Personal Story - How a cult got me out of a cult

by CitizenRain 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • CitizenRain
    CitizenRain

    Hello,

    I used to be a bit more active in the community over on the Yuku board (I recognize some of you from over there) but have lost touch. I've been lurking this board for about 3 years now and finally decided to jump in and post, and share my similar but still unique story of how I went from being a born-in true believer to a full blown apostate.

    First off, let me introduce myself. My name is Dan and I am 27 years old and currently live/work in Seattle, WA USA. I was raised a 3rd generation JW, my grandparents on my dad's side joining in 1967-68, at the height of the 1975 frenzy. My grandmother was a german national with no grasp of english who had a baby by a Soldier (my granddad), which got her a free pass to the US, after a "shotgun" wedding. Once my grandfather left the military, they moved to Buena Park, CA where my grandma was befriended by Jehovah's Witnesses. I don't know for certain, but I get the feeling she initially intended to use her Bible Study to work on her grasp of English and because she was lonely. She was baptised sometime in 68 and my Grandpa joined in 70-71, when he was finally able to quit smoking.

    Maternally, my grandparents were hill folk with lots of kids and honestly, are a bit hard to pigeonhole. What is obvious is they used "the truth" as a tool. It got them off the hook from having to provide education for their kids (armageddon is coming any day!) and got them out of holding holiday celebrations where they'd have to spend money on the family. They moved alot (my mom alone went to something like 7 different Highschools), moving when their worldly behavior would get exposed at the congregation, then going to feed off of a new one. They were "around" the watchtower for years but only applied themselves to it loosely until all their kids were grown, putting on their kingdom hall face and then doing whatever they wanted at home, smoking for years after it was banned, cheating on eachother, etc. The oral history of what that period of time was like for that family is really hard to weigh, as much of it is speculative. They were both known for being less than truthful and for rewriting the ugly bits of their history. Most of their kids went on to become true, zealous WT believers.

    So there is my JW 'patronage', what I know of it at least. I grew up in the northern central part of Ohio, full of farmland, rolling hills, Amish, Mennonite and many other proud christian denominations, their churches seemingly outnumbering houses in some towns. We moved around alot, due to either work or issues with a certain elder or elders in one of the congregations we went to. My folks were subjected to some really terrible things by the elders over time.

    My earliest memories of going to the meetings were from Loudonville, OH, a sleepy little town of about 5,000 (then, now? who knows). I remember there was no sound system, no AC, about 40 members total and a BOE that consisted of 2, One evil weasel of a man with lots of ambition and an extreme sense of spiritual entitlement (he always bragged that his family was one of the "Founding Families" of the Watchtower. I remember this even though I was 5) and his yes man who lived in his guesthouse. There were no kids under 14 in the hall. We had a 19 year old in the congregation who went to Bethel (his name was Brian, thats all I remember. He played piano for the Hall) and that started me down the road of Hero worship, I wanted to go to Bethel too! He was getting so much attention and my mom mailed him our letters (my brother and I) every week. He only lasted there 6-8 months and was never the same again when he came back, his meeting attendance becoming less and less until he was never there at all by the time we left that hall. I have to think the experience must've woken him up, then, it was heartbreaking as a kid, now his plight I can appreciate as an adult. I gave my first meeting answer there and my first talk. I remember my 2nd talk ever, one of the old brothers in front of me had a seizure and fell back on top of me, not 30 seconds before I had to get on the platform. All I can remember is the sound of my knees knocking together because I was so scared, trying not to mess up Exodus too badly haha :)

    Eventually we left the 2 elder show for the big congregation in Wooster, which was experiencing a youth movement. I had to have been about 8 or 9 by this time. The elders here had all these kids and they had made it their mission to baptise all of them. I made friends, did horribly in school (my mom constantly waffled back and forth on Homeschooling vs Public School) and went through the questions for baptism the first time when I was 9 and didn't pass. It didn't slow me down for long though, I just had to get baptised! (all my friends, older than I was were being dunked). With my parents blessing, I went through the questions again when I was 10 and was baptised at that age on June 15th, 1994 at the Cleveland Convocation Center.

    Life kinda all blends together after that. Things weren't terrible. lots of playing outside, aux pioneering with my mom in the summers, my dad working his tail off to keep the family afloat. Work dried up for him in Ohio and the family was forced to look elsewhere. On a whim, my mom applied for a job on behalf of my dad in Redmond, WA , and when I was 14 years old we moved across the country to start a new life. Things went horribly, horribly wrong.

    Sorry! Only have enough time right now for the first part. I'll get the 2nd part out tomorrow :) Nice to meet you all!

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome! Glad to have you.

  • ziddina
    ziddina

    Welcome to the board, Citizen Rain!! I like your on-board 'handle'!!

    Zid the She-Devil

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Welcome to the board. Like your story so far. Look forward to part 2.

    Think About It

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits

    Welcome to JWN! Now let me tell you about my god.

    Kidding, that's a Godrulz joke. We're glad you're contributing to the forum, CR, and looking forward to the rest of your bio! Get on it!

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    Great intro CitzenR. Can't wait for part II.

    Welcome

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Welcome.

    Very interesting so far. Can't wait for part two.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Welcome to JWN. Wooster is probably about an hour from me. Can't wait for part two of your story!!!!!!

  • mummatron
    mummatron

    Hi! *waves*

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Welcome

    Looking forward to part two.

    LITS

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