Pre-view of tomorrows economic plan

by darth frosty 1 Replies latest social humour

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty


    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

    The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

  • HintOfLime

    Meh. Fuck old people. They've been fucking the young for AGES.

    - Lime

    PS: Should have saved up money for retirement. The young people have to do it today - WE know that SS is a scam, and there won't be anything there for us in it - they even tell us in the latest SS statements. Couldn't the dumb old farts figure that out? I guess not. People love a good story - even if it is an obvious pyramid scheme. Fuck the old, disabled, and poor. I have my own problems, and they don't give a fuck about me, afterall. If they want a hand out, have a free sack lunch - peanut butter and jelly.

    That is more than they are owed, really.

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