The art of letting go

journey-on

I have had to let go of many things in my Life. As I look back, I realize I might have made some mistakes in the process and procedure whereby it was accomplished.

When one decides to leave something or someone they have loved deeply, it is difficult, if not impossible (for some), to just turn loose. There are physical, emotional, and psychic pains that comes with it. There is also the fear of being judged in some way.

There are bonds and attachments that have to be severed. Do you just rip them free in one swift jerk? Do you take time to gently unravel them one by one? Is it ever advantageous to leave one or two attached? Do you do it in one explosive angry act? Or do you stew in the juices of doubt, hurt, and resistance first?

Religion, relationships, ideology.....share, please, your personal experiences of success and/or failure of letting go of something you held dear at one time.

SweetBabyCheezits

Damn, I thought you were passing on the secret.

I'm wondering about this myself. I've got some crap to share along these lines but I keep putting it off because it'll be a long post. But events have taken a turn and what had been excellent progress towards letting go came to an abrupt halt a few weeks back. Now I'm stewing in my juices and it wreaks so I'm very close to ripping it.

Rocky_Girl

My natural instinct is to tear free and run, but I have learned that unraveling things and having an exit plan before leaving is a lot smarter.

nugget

I have found that I had to accept that I could not be responsible for how others choose to act I can only be responsible for my own actions and decisions.

I look at it that I am there for all those people who I considered friends and relations. I have not changed except that I am now older and wiser. If any were to call on me I would happily invite them in, put the kettle on and make them comfortable. I feel sorry for them since they are so controled and stressed.

They may choose to shun but I have so many other things happening now that I have to let them get on with it. I hope they wake up bur it is entirely possible they may not and get to the end of their lives facing the idea that they may have been duped.

THE GLADIATOR

There are bonds and attachments that have to be severed. Do you just rip them free in one swift jerk? Do you take time to gently unravel them one by one?

Get rid of all bonds - they are falling in value. The right shares will go up in the very short time but ultimately there is no safe haven.

As for Religion, relationships, or ideology.....life's to short for such distractions.

THE GLADIATOR

Double post due to demon interference.

leavingwt

"Evidently", as the WT says, I like clean breaks.

-LWT (of the Letter Writing class)

journey-on

Sorry for starting a thread, then seeming to abandon it. I thought I was home for the afternoon, but had to leave again.

SBC - I wish I had the secret. I have let go of things/relationships in my past using both methods...one using the swift jerk method and the other using the long drawn-out gently unravelling method. I'm talking relationship-wise. As far as the religion goes, it was a slow fade, one in which I stewed, doubted, and hurt all the way through till it was over.

Rocky Girl - We all live and learn, don't we. An exit plan is good to have whether you're leaving a relationship or a religion.

nugget - Wise words. Truth is, we can only take responsibility for our own reaction to things, but sometimes, it's still painful to close the book on someone, or some thing.

GLADIATOR - Life is too short for a lot of things, my friend. The distractions, however, are part of our journey, I think, the learning tools, if you will.

leavingwt - Clean quick breaks are probably less painful in the long run. Later, though, sometimes we look back and second guess ourselves when we do things quick and easy.

AGuest

There are bonds and attachments that have to be severed. Do you just rip them free in one swift jerk? Do you take time to gently unravel them one by one? Is it ever advantageous to leave one or two attached? Do you do it in one explosive angry act? Or do you stew in the juices of doubt, hurt, and resistance first?

Peace to you, dear JO! At the risk of "disagreeing" with some here (and so possibly hurting feelings... which I TRULY hope is the not the case, but given my track record today, it could happen - LOLOL!) I have to say that it depends on the bond: what it is that we're attached to... or is attached to us. Sometimes, ripping the hair/bandaid right out/off is the best course. Less pain in the long run. If the hair is very course or long... or the bandaid happens to be sticking to the wound/suture, however... ripping can actually cause more damage. And more pain.

Amy Winehouse apparently died from the "shock" of trying to quit her alcohol addiction "cold turkey." A bond that absolutely needed to be severed... but I'm not sure trying to rip free in one swift jerk was the best course for her.

As a mother, I had to severe some the "bonds" I had formed with my children... so that they could leave the nest and fly. Could've just tossed them out of the nest, yes. But some of those little birds don't make it... and end up a splatter on the pavement below. So, I "surgically removed" them, if you get my drift. One "nerve" at a time.

I think it all depends on how much residual pain can result... versus how much one can take.

Again, not trying to be disagreeable. I just see things a little differently than others from time to time.

Peace to you all!

A slave of Christ,

SA

Judge Dread

I thought this thread was about "letting go" in a different way.

Sorry.

JDW

The art of letting go

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