JW obsession....

by light_bulb 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • light_bulb

    Hi i'm new here.

    I've been dfed for almost 2 years. Despite the usual familly problems that I have had to deal with, I found I was living life successfully... so happy to be out in the world, experiencing new things and just enjoying the freedom to be me. I never really have too much time to worry too much about what i have left behind.

    But that all changed on Sunday. My JW father who "serves" as a ministerial servant called me to tell me he had some health problems - allowable family business. Which we discussed for a short time. Then he asked how I was going and when I started to go into what I had been up to that weekend (camping with friends) he suddenly had to go cause he was too busy. It was hurtful and really upset me, I think more than it usually did. It lead me to start researching shunning on the internet and when my research lead me to the WT study article last sunday, it was like a light bulb when off in my head.

    After spending so many years saying No JW's are not a cult, if someone asked me right now if JW's are a cult or not, I would have no hesitation what-so-ever in saying YES. And there-in lies my obsession. Now I can't stop thinking about having escaped the organisation, the blinkers that I let myself wear for so many years, the knowledge that my parents have been JW's so long they will never see the same light and leave.

    Has anyone got some advise on how I can deal with my current obsession... I can't stop reading the forums, searching the internet for stories and i don't want to overload the few close friends that make up my new family with all this (as much as they love me and want to be there for me, none of them really understand how I feel).

  • mamamo

    I think the forums really help. I have friends that i do say stuff to, like the other day when my mother asked if I was going to get reinstated. SInce I haven't been inside a KH except for my father's memorial service for something like 20 years, I told her it wasn't going to happen and that I had done my research. Before my father passed back in January, I had cut all my times and didn't call them. But I felt like I needed to check up on my mom very so often now that she is alone. Oh well, the WT article put an end to that.

    Since you are a newbie, if you haven't found the books, mainly Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz. He high up in Bethel back in the 60's, 70s, worked on the Aid book and others and then started noticing somethings didn't add up. He was df'd when he asked some questions.

    So feel free indulge your obession here with us who have been there, done that.

  • mamamo

    Oh yeah, you might want to check out Meet up or Yahoo Groups. Not knowing where you live, there are several areas that have meet ups for us exes. It really helped me with finding the people who understood because they have been there too.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    Therapy. There are plenty of mindless cult like groups out there along with some religions that are very very controlling to it's members. It's interesting when u start learning about other religions where people feel they have to escape only to lose all friends, family, and sometimes the ability to provide a living for themselves. It's all the same tactics at control. Just a different spin

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    therapy.. I didn't do it butI hear it is a good thing to do... I just did what you are doing and in time the obsession was livable.... this place helped me get over the hump... and reading Crisis of Conscience by Raymand Hanz and Steven Hassens latest book.. and time...

    good for you and welcome to lifeFS

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Gosh, your experience is great and I wish you the best! This stuff takes time, and as mentioned^, perhaps some talking to a professional.
    It can be almost like a "survivor syndrome"--- you realizing you figured it all out, but leaving behind your loved ones mentally trapped in this wreckage of nonsense.

  • mamalove

    I know how you feel. I am very open about it with friends if it comes up in conversation. It is normal to process new conclusions however you need to. Your brain is thirsty for definition, explanation and experiences of others. I know how you feel about the shunning. It is greatly upsetting that family can write you off so easily. It does get easier with time. My respect for them is so low that things will never be normal unless they came out of the org. Hang in there and do what you need to do to process and grieve your past.

  • transhuman68

    Welcome light_bulb! LOL don't worry about being obsessed- just do it and the obession will wear itself out... in time. The truth about the Watchtower is amazing... and it takes a lot of research to find out where the lies and deception start and end. It can be a bit scary... and make you angry...

  • JustThatGirl007

    I also vote for therapy. I didn't see a therapist that specialized in cults, but I was able to get out some of my frustrations about being raised that way. It was maybe 3 sessions. Everyone is different, though.

    For my local area, meetup groups for ex-JWs are all churchy, Come-to-Jesus-you-need-to-be-saved kind of groups and I'm not into that. I don't even know if I believe in God at this point. So my local meet up groups aren't right for me, but it's not a bad idea to look. Your area may have some great ones. I didn't even think of checking out yahoo groups, but I'll do that tonight.

  • wobble

    Welcome, and WobbleHugs to you !

    I know how you feel, it is quite crushing to realise that your families love for you is very controlled by the cult. I found spending time here therapeutic, bouncing ideas off people, finding out how they had coped etc

    I have also found that over time my family treat me better and with more love than they did when I first left. The difference is,I suppose ,that I am not DF'd orDA'd, but you may find they mellow in time.

    Remember we are here for you, and good luck !

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