by Band on the Run 19 Replies latest jw friends
I was wondering what tips/advice others have gathered from dealing with controlling people(a la JWs) when one is enmeshed and can't terminate the relationship? How do you carve out and maintain boundaries when you must dance with the devil?
My rage scares me b/c I am reminded of my time in the JWs.
A Good Lawyer would Know how to Carve out Boundaries..
If I remember Correctly..Your a Lawyer?..
You are the Answer..To your Prayers..
..................;-)...OUTLAW
Playing lawyer is easy. I'm tallking about my personal life. Not so easy. Necessary, but not easy.
I have found that when I don't want to talk to someone I agree with everything they say. Absolutely agree with the everything, then just watch them walk awary shaking their heads... they can't figure it out. It's a misfire, you're supposed to be arguing with them.
"Playing Lawyer is Easy".....Band on the Run
I`ll take your word for that..
....................;-)...OUTLAW
BOTR, I found this book useful in dealing with the BPD persons and JWs in my life. The techniques discussed will help you with the JWPDs (Jehovah's Witness Personality Disorder) gross lack of boundaries, smearing, distortions, gaslighting, tantrums and other assorted viciousness. It also offers tips on maintaining rare to no contact with your tormentor(s), should that be your ultimate decision/goal.
http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901
Best wishes for walking a firm and steady path.
Thanks so much.
Here's my suggestions (and suggestions of "experts" in the field): Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud/Dr. John Townsend; Boundaries, same authors.
One of the all time best ever is Codependent No More & Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie (has been out for many yrs. but hard to beat) --- one of her books was being read/studied in the schools. Her other great book ---- ooops i'll have to remember the title and I'll post.
Enmeshment --- good to know you realize.
Get a good therapist that you can discuss the issues with. It's helping me quite a bit.
I've found that telling them to mind their own business works pretty well. Then hang up the phone on them. Worked for me with my crazy JW ex-Wife . She didn't bother me again . She tried working through other relatives- but she didn't personally try calling me anymore. You just have to stand your ground and protect your personal boundaries
