I WAS so proud of you ..........

by Dudu 8 Replies latest social family

  • Dudu

    Those were my mom's words.... hurt so much. She was telling me how proud she was when i was a tenager and i went to meetings without her ... and all this time ive been so faithful to the org... im so sad

  • AnneB

    Tell her "No, you were proud of yourself and of how well I followed your instructions!" Then tell her you love her, but that each of us has to stand or fall on our own in front of Jehovah, that you're doing *your* best now, not hers. Tell her that since you are taking care of yourself now, she will have more time to work on her own relationship with Jehovah instead of trying to run yours.

    She'll either get the point or she won't, but you'll probably feel better for having set down the ground rules.

  • Dudu

    Thank u Ann B im crying so much now..... besides since i moved by myself it has been a hard process

  • zoiks

    Moms can have a real talent for making us feel guilty. Sometimes it's the only way they know how to express their sadness at their child leaving the Org. Remember that in her mind it's ok to use guilt since she believes that your life depends on it.

    Hang in there.

  • MrFreeze

    I can completely relate. If a dad were to say something like that, I wouldn't think much of it. A mother to say something like that? She's supposed to be the nurturing one.

    I was very hurt when my mom said that it would be better if I were dead than to tell her I didn't want to be a JW anymore.

  • Dudu

    I know what you mean .... ppl are supposed to be free , right?

  • mrsjones5

    My mother has said those types of things to me. On some level I think she got a certain level of enjoyment out of causing me pain then she would turn around and tell me that I was the one who was actually inflicting pain on her, that I was the selfish one. At some point(and this should have happened much sooner than later) I hope to be able to not care about the mean and cruel things my mother says to me.

    Your mother may love you but you can't live your life and feel good about you doing what she wants when you know that's not what you want.

    I'm a mother of four, my oldest will be off to college next fall and because of the way I was raised I have no need to try to control my children after they leave home. I'd rather watch them fly and be proud.

  • Dudu

    Thanks for the loving support ... it is difficult so difficult ...

  • transhuman68

    Dudu, life is difficult. It's always changing, and as you get older the relationship with parents changes. They don't know everything, and sometimes they say things out of hurt, anger or bitterness. You have your own life to lead, and you will have to sort through many issues and make many decisions as you go. You will have to trust your own judgement. So don't put too much weight on your mother's words- everthing passes.

Share this