i've been posting here for a few months now but i suddenly realized that i don't say a whole lot. so i thought i would tell you all a little about myself.
i was born in a little village on the base of the andes mountains called urumbamba in peru. my father, a local witch doctor left my mother when i was born because he thought my mother had given birth to the devil. when i was six, my mother along with my 6 brothers and 8 sisters moved to lima leaving me behind in the care of the village idiot who kept me in the chicken coop until i was 14. on my fifteenth birthday i ran away to lima in search of my family only to discover that everyone except for my brother spartacus had died in a freak fishing accident. when i found my brother, he was living with a transvestite midget prostitute named chloe, and was addicted to peyote. one day i awoke and went to the kitchen where chloe was already sitting on the high chair, the rubber band firmly wrapped around her forearm, readying herself for her next hit of heroin. i sat across from her and watched with fascination as the syringe plunged into her vain. she stared at me with lobotomized eyes, her tattered dress exposing her sagging breasts and i thought of my sweet uncle pedro who always flashed his breasts at me. a solitary tear ran down my weathered face as i packed up my meager belongings that night and headed for the streets. for the next four years i lived off my earnings from the nightly dogfights i set up in a abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. one night after i had stitched up my faithful dog archides following a particularly nasty fight, i noticed a woman who was lingering behind long after everyone had left. she motioned for me to approach, and she leaned into my ear and whispered that a better life awaited me elsewhere. eager to leave, i followed her into a long automobile (what i found out later was called a limousine). she took me back to her house where i was bathed and clothed, and fed. she told me she would take me to a place called america, a place where everyone was equal, no matter whether they were rich or poor, no matter what they looked like. she told me of the nightly offerings the cities rich made to the poor, of the kindness strangers were shown and how well the ill were taken care of. i couldn't wait to be taken to america and the next day i was hidden in the engine block of her limousine and we were off.