by yrkdnme 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • yrkdnme

    Hi. I am interested to know from other long time wittnesses if they had a hard time with prayer after leaving the organization? When I left I found it so difficult to pray to "Jehovah" and still do to this day. I am always more comfortable with just "God". Since leaving the witnesses behind I have developed a close and personal relationship with Jesus. I never had that growing up. I can say God and be ok with it but when I say Jehovah, it still conjures up such fear in my heart. Fear of displeasing him, of failing and dying. When I talk with "God" or Jesus, I feel very free and lighthearted. Can anyone else identify with this?

    My mother, both grandmothers and aunt were reg pios. I was immersed in JW culture from birth. I attended all meetings, had no worldly friends, was baptized at 14 (and df'd by 20), pioneered myself every summer and on secular holidays. At my judicial meeting I went into the waiting area and prayed for Jehovah to make them disfellowship me, that if he really was God and he knew how unhappy I had been all my life that he would do that for me. I WANTED to get away from all of them and knew that being df'd was really the only way to make them all leave me alone. I left and never looked back. It was so hard for me but I knew this was my baptism into the "real world". It was something I had to do, I didn't want any of them in my life anymore! So, having said that, why do some find this so hard to do? It's all lies, get out, move on, you'll be much happier after you do!! Help me understand why some people can't let go and continue to hang on for years and years. I was more miserable in than I ever have been once I got out and overcame the depression of losing everyone. Yes, there is a despondent period you will go through and alot of guilt, but it is sooooooo worth it on the other side!

  • NomadSoul

    I'm glad to hear that you are out. I wish I could share my perspective on this but becoming an atheist is why I left the Borg, so when I left prayer wasn't an issue.

    I do remember being asked to pray in the book study when I was already a non-believer myself. It just felt like empty words once you don't believe.

  • Joey Jo-Jo
    Joey Jo-Jo

    it is statistically proven that god does not answer prayers, in fact the god of the ot since jw,s use old covenant if you read in your bible god said that prayers will not be answered, because people were born with sin, while nt says something else prayer started before this monotheistic god existed, you could say that what we call today occultism created these religions for the purpose of creating united tribes and nations

  • Bella15

    Something that helped me a lot was to discovered for the first time in 40 years the difference combinations of the name Jehovah in Hebrew as written in the English language (I speak Spanish). I also read how the WT used "Jehovah" because of familiarity when indeed God's name is more like YAWEH and that the name "Jehovah" was first used by a catholic monk and many other corrupted info that they teach. Another thing, when I pray, I pray to my FATHER in HEAVEN, and Yes I relate to what you're saying and feeling. The watctower corporation used the name "Jehovah" so much for "branding" purposes (like in marketing) ... to be recognized for that ... yet the NAME under people is saved is JESUS. In my case after leaving that Corporation, I became atheist, gnostic, deist, was into meditation, new age stuff, read hindu, budist, islam stuff... but there are some people that truly are after God's heart ... to them God shows them the way ... the happiness and joy that I have and experience now is undescribable ... now I know that there is a God Creator and that Jesus is the Son of God. I am a believer. I am a Christian now. THE NAMES OF GOD


    ELOHIM......Genesis 1:1, Psalm 19:1
    meaning "God", a reference to God's power and might.
    ADONAI......Malachi 1:6
    meaning "Lord", a reference to the Lordship of God.
    JEHOVAH--YAHWEH.....Genesis 2:4
    a reference to God's divine salvation.
    JEHOVAH-MACCADDESHEM.......Exodus 31:13
    meaning "The Lord thy sanctifier"
    JEHOVAH-ROHI......Psalm 23:1
    meaning "The Lord my shepherd"
    JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH.......Ezekiel 48:35
    meaning "The Lord who is present"
    JEHOVAH-RAPHA.........Exodus 15:26
    meaning "The Lord our healer"
    JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU......Jeremiah 23:6
    meaning "The Lord our righteousness"
    JEHOVAH-JIREH.........Genesis 22:13-14
    meaning "The Lord will provide"
    JEHOVAH-NISSI.........Exodus 17:15
    meaning "The Lord our banner"
    JEHOVAH-SHALOM........Judges 6:24
    meaning "The Lord is peace"
    JEHOVAH-SABBAOTH......Isaiah 6:1-3
    meaning "The Lord of Hosts"
    JEHOVAH-GMOLAH........Jeremiah 51:6
    meaning "The God of Recompense"
    EL-ELYON..............Genesis 14:17-20,Isaiah 14:13-14
    meaning "The most high God
    EL-ROI................Genesis 16:13
    meaning "The strong one who sees"
    EL-SHADDAI............Genesis 17:1,Psalm 91:1
    meaning "The God of the mountains or God Almighty"
    EL-OLAM...............Isaiah 40:28-31
    meaning "The everlasting God"
  • journey-on

    When my fade got really serious, I found it difficult to pray. I know now this was because of my brainwashing ( yes, I believe they do that intentionally ) and my indoctrination from infancy. I was taught to feel guilty and separated from Jehovah God anytime I wasn't closely associating with "His" so-called organization. Even though I went through all the motions, pushing aside any doubts, I knew in my heart there was something very wrong with this religion. What they called a "complete suit of armor" felt more like a straight-jacket.

    Then, after a few years of an independent spiritual journey, I realized what prayer really is. I began a new and more personal way of praying. New doors opened and His Light and Love came pouring through. I can't even put into words how much better my Life has become because of the real search I embarked upon and what resulted from it.

    Help me understand why some people can't let go and continue to hang on for years and years.
    I know it's a controversial subject, but I truly believe there is a kind of hypnotic induction going on by the society. There are trigger scriptures used to corral and control the believers and any real spiritual search becomes painful for them. Most of them can't even see or hear with true spiritual eyes and ears. They are bombarded with uncomfortable guilt and fear, so they slink back to the drones they have become preferring that their ears be tickled. It's just easier for them. It takes real effort and love for Truth to break free of their chains.
  • trailerfitter

    It sounds almost like loosing a job in a fasion. Work provided for me everthing because we spent so much time there. Finding suddenly it is all gone is a real shock. Our place lost a contract and the place shut down. I keep in contact with my old work mates but its not the same. The shock of loosing my job made me look at how narrow my life had become so I decided to travel a bit, see parts of the world and relax for a while.

    I came back home with new friends and lots of new stories. A fresh out look and realised that I'd changed while around me everyone was still doing the same things. I found I did not want to follow the same path and indeed some of the fears I'd had about changing had gone..

  • Curtains

    lots of witnesses turn to Jesus when they leave. Jesus is associated with love, forgiveness, kindness, joy and holy spirit and endurance in the NT. In contrast Jehovah stands out as a party pooper - no worldly celebrations, no friends, no love - but lots of death, destruction and mighty denunciations. JWs have given him a very war mongering, hatefilled role.

    I'm so glad you have a close personal relationship with Jesus.


    Praying to Jehovah is bound to conjure up all the subconscious trappings inherited from being a Jehovah's Witness. Using a different name for god is bound to free you from such a burden.

    The real problem for me was not talking to Jehovah but getting him to talk to me. What I had to say was of no importance, whereas Jehovah may have had something of value to impart to me. I will never know.

    Why not try Allah or Zeus. You are just a likely to get a reply?

  • jookbeard
  • jookbeard

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