I Was a Practicing Idiot

by AllTimeJeff 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • AllTimeJeff

    The older I get, the more I see that the collective intelligence of people isn't too high. I lump myself in on that.

    When I first left, I was so conflicted. Do I try to help others by bringing down the WTBTS? Well, that isn't happening. What about being a sort of online support? That's hard for me to do, and I probably am not too good at that.

    I think the only thing I can really bring to the table is to just be honest.

    For one thing, it seems like it will be a long time if ever before my life is completely free of the effects of being born and raised as a JW.

    And, for the record, I did believe it for a while, esp. when it was convenient for me as I was climbing up the borg company ladder. My one saving grace is that the higher up you go, the more you see what the GB is all about for real, and I am proud of myself for leaving after I saw it. I don't beat myself up for that too much. I was a kid, then a young man who was lied to and taken advantage of.

    I stand here before you all with nothing to show for my 20's, except that I had the dignity and respect for myself to not let them claim anymore of my life.

    Was I an idiot in retrospect for believing it and being willing to turn off my brain? Yeah. I have to be honest. Also, I wanted to be the man. Da man!

    The great thing though is, by being honest, I can also be the biggest threat to JW's, a practicing human being, with my brain turned on and engaged.

    You know, you can try to bring down "the organization". You can try to expose what most people rightly just ignore.

    This forum does more damage then probably most resources on the internet simply because it allows for the free exchange of ideas. Yeah, morons abound here too. Fundies and Ahab ex JW's are here trying to go about it the wrong way.

    I should probably say that my efforts to just forget I was ever a JW for me wasn't the most productive way to deal with it. I think I will forever be a bit lonely for what I have had to amputate off. But, if everyone had my problems, the world would be a better place.

    Anyway, I am in a good place right now, just with the scars to show where I have been, the experiences of a 60 year old to make me a little older then I should be.

    One day, I will learn to lighten up and have some fun. Hopefully. In the meantime.......................

  • designs

    You're alright buddy

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi AllTimeJeff, I am glad that you are in a good place now. If you want to lighten up, do something that a kid would do, go to the park and play in the grass or on the swings. Although I spend way too much time on this forum, I also go have fun riding a bicycle, playing tennis, riding a motorcycle, talking with friends, laughing, etc.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • designs

    'We can never step in the same river twice' Heraclitus

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    good purge!

    now lets party!

  • AllTimeJeff


    (still learning how to do that one...) :-P

  • EmptyInside

    I needed to read this on a day I feel quite conflicted. I know most of what the Witnesses teach is bogus,if not all of it. But,my life would be easier right now,if I just continued to go along with it.

    But,I can't go back to the ignorance is bliss thing. Anything that just didn't seem right,well,wait on Jehovah,yeah,that's the ticket.

    And when,I finally do make a clean break of it,and I'm going to have to soon for sanity's sake,it will always be a part of me. I was born into it. When a person is raised with a set of beliefs and how to think and feel about certain matters,there is sure to be a residue effect. And that is at the very least.

    And it does help when I read of someone like you,Jeff,who went to Gilead,and was a missionary. It helps to read a true honest account of it all,not just a watered down Watchtower experience. I think most of us,see things more at a congregation level,and that is disturbing sometimes,in of itself. So,just sharing your experiences help those trying to break free from it all.

    So,it is comforting to know that we all have our battle scars,so to speak. And that's okay. We can't change the past,it's part of who we are,but we just move on.

  • Judge Dread
    Judge Dread

    Practice does make perfect, no?


  • AllTimeJeff

    Practice does make perfect, no?

    JD, you would know......

  • AwareBeing

    It was nice reading about you Jeff. I had only gotten bits and pieces of your story

    from your funny comments, or words of encouragement to others like us.

    It's good to know that theres people like you, and some of the other posters out there.

    We all once knew the lie as "the truth" and practiced it. Know the WT is starting to look like the idiot!

    That's why we're here, to help others see that by explaining how the Society's practices are bad.

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