
Suggest that as long as she is an unbaptized publisher, they will be anxious to help he to progress and support her in every way possible. Once she is dunked, they will seriously look down on her if she has a month that she cannot meet her "quota". Then she may be ostracized by other JW peers because she is "weak". She can also claim she is trying to be respectful of your opinion on the matter as it will make things easier on her, and she doesn't see where going ahead with the decision to be baptized is important to make you feel like she does not respect your position as one of her parents. You have been reasonable in allowing her father to pick her up for meetings on meeting nights when he does not have custody. They should honor your request about waitng for baptism, or you could play hardball with where she goes or does not go when you have custody. Courts will allow you the option of exposing her to YOUR religion (you might have to get a new religion) as well.
(Proverbs 6:20) . . .Observe, O my [child], the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother. . .
(Matthew 15:4) 4 For example, God said, ‘Honor your father and your mother ’. . . It's a decision she should respect just to keep peace in the family until she is of legal age.
You might even suggest to your hubby that there have been non-believing custodial parents who have successfully petitioned the court to make restrictions that the child CANNOT be coerced to take the step of baptism until they are of age. It will be let hassle and less expensive if he cooperates with this request from you. He should have no problem with her waiting until she is of legal age.
DOC
Have you both read Crisis of Conscience? Combating Cult Mind Control?
Hi Lola-Rabbit,
You've had some very good suggestions. May I add one more? Check out this link to an essay, The Great Watchtower Contradiction. It's a 9 minute read that may profoundly affect your daughter's view of what she may getting into.
It exposes Watchtower by revealing the single most outrageous Watchtower contradiction that most of us have ever seen. It goes beyond the regular expose by answering two vital questions: why they've contradicted themselves and why most JWs are not even aware that it's happened. It does it from Watchtower's own publications and encourages the person to get their own WT Library CD for verification. It does it without arguing subjective doctrine, which, as you know is like talking to your cat.
I hope your daughter has access to the WT CD. If so, there are some 20 quotations directly from WT literature that she can look up herself.
If nothing else, inside there's a small table that be snipped and placed in a strategic location -- bedstand, bathroom, inside the pages of something she reads.
I wish you the very best.
Len
Lola
You have a PM from me.
hope you have worked out how to open them...
click on the envelope up the top, click on the message, it will give an error message, refresh the browser and re open...
Oz
